Teddy and Tamara, backdated to Oct 21

[ax_dragoness]

Tamara goes looking for some gossip, and gets way more than she bargained for when she asks about Teddy and Billy. Teddy gets an ally he’s not entirely sure he wants.


Classes thankfully over for the day, Tamara gathered up her things and headed for the door, wings stretching as soon as she hit the hallway. Spotting a familiar figure just ahead of her, she sped up to catch him.

"Hey, Teddy, wait up!"

Day two of Billy not talking to him and Teddy was in agony. Half-reassured that he hadn't actually been as badly in the wrong as he'd first believed, it still didn't help him come anywhere close to being okay with suddenly losing his best friend. Even if Billy still regretted the kiss, maybe they could have stayed friends -- that would have been okay. Painful, but not as bad as this.

He was the first one out the door after class, head down and avoiding eye contact. He didn't make it nearly far enough before he heard Tamara call his name. He stopped walking and waited for her to catch up. He might as well. She'd end up finding him anyway. He gave her a wan smile as she joined him in the hall. "Hey. What's up?"

"Haven't see much of you lately," she replied, smiling up at him, just a bit of mischief playing at her lips. She was pretty sure he'd been avoiding her since that day flying - and since she'd figured out his apparently secret crush, from the looks of things. "Where're you heading?"

Tamara was giving him that look again -- the one that suggested she knew a lot more about what he might be thinking than he ever wanted her to. And since she wasn't trying to hit him with something, she probably hadn't talked to Billy. Okay; he could totally brazen this one out. "I've been around," he shrugged, trying for 'nonchalant'. The bags under his eyes and his general hangdog appearance probably didn't help with that pretense. "I was just going up to the reading room. It's quiet this time of day."

"Sounds good - I think I'll give that a try too," she said, leaving no room for him to turn her down. "How's things?"

Oh, for... she wasn't leaving him alone, and his mind raced as he tried to figure out what, if anything, she might already know. If Billy had run to Tommy, Tommy might well have told Tamara... but he couldn't count on that, either. So keep to his new honesty policy, but also not give away too much that would be too humiliating. Sure, easy line to walk.

"Going okay." He tried that on for size. It wasn't true. "Life is complicated," he admitted after a beat. "And I really wish it weren't. How are things with you?"

"Fine," she replied easily as they headed up the stairs toward the reading room, the noises of other students fading behind them. "Flying's going well, school's boring... the usual, I guess."

Maybe she wasn't on a fishing expedition after all. Teddy started to relax a little, letting his guard down. As long as he kept the conversation off of himself, things might be okay. "What's going on with you and Tommy, these days? Is that still a thing? An occasional sometimes-thing," he amended. He'd seen enough of Tommy and the blue girl from the Brotherhood at the party the week before to understand that whatever arrangement Tommy and Tamara had, the freedom obviously went both ways.

She raised an eyebrow at him, a little surprised but mostly amused that he would ask. "When we're in the mood now and then, sure," she told him, not shy about it (but definitely waiting to see if he'd blush). "But Billy totally got the wrong idea, Tommy and I are totally just friends with benefits."

Teddy didn't blush -- after all, Billy wasn't around this time to make talking about this sort of thing awkward (meet his eyes, not meet his eyes, try not to think about him making out with someone- augh. He was <i>not</i> going to think about Billy. He was not.). "I figured as much from that very dramatic flail. As long as you're happy, that's the main thing."

"And what about you?" she asked with feigned innocence, though it genuinely was the natural follow-on. He'd kinda set himself up for it. Even better, as they stepped into the reading room it was immediately obvious that they had the place to themselves. Perfect.

"My flailing is usually much less dramatic." He avoided the question with a joke, setting his backpack down on one of the small tables. "How are you feeling about the test next week? We could quiz each other."

"That's not what I was asking," she replied, smirking, as she put her things down across from him, flipping the chair around to straddle it like she always had to for her wings. With a glance to be sure the door was closed behind them, she gave him a knowing little smile. "So... you and Billy, yeah?"

The blood drained from Teddy's face and any spark left his eyes at that question. How much did she know after all? "No." Teddy said flatly, resisting the urge to bolt for the door. "That is definitely not a thing."

“Wait, seriously?” They’d been so <i>cute</i> the other day, and his answer only confirmed that there’d been <i>something</i> there… Tamara seemed to finally notice that Teddy didn’t look so good, like he hadn’t been sleeping well, and she frowned. “Dude, what happened?”

Teddy looked away, staring out of the window toward the green grass of the lawn beneath. That same paralysis crept up over him, a tight tension that tried to tie his tongue and freeze his mouth shut. <i>Not safe.</i>

"We fought," he said after too much silence had elapsed. "I'm not-" he took a deep breath and forced it out again. "I'm not out," he said simply, trying not to curl up into a ball and die from saying the words out loud. Let her fill in the blanks. "At least I wasn't. And then I came out to him yesterday... and you saw his post on the forum. Anyway. It's not a thing, and it won't ever be."

Shit, Tamara was in way over her head on this one. “But he’s got a huge crush on you,” she said without thinking. Teddy knew that, right? He had to know that. But why would Billy be so angry? Shouldn’t he have been, well, thrilled?

"Yeah, I know." Teddy closed his eyes against the overwhelming wave of <i>feeling</i> that surged up and threatened to swamp him. He needed to push it all back down inside its little box and pretend it wasn't there. "I don't think that's going to be much of a problem anymore. He called me a coward. He's not wrong."

“What, because you weren’t out?” Tamara was incensed. Harsh, Billy, wtf? “That’s not fair - what’s wrong with him? He should know better - Teddy, you don’t have to be out to anyone before you’re ready,” she told him firmly. Then realized how that might sound coming from the girl who’d just cornered him to talk about his boy!crush, and hurried to add, “And I haven’t said anything to anyone - and I won’t! If you don’t want me to, I mean. I just, y’know, saw how you guys looked at each other...”

"Not as subtle as I thought I was, hunh?" Teddy gave a short, raw laugh. "But yeah. Please don't?" He looked back and met her eyes, drawing back a little from the fairly murderous look he saw there. "I'm not ready- I don't want it to be a big deal." Too late. "And Billy's ... he's hurt, and he's embarrassed, I think, and I can understand it. If I'd just been honest from the beginning we could have avoided ... all of this. Saved your hair dryer, too."

Tamara rolled her eyes at the hair dryer comment - her hair dryer was fine, it’d just been a delay - but nodded. “I won’t say anything, promise. But not because it’s some dark secret, okay?” She really, really wanted him to believe this part. “Because it’s your choice and I respect that. No one should <i>make</i> you - and he shouldn’t make you feel guilty about it either.” No point denying who she was talking about. Part of her really wanted to track down Billy and give him a piece of her mind... She’d give that more thought later, for now Teddy was her focus. “For what it’s worth, you’re definitely not alone here, and I think this really is a safe place to be open, when you’re ready. I mean, I know a bunch of us are really committed to making sure everyone’s welcome and y’know, safe.”

Then, because it was an offer she’d now made a few times and was getting good at, she held up a hand and let sparks dance off her fingertips, lips twisting into a dangerous little smirk. “And anyone bringing the homophobic BS will have to deal with me.”

"Thanks, I think." Teddy did smile a little at that. "But we've probably had enough electroshocking happening over this whole thing already. And for the record, since apparently I'm talking about this now... I'm not <i>ashamed</i> of who I am. That's not the problem. Coming here -- I had no idea what to expect. From anyone. And it felt safer not to start off somewhere new with a huge target stuck to my head again."

“Again?” The question popped out before Tamara could think better of it.

"My last school was a Christian academy." Teddy pulled his knees up and rested his chin on one. "Episcopalian, not Catholic, but old school high church. Not exactly big on 'sodomites' either way. I got outed - as gay, not as a mutant - and it was a whole huge mess. We aren't even that religious," he sighed, exhausted by the entire thing. "My mom just liked their state ranking and college stats."

Tamara nodded, for once with actual understanding. “I went to a school like that until last year, and at least half the stupid town’s that way. Bunch of assholes.” She offered him a little smile. “I was always in trouble for talking back when they spouted crap like that.”

"I am shocked and appalled to hear that," he replied, entirely deadpan for a moment before breaking. "I... Didn't. Another huge surprise, I'm sure. But I was there on scholarship, and there was no way Mom could have afforded the tuition if they pulled it." Teddy looked around at the mahogany furniture, the velvet curtains, the walls covered in carved bookcases. "Same with this place, honestly."

He flopped back in the chair, its very plushness reminding him how very out of reach Xavier's actually was. "What happened, at yours? Was it your wings starting?"

Tamara could see Teddy blaming himself still, making something twinge in her chest, but she answered his question first. “Kinda? More like, I showed up at lunch wearing a bloody hospital gown and two wings freshly busted out of my back, and none of my friends actually stepped up to help. But hey, Xavier hasn’t thrown me out yet, and I’m way more trouble than you,” she pointed out. “I think you can stop worrying about the scholarship thing here.”

"Maybe," he frowned, not entirely convinced. "And I'm sorry that your friends were jerks. 'They didn't deserve you' is one of the easiest things to say and the hardest to believe, but they were definitely not worth it."

Tamara shrugged, wings rippling with the motion of it. “I dunno, I find it pretty easy to believe.” And like 90% of the time, that was true. “But none of that’s the point. What I was trying to get at before is that coming out should be your choice, when you feel safe enough or think it’s important enough.” Tumblr-activism for the win, apparently, but not everyone had gotten that kind of support, so hopefully she was helping at least a little. Another thought occurred to her, making her frown. “I know Billy’s not shy about being out, but I can’t believe he’d be such a jerk about it, nevermind going all EMP on us.”

Teddy was going to have to come to terms with the thought that either he really didn't understand girls, or he was terrible at being supportive and comforting, or a combination of both. And then they were back on to the events of Friday morning (or to be more accurate, Thursday night and Friday morning), and his discomfort grew again. "He was pretty mad," Teddy answered the implied question, sinking back into his misery. "At me, for lying to him. And I did lie - by omission, anyway. He assumed I was straight and I didn't tell him any different. It's kind of an important thing to know about someone you're living with."

“It’s really not, though,” Tamara replied, raising an eyebrow at Teddy, who looked completely miserable. “Like, I get that you like him and don’t like upsetting him,” sort of, anyway, “but that doesn’t make you some kind of bad guy. Like, I’d be kind of hurt if Clarice didn’t trust me with something like that, but that’s because we’re close and like, I’m really open about being supportive and all. But I mean... well, think of Simon - he didn’t tell people he was a mutant for ages because he wasn’t sure we wouldn’t out him to his family somehow, and that’s a crazy big deal to him. You just don’t know what’s going on in someone’s life, y’know?”

Teddy grimaced. "That's how I was thinking of it, honestly. I know I hurt his feelings when he asked me to dance at the first party. I turned him down and it just seemed like the simplest choice at the time. Keep the drama low, keep my head down, and get through the year. And when Billy and Jean-Paul weren't getting any push-back from anyone, and I thought maybe I could ... I figured that once I explained, he'd understand. But I didn't even get the chance before the crap hit the fan."

"But... I mean, come on, you both like each other," Tamara replied, almost pouting a bit. "What'd he say when you talked to him again?" Obviously it hadn't been good, but maybe all hope wasn't lost. They'd be so cute together.

"I haven't talked to him." He'd done everything in his power to avoid it, cutting class yesterday and only slipping into his room to pick up his things when he was sure Billy wasn't around. "Nick's letting me crash in his room. He's got an extra bed."

Tamara blinked at him, stunned. "Wait, seriously?"

Teddy frowned back at her. "Yes? He's furious with me, and he said some pretty dickish things himself. I'm not going to force him to talk to me. That and I don't really feel like being yelled at again."

"So you just, what, ran away?"

"Giving us both space. At least until I figure out what to do next."

"That sounds like an excuse," Tamara replied, though there wasn't any bite to it. Any way you looked at it, this sucked for Teddy. "I mean, you've gotta face him sometime, this place is tiny. And he's your roommate." Well, might as well go all in. "And dude, you're crazy about him."

He was slowly getting a little more used to talking about it in the abstract, but her pointed comment was way too personal, too close to home. Accusing him of-

No. She wasn't targeting him for anything. Tamara was supportive, maybe a friend, and he was running on old programming that he desperately needed to shake. Teddy swallowed hard to get rid of the lump in his throat.

"I wouldn't know what to say. 'It's been two days, I'm still gay and you're still an overreacting butthead' isn't exactly going to win me any points."

"But what if he's done being an overreacting butthead?" Okay, she was incapable of keeping a straight face as she said that, and a little smile pulled at her lips. "If he's not a total jerk, and I don't think he is," Billy was almost uncomfortably adorable after all, "then he probably feels like shit too, right?"

"Maybe." Teddy was unconvinced. "But what if he's still mad, and I just set him off again? It's better if I just let him cool down and come talk to me when he's ready." If he ever wanted to. 

Tamara’s phone had materialized in her hands, and she was typing  rapidly as she muttered back, “Then I’ll tear him a new one...”

It took a second for Teddy to realize, what she was doing, then the panic hit. "Are you texting him? Right now? No!" He lunged across to grab for her phone, his fingers closing on air.

Tamara just managed to get her phone out of range before Teddy could snatch it from her, and reflexively shot a spark of electricity at him before she could stop herself (though she did manage to crank it down to a small zap at least). “What the fuck, Teddy?!” God, she hated the way her heart was thudding in her chest...

"I didn't ask you to do that!" What had she said? How much had she typed? He hadn't been watching carefully but it hadn't been a long text, right? Had she told Billy where Teddy was <s>hiding out</s> trying to work? "I'm not - I really don't want to have it out with him again today, especially not here." 

“Putting it off will only make it worse,” Tamara pointed out, still eyeing him in case he decided to freaking <i>lunge</i> at her again (and noting that he hadn’t even flinched at the shock, if he got violent she’d need to turn it up apparently...). “You’re both being so dramatic, ohmygod, could you just relax?”

"No," Teddy shook his head, eyeing Tamara's phone like it was a snake about to bite him. "That is a thing that is currently completely impossible." 

“<i>Try</i>,” Tamara instructed flatly, super unimpressed.

Just then her phone buzzed - a “Sure?” from Billy, responding to her “Gotta minute?” text.

Teddy's heart lodged firmly in his throat. "That was him, wasn't it? No, you know what? I'm out. I can't deal with this right now." He stood, slinging his bag back over his shoulder. "Thanks for the pep talk, and I honestly mean that. I'm just - not ready to talk to him. He's all yours." 

“Ohmygod, seriously?! Teddy!” But he was already fleeing the scene. Tamara huffed angrily, wings puffing behind her in frustration. Jeez, he really was kinda chicken...

Turning her attention back to her phone, she responded to Billy. Maybe she could talk some sense into <i>him</i>.

<i>Need to talk to you, where you at?</i>
 

Comments

[ax_aurora]

oh Jesus Tamara lolololol

[ax_dragoness]

Oh it’s gonna get worse - the log that will immediately follow this one is literally entitled “Billy’s in trouble now” >.>

She’s gonna get these two sorted out even if it kills her them. XD

[ax_hulkling]

Teddy is strongly considering the witness protection program.