ax_main | Teddy and Billy Backdated Morning After

Billy is pretty sure he's dying while also trying to be irritated at his roommate. They talk and things kind of get worked out.

Oh no. Oh no.

He was dying, wasn't he? His head felt like a metal spike had been shoved through both temples and his throat felt rough and scratchy. Billy cracked one eye open, immediately hissing and covering his head with whatever was covering him, a blanket, when the morning sun decide to assault his vision.

"Oh god help me..." He groaned as he curled into a fetal position.

Teddy saw the slow roll into life before he heard the hiss, from where he was sitting cross-legged on his own bed, his laptop propped on his knees. He saved the report he'd only kind of been working on, and closed the computer. "There is no God here," he intoned solemnly, as he moved to sit on the side of his bed. "How're you feeling?" he asked, pretty unnecessarily.

Billy wanted to claw his brain out and trade it for a new one, but that wasn't possible and he didn't dare try using magic. Instead he settled for silently wishing death on Warren and a soft hand smack to Kitty for ever giving him the idea to drink.

At Teddy's voice, Billy screwed his face up even more and shook his head. He wasn't ready to deal with this right now, not like this.

"Like I want to fucking die." He grumbled, the words muffled by his blankets.

There were times when Teddy wished he could get tipsy, to feel what it was like, or to have that thrill and the sheer freedom he'd seen on everyone last night- and then there were times like this when he was glad it wasn't even a temptation. "You'll live, even if you don't want to," he said with real sympathy, and got up to go rummage through his bag.

A minute later, armed with a couple of ibuprofen and a half-bottle of lime gatorade, Teddy sat down carefully on the edge of Billy's bed. "Can you sit up for a sec? This will help."

Billy remained curled up for a little longer even though he knew Teddy was sitting right there, only slowly moving to uncover his face and glare at the guy. "I don't want to sit up."

But at a snail’s pace, he sat up and held out his hand for the ibuprofen, barely able to look at Teddy because of last night and also the sun just loved to shine its stupid self in through the damn window.

"Just until you've taken those and had something to drink. The last thing you need is to choke to death along with your first hangover." Teddy held out the bottle as well, not moving until Billy took it. He was getting the royal stink-eye along with everything else, and he hoped with every fiber of his being that it was because of the headache and not because Billy remembered anything about the end of the night before.

Billy popped the pills into his mouth and grimaced when he took a swig of the sugary drink, the taste mixing with the awful taste in his mouth making him want to gag. He set the gatorade bottle down by his knees and tried real hard to focus on anything besides the pain in his head and bitterness in his chest.

"So, you have fun dancing?" He let bitterness win out in the end because he was only human.

"Is that what this is about?" Teddy frowned at him, guilt warring with hurt and irritation deep in his chest. "Yes, I had fun last night. So, did you, last I saw."

Billy narrowed his eyes, the pain in his head making him not want to be nice and he suddenly wished Teddy wasn't so close, but he couldn't tell him to move without looking childish. "Yeah. I did. Even after you so wonderfully gave me some bullshit excuse on dancing."

Billy sighed as rubbed at the bridge of his nose, his shoulders slumping and in a quieter voice he added. "You could have just said no. That would have been fine."

Wounded Billy was so much worse than angry Billy, and Teddy closed his eyes, exhaling. "Drink more of that, you'll thank me later." He pushed himself up to standing, and tried to figure out how to get out of this without causing more damage - and without lying. I wanted to dance but I said no because I'm chickenshit would not take the conversation anywhere he was ready to go. Not now, maybe not ever.

"Most of my experience with drunk people is that a plain old 'no' is never taken for an answer," Teddy replied, and that much was actually very true. "I didn't think it would be that big a deal."

And it really shouldn't have been, but Billy had to go and be an emotional volcano about it because he liked Teddy. Liked him even though the guy had given him no reason to even think that anything could or ever would be happening there.

Don't shit where you eat.Tommy's words came back to him from last night and later he would be smug about remembering, but right now he just felt dumb and hurt.

"You're right." He replied quietly, pulling the blanket up over his shoulders and wanting nothing more than to just go back to sleep. "It shouldn't be a big deal. I got..." Guh. "I got my feelings hurt for stupid reasons, just next time know that a simple no will work."

If there ever was a next time, which Teddy seriously doubted. And that should have made him happier, because hooray for fewer complications, right? Yeah.

"You're really upset about this," he said haltingly, and how the hell did he fix this? Because he couldn't just let it go and have everything be awkward and awful, not when he'd felt so close to something like comfortable. And he sure as hell couldn't come out to Billy now, not when he was hung over and feeling rejected. That couldn't possibly go anywhere good.

"I didn't realize that you were serious," Teddy tried, his own head aching in sympathy. "You know it's not about you, right? It's just- I'm not-"

Not out, not safe, not the kind of person you deserve, not ready to be anyone's anything-

"Not gay." Billy nodded, rubbing at his face with his hands roughly and wanting to just die. "I know. I know. And I guess I wasn't completely serious? I was, but I didn't mean it as in like 'oh now we are together'. Like friends?"

Well, kind of. But it could happen, Warren had danced with him as just friends, so had Kitty, Yana and Jeanne-Marie. "I'm sorry. I'm trying to make sense, but the pounding in my skull isn't helping."

It was easier to ignore the first things Billy had said in favor of only dealing with the last one. Teddy's insides were a mess, and he wanted to yell, to cry, to punch something -- the last one, he could do. At least once he was sure Billy was going to forgive him. Maybe even for the things he couldn't admit he needed forgiveness for.

"It's fine, I understand where you're coming from, at least now," Teddy replied, subdued. He tried to shake off the mood, to be cheerful, kind Teddy like everyone wanted. "You really should drink more. You'll feel a lot better once the advil kicks in and you're re-hydrated."

Billy stared down at the yellow colored drink and wanted nothing more than to just push it off the bed like a spiteful cat, but instead he picked it up and drank the rest of what was left. He showed the empty bottle to Teddy and then placed it on his nightstand, laying back down with a tired sigh.

"Can we just not do this? Like, okay I know not to ask you to dance and you know not to make bad excuses anymore. Can we just be good?"

Teddy toyed with the pen he'd picked up off his desk, not really looking at it. "I'd like that," he offered, outwardly calm and internally screaming. "I thought we were getting off to a pretty good start, all things considered, and I hope we can keep that. If you're good, I'm good."

Billy watched Teddy from his slumped over position in his bed for a moment, knowing that it was for the best just for both of them to wash their hands and be done with this. He nodded his head a little and shifted so his blankets would cover him.

"Yeah. We're good. Friends?"

"Friends." Teddy turned away before he said something he'd regret. He grabbed his gym bag instead, and slung it over his shoulder. "I'm going to go down to the danger room for a while, let you recover in peace and quiet." He grabbed the door handle, turning to look at the miserable lump under the covers.

"For what it's worth-" Teddy fought against the lump in his throat, the way his breath caught on it. Despite that, his voice came out quieter, and sad. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay." He muttered quietly and Billy watched him leave, feeling better but also so much worse. He pulled the covers over his head, closing his eyes and wanting this whole day just to be over with already.