Loki and Cal - Backdated to late April
Apr. 30th, 2019 01:41 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ax_mainA difficult psi training session leads to snuggling leads to more.
Cal walked out of Betsy's room, intent on heading straight back to his, grabbing Abs, and blinking off somewhere. The island Clint, Caleb and he went to sometimes, maybe. That was always a good place to clear his head. And his head needed clearing, after the training session he'd just had with Betsy.
He'd made progress, been keeping her out longer, but this last time, his defenses had crumbled within seconds. And he hated not knowing what exactly she stumbled across inside his mind, almost as much as he would hate to know just what she knew. Plausible deniability. That was a thing.
But why was he so fucking useless at this?
His feet slowed, almost of their own volition, before he reached his own door, and before he could examine why, he was knocking on Loki's.
After a second Loki swung the door open. He was dressed for the day in a flowing black and green tunic top over loose trousers. His hair was braided in a series of sporadic, thin black braids, clipped on top of his head as if he’d gotten bored and started braiding with no intention of calling this a style for the day. Were it anyone other than Cal on the other side of the door he would have made them wait the extra minutes for him to put his hair back into presentable shape. But it was Cal, and Cal got to see him as he was.
Loki took one look at his friend’s body language and stepped back for him to come inside. He reached out a hand. “Hey.”
"Hey," Cal said, realizing what he'd wanted when Loki held his hand out. Cal had expected to shift - panther, probably - and wind around Loki's legs, but here he was, stepping inside and threading his fingers with Loki's as if it was the easiest thing in the world. He let his friend close the door, then wrapped his other arm around Loki in a warm, necessary hug.
Loki slipped his hand free and hugged him back. He rubbed a circle between Cal’s shoulder blades.
Cal's shoulders hunched, as if trying to make himself shorter, and he wrapped his second arm around Loki, so thankful that his friend was simply hugging him, no questions asked. He let himself focus on the slide of Loki's hand on his back, let that touch help calm seep back into him. He could relax, around Loki. "Thank you," he said, unsure how much time had passed since he'd walked in. A minute, two, ten?
“Always,” Loki said simply. “Cocoa? Soda? Blanket? Plushie?”
"Bed?" Cal answered hopefully, reluctant to loosen the embrace for now. He would, of course, so they could move, but he didn't feel like doing anything that meant moving out of Loki's space, not unless Loki wanted him to.
Loki didn’t bother disentangling. He swung them around like a dance and then sat on the edge of the bed. He finally let go enough to scoot back onto the nest of pillows and then opened his arms.
Cal crawled into his arms without giving it a second thought, settling against Loki and tangling a leg with his. He was still reeling a little too much to even consider whether there was anything left about this that felt weird, while neither of them were shifted. Cal settled his head on his friend's shoulder and breathed in deeply. "Training with Betsy," he said, probably because Loki hadn't asked.
Loki stroked along his back and down his shoulder and arm, fingers tracing in soothing patterns. “You are braver than the warriors of Asgard,” Loki murmured.
When Cal mentioned his psi training in the past Loki had voiced his ‘better you than me’ opinion. As much as he’d love to experiment with the protection features of his powers, he did not want to let Betsy Braddock into his head. Though she was welcome to step on him any day. Er. Reasons Betsy was never allowed in his head.
"I hate thinking of what she might get from my head," Cal muttered. He didn't feel brave. Just unsteady, pissed, vulnerable, needy. So fucking needy; look at him now. What was brave about that?
“Braddock strikes me as someone who’s seen some shit. Considering her current state.” Loki brushed his lips lightly across the top of Cal’s head. “You don’t actively think of eating babies, do you?”
Cal frowned at Loki's words, burrowing a little closer after that brush against his hair. "It's not... I don't think she'll judge me. I just - I don't like..." Tension was still present in his body, and growing as he tried to put it into words. Words he could manage to get out, anyway. "I don't share easily. And I judge me." Including his terrible grammar. Whatever.
Loki’s fingers slid along Cal’s arm. “I get it,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to let anyone in here either. Hopefully by using her now, you can keep others out later.”
Loki never judged him either. Loki never pushed either. Cal was so thankful for that. For the safety he felt with his friend. Still, he had to ask, because the question was on his mind, too. "Do you think I'm using her?"
Hindsight, Loki realized that was bad phrasing for “I mean, it’s consensual usefulness. She is happy to help you, right?”
"I don't know that happy's got anything to do with it," Cal admitted, and shifted his head, words now muffled by Loki's shoulder. "But I'd been kind of avoiding her since Yorkland." And now he was back, and asking for a huge favor, and Betsy barely blinked and just helped him out.
“Oh?” More hair petting, more soft circles tracing along his shoulder.
Cal nosed at Loki's shoulder, silent for a beat. "We hooked up. In Yorkland. Thinking about it makes me freak the fuck out." Cal's voice was a little tight by the end of that sentence, and he felt so on edge, Loki's petting now adding to his tension instead of decreasing it.
Loki’s fingers slowed, resting lightly on Cal’s arm. “Want to think about something else right now? We can revisit if you want when you’re not raw from other Betsy related stuff. Be here now. Yorkland later.”
Cal grew silent for a few long seconds, then nosed at Loki's shoulder again. "How are you doing, anyway?" Cal asked, which was a yes, and he leaned his head back enough to look at his friend. "I sort of..." There was a hint of a smile on his lips. "Invited myself into your bed without even asking."
“I so want to make a lewd joke but you’re too squishy right now to tease hard.” Loki hugged him. “I was being lazy. Company is very welcome. I couldn’t decide between getting online, reading, or skulking around the attic so a wild Cal appearing is welcome.”
"I don't feel so wild," Cal remarked with a quick grimace. He propped his head up on his hand, elbow bent on a pillow. "What are you reading right now?"
“Middlegame.” He pulled the book over. “Thank the stars I don’t have a twin. This book makes me pretty sure I’d break the world somehow with a double.”
"Is it good? It's been on my list for a while." Cal was rubbing his thumb and forefinger over the fabric of Loki's tunic, as if sensory distraction might help him settle down, too.
“Pretty darn cool. I’ll slide it to you when I’m done.” Loki wriggled, more perfectly slotting their limbs together in pile formation.
"Thanks." Cal's gaze flicked up to Loki's hair, and his lips twisted a little. "New style?"
Loki grumbled and reached up to undo the clip. “I was bored. You caught me in the act.” He began smoothing one of the braids loose.
"Hey, it's a good look on you," Cal replied, fighting his battle at holding back his half smile. "Original. I really do have awesome timing."
Loki poked Cal in the side.
Cal laughed, batting Loki's hand away. "What can I say, man. Mid-braid is pretty avant-garde shit."
“If you’re mean to me I’ll make you undo them,” Loki threatened with a pout.
"Terrifying prospect," Cal stated with a nod, then smirked. "For you, I mean. I know jack shit about how to handle long hair."
Loki eyed him and then picked up Cal’s hand. He lifted it to the end of one of the thin braids. Loki’s hair was longer than when he’d first started at school. He’d been trimming it, but letting it grow out steadily. “It’s not rocket science. You just unravel it. Start from the bottom, work your way up.”
"Wait, how have I been mean to you?" Cal let out the token protest, ran his hand down the braid, then sat up, unpretzeling them so he could get both of his hands on Loki's hair. Because why the fuck not? It felt a little weird to be doing something so girly, but he'd been thinking about gender roles some, lately. How caught up he was in some stuff that Loki had managed to just... discard. Cal wanted 'girly' to not even be a thing anymore. "Let me know if I pull your hair," he stated, as he picked up one braid to get started.
“I trust you,” Loki said fondly. “And you’d have to pull pretty hard for me to care.” He smiled smugly, an expression quite similar to when he was a cat stretching back to be pet.
"I care," Cal pointed out in return. "So let me know if I do." He felt a little clumsy as he unraveled the first braid, separating strands to unwind them. Then he raked his fingers through the freed hair a couple of times before moving on to the next braid.
“But this is nice,” Loki protested softly. “No complaints.”
"Mkay," Cal murmured, letting himself focus solely on his task. It was nice. Not just the rhythmic motions of separating strands, of smoothing out hair, but also just doing this for Loki. Being of use. Cal worked happily, letting the repetitiveness of the task layer basic satisfaction over the anxiety his latest training session had triggered in him. Eventually, he was done, but he kept carding his fingers through Loki's hair, doing his best to work out tangles as smoothly and painlessly as possible, but otherwise mostly just petting him.
Loki felt Cal relax and let satisfaction sink through his limbs. He expected the motion would soothe him, as long as touch was okay today. That was half the reason Loki’s hair ended in the wild Medusa tangle of braids. Loki sighed contently and kept snuggling.
"Where's your brush?" Cal asked quietly, for no other reason than it felt like a quiet moment.
“Desk,” Loki answered. He let Cal go free.
Cal didn't go anywhere; he just straightened up enough to have line of sight, then threw a javelin of pink energy at the brush, and it fell into his hand. "I really don't know what I'm doing with this," he warned Loki, and started brushing his hair, hoping he wouldn't snag the brush on a tangle and pull too hard. Which meant, of course, that he was extremely cautious as he ran the brush through Loki's hair.
Loki hummed happily. “Have I ever mentioned I adore you? Very much. Right now, you are my favorite.”
Cal's gaze slid from Loki's hair to his smiling face. Cal himself was smiling a bit as he answered, "I love you too, man."
Loki fluttered his fingers and an illusion of glitter and green hearts showered down around them.
Cal chuckled, and tugged on Loki's hair mock-chidingly. "Fuck you, man. Please tell me that was illusion and not reality bending." The hearts were pretty obvious, but the glitter? Could go either way.
Loki made a soft sound and squeezed Cal’s arm. “It’s my room. As if I’d throw glitter when I don’t have to.”
Sure enough, the glitter was fading along with the hearts, but Cal was a little distracted by the noise Loki had just made. He swallowed, and resumed brushing his hair. "That's a very good point," he answered, a little belatedly.
“If I were a little more theatrical I suppose I could use this to make my own movies. But effort.”
"You could make a killing at live performance, too," Cal remarked.
“If I’m ever disinherited I’ll start a global tour,” Loki said with a chuckle.
Cal's first thought shouldn't have been, But then you'll be gone for so long. This was a hypothetical, hopefully distant future. Life would separate them before then. Loki would graduate and likely go back to Asgard. Cal would... fuck if he knew what he would do. "When are you graduating, anyway?"
Loki made a face. “I don’t know. Two years? Year and a half? The education system is a bit different and it depends on which I stick to. Do you have a timeline?”
"Should happen next year," Cal replied, glad to focus on the brushing again, so he wouldn't tense up too much. "Not that I have a clue what to do next." He patted Loki's shoulder. "Come on, roll over so I can get to the rest of your hair."
Loki complied, moving how Cal directed. “They’re building graduate housing. If you’re interested in international travel there will be a home for you in Asgard as long as I belong there.”
"I don't know what Caleb and Clint will wanna do," Cal admitted, after a beat. He didn't even know if they would want to stick together.
“In this hypothetical future, any home on offer to you will be big enough for Caleb and Clint. There comes a point where it’s ludicrous for the states to have the only mutant sanctuary and school.”
"It feels way too hypothetical right now," Cal stated. He started to rake his free hand through Loki's hair in the wake of the brush, just because the feel of it was nice. "All of it. Having to make life decisions."
“There’s still time.” Loki wriggled and stretched out languorously. “Also, if one decision doesn’t pan out, you make another. We aren’t trapped in one shape. So fuck being trapped to one path.” Said the prince of Asgard, full of lofty responsibilities.
"I mean, I guess I could find some remote learning college degree thing, and just stick around in graduate housing," Cal thought out loud. It was the closest to not making a decision he could get.
“Says the boy that can teleport. You can go to school anywhere you want.” Loki smiled.
"Says the boy who really doesn't want to think about doing anything like that," Cal replied quietly.
Loki waved his fingers and cast an illusion of a black squirrel darting across his desk and out the window, open for that moment. “Oh look, a squirrel.”
Cal chuckled again, and tugged on Loki's hair. "You're silly."
Loki rolled and tangled against Cal. He buried his face against his friend's shoulder. “Mm. Maybe.”
Cal let Loki bring him back down to the bed, and while he set the brush down on the bedside table, he kept his other hand in Loki's hair, all smooth and lustrous from just being brushed. "Maybe? Exhibit A: hearts and glitter. Exhibit B: that fucking squirrel," he pointed out, laughter and playful teasing woven into his voice in equal measures.
“Might just be a creative genius,” Loki countered. He snuggled and wrapped and arm around Cal.
Cal hummed, and petted Loki's hair. "A silly one," he said, his voice a little too quiet and content to quite pull off teasing, but the affection remained.
“Yes, yes.” Loki’s hand settled on Cal’s hip, thumb tracing idly. Cal seemed relaxed enough now that he didn’t need to tip-toe around him.
That touch was actually everything but relaxing, it turned out, but Cal did his best to remain outwardly relaxed, even as a little zing of arousal shot through him. He scratched gently at Loki's scalp, and focused on keeping his breathing even. Of course he had thought about this, since Loki's offer a while back. I volunteer as tribute, Cal was pretty sure had been his exact words. But did he really want to do this? Cal's dick was all for it. But he was so worried it would screw things up between them somehow. And Loki had grown to mean so much to Cal. Was it a risk worth taking?
Loki nuzzled his shoulder again. His powers of observation were dwindling in the face of this much hair petting. Curling up against Cal was as good as curling in a warm patch of sun. Maybe he should be more conscientious of what a hand grasping a hip might mean, but he was one to take opportunities when presented. Cal let him close. He liked being close.
Cal wrapped his other arm around Loki, hand landing on his shoulder. He stroked a touch there, feeling his willpower crumbling as Loki nuzzled his shoulder. Cal shifted his arm, hand ending up in Loki's hair on the side of his face, using it to tilt it back. "Hey..." There were things Cal wanted to say, but he was having trouble getting the words out. Was he about to fuck up? He wanted so badly to trust Loki that things wouldn't get weird.
Loki finally clued in to the intimacy factor when Cal tipped his face up. Unlike Cal, the moment Loki sensed danger he wanted to press into it. He took a soft breath, keeping his expression open. “Hey,” he said back gently. He leaned into Cal’s touch.
Loki wasn't helping. At all. Cal's fingers curled through his hair, stretched out again in another caress. "I really don't want to fuck us up," he admitted, his inner conflict playing in his eyes.
“Then stop being afraid,” Loki countered. He was ready to play with fire. Loki slid his hand up along Cal’s side. “It’s only bad if you're afraid of me after.” Loki smiled, a hint of amusement and challenge. “If you don’t like it I won’t be offended. Promise.”
"I know you won't," Cal answered, completely genuinely. He trusted Loki. But if feelings got involved... "Promise I won't lose you."
“You are stuck with me, Cal Rankin.” Loki tugged his shirt, pulling him closer.
"Promise me," Cal insisted, moving against the tug.
A flash of fear finally pierced Loki’s persistence. Too many vague dreams filled with loss.
He couldn’t make this promise to Cal. Through no fault of hormones or scorned hearts. There was a greater promise he could not make. It terrified him as much as it electrified him.
“I will do everything in my power to ensure you never lose me.” Said with solidity, and a far cry from sexy banter. No surprise that kissing Cal would start with desperation long before flirtation. “And that’s plenty of power,” he added. “So we can get those friends forever lockets engraved as soon as you’re done kissing me.”
Cal's heart, which was already beating double time, tripped up at hearing those words. It was one thing to be this close to doing it, and another one to hear them. Kissing Loki. Why, how did those words make it so much more real than it had been until now? "See?" Cal pointed out softly, and smoothed his fingers through Loki's hair, Cal's other hand cupping the back of his head. "Silly."
But then Cal lifted his head off the pillow, leaning up to brush his lips against Loki's. Tentative, at first, half expecting himself to suddenly freak the fuck out.
Loki kissed him back softly. For once he was happy to be silenced.
Nerves fluttered inside Cal, along with something else. He'd half expected it to be weird, knowing that he was kissing a guy, but really, he was kissing Loki, and he'd been wanting to for long enough that the guy thing wasn't even a thing, in the end. That first kiss merged into another, steadier, this time, but still only a press of lips to lips.
Loki slid his hand along Cal’s side, around to the small of his back. His lips parted, brushing over Cal’s, changing the angle of how they met.
Cal took that invitation for a first, brief slide of his tongue past Loki's lips, another shot of arousal delivered straight to his bloodstream. But there was still an undercurrent of unease in him, from being on his back, for some reason. So he shifted his hands onto Loki's waist and shoulder, broke the kiss, and rolled them so their positions were reversed. "This okay?"
Loki wriggled, making himself comfortable below Cal, and tangling their legs in a suggestive fashion. “Okay,” he confirmed. He was grateful that today’s outfit was all loose, flowing cotton. No restriction, though also no buffer if Cal kept manhandling him.
"Okay," Cal echoed, and kissed Loki again. This time, the tentativeness was gone, and replaced by how much Cal had thought about this, and wanted it. Jerked off to the thought of it, even. Cal's fingers slid back into Loki's hair as the kiss deepened and heated up, and Cal pressed his leg down between Loki's. Suggestive wasn't a problem, as long as he felt in control of what was going on.
Loki made a small sound as he kissed Cal back. His hands slid up under shirt, fingers fanning across his lower back. He was happy to leave Cal in control.
* * *
The bed felt pretty empty when Loki slipped into the bathroom to clean up, but Cal couldn't exactly blame him. Sticky underwear wasn't exactly pleasant. Cal's own arousal buzzed down to something less urgent as he waited for Loki to come back out. Shouldn't he be feeling a lot more awkward now? He sat up on the bed, tugging his shirt back down, and ran a hand through his hair, listening to the sound of running water next door.
He really didn't feel all that awkward. Mostly he just wanted Loki to come back, and to tangle back with him. Maybe kiss some more. This felt nothing like what he'd been afraid of, and he felt nothing like what he'd felt coming out of Betsy's room. Loki had let him keep control throughout, and hadn't pushed against the lines Cal had drawn. Cal's emotions were a warm mess of elation, gratitude, and humility just now, and because it was Loki, because Cal could, he let them shine through his walls just a little.
The luck of this happening in Loki's room is he was able to grab a pair of sweatpants as he disappeared to wash up. He muzzily thought that considering Cal had just pinned him to a bed and had his way with him that changing clothes in the same room shouldn't be weird. Except they'd stuck to fully clothed, so they could continue the modesty trend. Loki stripped down to his undershirt and swapped out to the sweats. Looking presentable was no longer a priority today. He dropped his clothes in the hamper as he wandered back into the room.
He felt Cal's shields soften, the shift as he let emotion slip through. It made Loki pad closer and climb immediately back into bed. He wrapped around Cal and then rolled so they were on their sides. Loki nuzzled and buried his face against Cal's shoulder.
He liked this not running away panicked scenario. "Your fault if m'useless the rest of day."
Cal wrapped around Loki right back, pulling him close and pressing a kiss on his hair. This was something he could be okay with. No, better; something he was okay with. He let another surge of humble gratitude and warmth swell past his shields, only for it to sparkle with amusement at Loki's words. "I'll happily shoulder the blame," he answered, his voice still a little rougher than it normally was, and he cleared his throat mechanically.
One day if Cal was interested Loki was 100% returning this favor of brain melting. Loki had ideas now. But Cal seemed more comfortable being the bestower of orgasms and stopping at that limit for now. Loki got it. This was a surprise bonus feature, not the expected outcome. Loki clasped the hem of Cal's shirt, giving him something else to tangle against, the backs of fingers settled against Cal's skin. Carefully, Loki let his own shields drop a fraction, spilling a soft, warm fuzziness.
It thrummed with fondness. And satisfaction. And this undercurrent that Loki tried to close off, like a puzzle piece fitting into an empty space.
The warm thrum of Loki's emotions complemented Cal's so nicely, and that settled gradually into something Cal had never really considered, since he'd never considered purposefully opening his walls a crack, never mind with someone who could feel his emotions, and do the same. But Loki's affectionate satisfaction only amplified Cal's own happiness and affection, and their emotions fed off of each other, growing into something bigger, stronger, deeper, and warmer. "...wow," Cal murmured, his eyes a little wide.
Loki laughed warmly. "Oh. That. Yes." This was different than one-sided feedback, but Loki remembered when he first came to school and his walls were much shabbier. The first time snogging Shaun, getting swirled up in Shaun's reactions as well as his own. Imagine letting that happen intentionally. "When people describe mind altering substances, I hope it's half this good. I like it here."
"Who the fuck needs drugs," Cal stated, a little shakily. Fuck, he needed to kiss Loki while they were like this, feel what that felt like for, well, both of them. He brushed his lips against Loki's, a light caress, then licked his friend's lips softly and shivered from the feedback. The union of those sensations and their emotions made him want to climb into Loki and never leave, for all that that desire was completely irrational.
Loki gasped softly. "Ah--careful.” Unless Cal really wanted to know how much Loki want to jump his bones, licking was only going to amplify the urge. “Unless you’re willing to fall down this rabbit hole.” Loki tipped his head and nipped softly at the corner of Cal’s jaw.
Shit, Cal wanted Loki so much right now, lust spiraling into their increasing loop, nearly enough to make him forget everything else and give in. Nearly. Breathing hard, he closed his eyes, forehead against Loki's, and worked on building his shields back up. The feedback loop faded, and Cal was left only with his own feelings. "Did you know... it would feel like that?"
Loki felt the walls close again and he pressed his lips against Cal's throat, taking a deep breath before answering. "Not quite that," Loki admitted. "I've received and projected, but never with the other person amplifying back."
Cal swallowed as Loki's lips pressed against his neck, and it took an effort not to catch them in a heated kiss, fueled by the maddening arousal left behind by the feedback loop. "Maybe..." His voice was a little tight, and he was under no illusion that he could manage to sound natural right then. It just wasn't happening. "Give me a minute?"
Like the bastard he was, Loki licked over Cal's pulse before he acquiesced. Then he dutifully rolled back and gave Cal some space. "Shall we start contemplating glaciers?"
Cal's hands tightened on Loki at that lick, but he managed to let go when Loki pulled away. "Asshole," Cal muttered affectionately, still audibly (and, honestly, visibly) shaken by the experience. He wiped his hands over his face, adjusted his pants, then took Loki at his word. "Can you pronounce the name of that Icelandic one with the volcano?"
"Eyjafjallajökull?" Loki asked, pronouncing it perfectly. "Of course, can't everyone?" He fought not to squirm as Cal adjusted. Oh how he wanted to help with that.
"Eyjafja... Say it again?" Cal needed to think of something that didn't involve his lips on Loki's skin, and trying to pronounce that name would hopefully do the trick. He lay on his back, pillowed a hand under his head, and stared up at Loki's ceiling.
Loki repeated the name. He curled back on his side, tucking his face against a pillow.
"Eyafjaljokull." Not too terrible, but even Cal could hear he'd messed it up some. "Eyafjaljokull. Eyafjalajokull?"
"Eyjafjallajökull," Loki repeated, with a minute correction. He buried most of his face against the pillow. Their lives were ridiculous.
"Eyafjalajokull," Cal echoed, still failing to get it quite right - but trying very hard. Catching movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned his head to look at Loki facepillow. And chuckled. "Hey, you brought up glaciers."
Loki waved a hand at him. “Didn’t realize I’d start giving language lessons. You want old Norse next?”
Cal turned fully to his side and reached for one of Loki's hands. "How about some Asgardian?"
"You're a ridiculous human being," Loki said in his mother-tongue. He twined his fingers with Cal's and then scooted over, curling back up along Cal's side.
Cal tried to hide the hint of tension when Loki came closer, and relaxed after a beat. "What does that mean?" he asked, nuzzling Loki's hair.
“It was a term of affection,” Loki said, in a tone that suggested Cal should be dubious.
Given that tone, Cal smiled a little. "So you just insulted me."
"Affectionately."
"Well, what did you call me exactly?" Cal prodded. And then, with a smile, "Affectionately. I wanna learn."
“Ridiculous,” Loki told him, and then he repeated the word. He sank into a sprawl, ready to switch gears into world’s laziest language lesson.
"Ridiculous," Cal repeated, in an admittedly terrible accent. But he was doing his best, and pretending not to be frustrated by the fact that he should be able to speak it just from being around Loki. He was familiar with ignoring that frustration, after all, not just from his classes in general, but from learning German and ASL in particular. "That is a very affectionate insult. Did something get lost in translation?"
Loki squeezed Cal’s hand. “Pardon me if my claws are in. I’m feeling amiable.”
Cal stroked the back of Loki's hand with his thumb, a half smile playing on his lips. "Wonder why." He sobered up. "Will you teach me some Asgardian, though? For real? I mean, not necessarily right now, but..."
Loki looked down at their intertwined hands, suddenly glad they’d thrown their shields back up. The idea of Cal learning more from his home, the idea of both Cal and home. “Of course. You should come visit this summer.”
Cal frowned a little as he considered the ramifications of the offer, but he remained relaxed against Loki. "I'm... not sure I could blink there and back within a day."
And he wasn't sure how he felt at the thought of spending that kind of time so very, very far away from Clint and Caleb. Sure, it would be challenging, but Cal didn't trust himself not to freak out.
“You could start the journey conventionally. Or we could bring Blink with or one of the others. I’m not sure how far Kurt can travel?”
"I don't know," Cal said with a shake of his head. He'd never even talked to the guy. "But... yeah. Maybe Clarice'd be up for it."
“Something to consider,” Loki said softly. He went back to focusing his efforts on snuggling.
"I will," Cal said, his voice full of quiet earnestness. He really did mean that, which shook him a little. Later, he could consider it later, especially when Loki snuggled in close, bringing him back to the physicality of the moment. He pulled his hand out of Loki's to stroke his hair back from his face and asked, just as quietly, eyes catching his friend's, "Cool if I kiss you again?"
That earned a smile. “Yeah.”
Cal's lips ticked up into an echoing smile, full of something very close to wonder, and instead of kissing Loki straight away, he shifted his hand to trace the shape of that smile with his thumb, and only then kissed him. Soft, tender, sensual, and still so very, very grateful both that he could have moments like this again - and knew enough to appreciate them more, now - and more specifically to Loki, for Loki.
Fleetingly Loki thought Cal had discovered an effective way to shut Loki up. If he was going to keep being so sweet about it, Loki was helpless to do more than stay open, meeting that kiss and slowly taking what Cal wanted to share. His head was spinning. It was difficult being good, but he could sink into sweet if it meant he wouldn’t scare Cal off.
Sweet was exactly where Cal wanted to stay, in that in-between of low-banked arousal and sensual wonder that he could not get enough of. Safe behind his walls, and yet definitely in the moment with Loki, sharing every sensation in this wordless dialogue of lips, tongues, hands... and the occasional graze of teeth.
Loki sighed softly against Cal’s lips. He hooked his foot around Cal’s ankle as he wriggled closer.
Cal wanted to keep doing this for hours, but after some very long, very nice minutes, he forced himself to stop. Those kisses tapered off slowly, softly, and eventually, he said, "Abs is probably dying for a walk."
Loki nuzzled Cal’s shoulder. “Duty calls then.” He blinked and then decided to ignore the unintentional pun. Loki pressed a kiss to Cal’s collarbone then rolled away. “I free you.”
Cal winced a little at the pun, but kept a hand on Loki when he rolled away. Cal leaned up on an elbow, looking over at his friend. "You could come with. If you want a run."
Unsurprisingly, Cal walking Abs absolutely involved him shifting, more often than not.
Loki stretched. “I am so lazy right now. I can meet back up for dinner? I feel like I have a date with a windowsill before you see me running.”
Cal smiled, reluctantly pulling their hand back. "Sure. Text me when you feel like moving again." He moved to grab his sneakers and pull them back on, wondering if he should kiss Loki again before he went. Don't make it weird now.
Loki solved Cal’s debate. Since he was the one that brought up shifting, Loki stretched languidly and then turned into a cat. “Get the door for me,” he said, jumping off the bed. He twined his way along Cal’s ankles on his way.
Cal more or less expected the twine, and managed not to trip as he dutifully walked over to open the door for Loki. He glanced inside at the messed up bed, then followed the cat out of the room, closing the door behind them both.
Cal walked out of Betsy's room, intent on heading straight back to his, grabbing Abs, and blinking off somewhere. The island Clint, Caleb and he went to sometimes, maybe. That was always a good place to clear his head. And his head needed clearing, after the training session he'd just had with Betsy.
He'd made progress, been keeping her out longer, but this last time, his defenses had crumbled within seconds. And he hated not knowing what exactly she stumbled across inside his mind, almost as much as he would hate to know just what she knew. Plausible deniability. That was a thing.
But why was he so fucking useless at this?
His feet slowed, almost of their own volition, before he reached his own door, and before he could examine why, he was knocking on Loki's.
After a second Loki swung the door open. He was dressed for the day in a flowing black and green tunic top over loose trousers. His hair was braided in a series of sporadic, thin black braids, clipped on top of his head as if he’d gotten bored and started braiding with no intention of calling this a style for the day. Were it anyone other than Cal on the other side of the door he would have made them wait the extra minutes for him to put his hair back into presentable shape. But it was Cal, and Cal got to see him as he was.
Loki took one look at his friend’s body language and stepped back for him to come inside. He reached out a hand. “Hey.”
"Hey," Cal said, realizing what he'd wanted when Loki held his hand out. Cal had expected to shift - panther, probably - and wind around Loki's legs, but here he was, stepping inside and threading his fingers with Loki's as if it was the easiest thing in the world. He let his friend close the door, then wrapped his other arm around Loki in a warm, necessary hug.
Loki slipped his hand free and hugged him back. He rubbed a circle between Cal’s shoulder blades.
Cal's shoulders hunched, as if trying to make himself shorter, and he wrapped his second arm around Loki, so thankful that his friend was simply hugging him, no questions asked. He let himself focus on the slide of Loki's hand on his back, let that touch help calm seep back into him. He could relax, around Loki. "Thank you," he said, unsure how much time had passed since he'd walked in. A minute, two, ten?
“Always,” Loki said simply. “Cocoa? Soda? Blanket? Plushie?”
"Bed?" Cal answered hopefully, reluctant to loosen the embrace for now. He would, of course, so they could move, but he didn't feel like doing anything that meant moving out of Loki's space, not unless Loki wanted him to.
Loki didn’t bother disentangling. He swung them around like a dance and then sat on the edge of the bed. He finally let go enough to scoot back onto the nest of pillows and then opened his arms.
Cal crawled into his arms without giving it a second thought, settling against Loki and tangling a leg with his. He was still reeling a little too much to even consider whether there was anything left about this that felt weird, while neither of them were shifted. Cal settled his head on his friend's shoulder and breathed in deeply. "Training with Betsy," he said, probably because Loki hadn't asked.
Loki stroked along his back and down his shoulder and arm, fingers tracing in soothing patterns. “You are braver than the warriors of Asgard,” Loki murmured.
When Cal mentioned his psi training in the past Loki had voiced his ‘better you than me’ opinion. As much as he’d love to experiment with the protection features of his powers, he did not want to let Betsy Braddock into his head. Though she was welcome to step on him any day. Er. Reasons Betsy was never allowed in his head.
"I hate thinking of what she might get from my head," Cal muttered. He didn't feel brave. Just unsteady, pissed, vulnerable, needy. So fucking needy; look at him now. What was brave about that?
“Braddock strikes me as someone who’s seen some shit. Considering her current state.” Loki brushed his lips lightly across the top of Cal’s head. “You don’t actively think of eating babies, do you?”
Cal frowned at Loki's words, burrowing a little closer after that brush against his hair. "It's not... I don't think she'll judge me. I just - I don't like..." Tension was still present in his body, and growing as he tried to put it into words. Words he could manage to get out, anyway. "I don't share easily. And I judge me." Including his terrible grammar. Whatever.
Loki’s fingers slid along Cal’s arm. “I get it,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to let anyone in here either. Hopefully by using her now, you can keep others out later.”
Loki never judged him either. Loki never pushed either. Cal was so thankful for that. For the safety he felt with his friend. Still, he had to ask, because the question was on his mind, too. "Do you think I'm using her?"
Hindsight, Loki realized that was bad phrasing for “I mean, it’s consensual usefulness. She is happy to help you, right?”
"I don't know that happy's got anything to do with it," Cal admitted, and shifted his head, words now muffled by Loki's shoulder. "But I'd been kind of avoiding her since Yorkland." And now he was back, and asking for a huge favor, and Betsy barely blinked and just helped him out.
“Oh?” More hair petting, more soft circles tracing along his shoulder.
Cal nosed at Loki's shoulder, silent for a beat. "We hooked up. In Yorkland. Thinking about it makes me freak the fuck out." Cal's voice was a little tight by the end of that sentence, and he felt so on edge, Loki's petting now adding to his tension instead of decreasing it.
Loki’s fingers slowed, resting lightly on Cal’s arm. “Want to think about something else right now? We can revisit if you want when you’re not raw from other Betsy related stuff. Be here now. Yorkland later.”
Cal grew silent for a few long seconds, then nosed at Loki's shoulder again. "How are you doing, anyway?" Cal asked, which was a yes, and he leaned his head back enough to look at his friend. "I sort of..." There was a hint of a smile on his lips. "Invited myself into your bed without even asking."
“I so want to make a lewd joke but you’re too squishy right now to tease hard.” Loki hugged him. “I was being lazy. Company is very welcome. I couldn’t decide between getting online, reading, or skulking around the attic so a wild Cal appearing is welcome.”
"I don't feel so wild," Cal remarked with a quick grimace. He propped his head up on his hand, elbow bent on a pillow. "What are you reading right now?"
“Middlegame.” He pulled the book over. “Thank the stars I don’t have a twin. This book makes me pretty sure I’d break the world somehow with a double.”
"Is it good? It's been on my list for a while." Cal was rubbing his thumb and forefinger over the fabric of Loki's tunic, as if sensory distraction might help him settle down, too.
“Pretty darn cool. I’ll slide it to you when I’m done.” Loki wriggled, more perfectly slotting their limbs together in pile formation.
"Thanks." Cal's gaze flicked up to Loki's hair, and his lips twisted a little. "New style?"
Loki grumbled and reached up to undo the clip. “I was bored. You caught me in the act.” He began smoothing one of the braids loose.
"Hey, it's a good look on you," Cal replied, fighting his battle at holding back his half smile. "Original. I really do have awesome timing."
Loki poked Cal in the side.
Cal laughed, batting Loki's hand away. "What can I say, man. Mid-braid is pretty avant-garde shit."
“If you’re mean to me I’ll make you undo them,” Loki threatened with a pout.
"Terrifying prospect," Cal stated with a nod, then smirked. "For you, I mean. I know jack shit about how to handle long hair."
Loki eyed him and then picked up Cal’s hand. He lifted it to the end of one of the thin braids. Loki’s hair was longer than when he’d first started at school. He’d been trimming it, but letting it grow out steadily. “It’s not rocket science. You just unravel it. Start from the bottom, work your way up.”
"Wait, how have I been mean to you?" Cal let out the token protest, ran his hand down the braid, then sat up, unpretzeling them so he could get both of his hands on Loki's hair. Because why the fuck not? It felt a little weird to be doing something so girly, but he'd been thinking about gender roles some, lately. How caught up he was in some stuff that Loki had managed to just... discard. Cal wanted 'girly' to not even be a thing anymore. "Let me know if I pull your hair," he stated, as he picked up one braid to get started.
“I trust you,” Loki said fondly. “And you’d have to pull pretty hard for me to care.” He smiled smugly, an expression quite similar to when he was a cat stretching back to be pet.
"I care," Cal pointed out in return. "So let me know if I do." He felt a little clumsy as he unraveled the first braid, separating strands to unwind them. Then he raked his fingers through the freed hair a couple of times before moving on to the next braid.
“But this is nice,” Loki protested softly. “No complaints.”
"Mkay," Cal murmured, letting himself focus solely on his task. It was nice. Not just the rhythmic motions of separating strands, of smoothing out hair, but also just doing this for Loki. Being of use. Cal worked happily, letting the repetitiveness of the task layer basic satisfaction over the anxiety his latest training session had triggered in him. Eventually, he was done, but he kept carding his fingers through Loki's hair, doing his best to work out tangles as smoothly and painlessly as possible, but otherwise mostly just petting him.
Loki felt Cal relax and let satisfaction sink through his limbs. He expected the motion would soothe him, as long as touch was okay today. That was half the reason Loki’s hair ended in the wild Medusa tangle of braids. Loki sighed contently and kept snuggling.
"Where's your brush?" Cal asked quietly, for no other reason than it felt like a quiet moment.
“Desk,” Loki answered. He let Cal go free.
Cal didn't go anywhere; he just straightened up enough to have line of sight, then threw a javelin of pink energy at the brush, and it fell into his hand. "I really don't know what I'm doing with this," he warned Loki, and started brushing his hair, hoping he wouldn't snag the brush on a tangle and pull too hard. Which meant, of course, that he was extremely cautious as he ran the brush through Loki's hair.
Loki hummed happily. “Have I ever mentioned I adore you? Very much. Right now, you are my favorite.”
Cal's gaze slid from Loki's hair to his smiling face. Cal himself was smiling a bit as he answered, "I love you too, man."
Loki fluttered his fingers and an illusion of glitter and green hearts showered down around them.
Cal chuckled, and tugged on Loki's hair mock-chidingly. "Fuck you, man. Please tell me that was illusion and not reality bending." The hearts were pretty obvious, but the glitter? Could go either way.
Loki made a soft sound and squeezed Cal’s arm. “It’s my room. As if I’d throw glitter when I don’t have to.”
Sure enough, the glitter was fading along with the hearts, but Cal was a little distracted by the noise Loki had just made. He swallowed, and resumed brushing his hair. "That's a very good point," he answered, a little belatedly.
“If I were a little more theatrical I suppose I could use this to make my own movies. But effort.”
"You could make a killing at live performance, too," Cal remarked.
“If I’m ever disinherited I’ll start a global tour,” Loki said with a chuckle.
Cal's first thought shouldn't have been, But then you'll be gone for so long. This was a hypothetical, hopefully distant future. Life would separate them before then. Loki would graduate and likely go back to Asgard. Cal would... fuck if he knew what he would do. "When are you graduating, anyway?"
Loki made a face. “I don’t know. Two years? Year and a half? The education system is a bit different and it depends on which I stick to. Do you have a timeline?”
"Should happen next year," Cal replied, glad to focus on the brushing again, so he wouldn't tense up too much. "Not that I have a clue what to do next." He patted Loki's shoulder. "Come on, roll over so I can get to the rest of your hair."
Loki complied, moving how Cal directed. “They’re building graduate housing. If you’re interested in international travel there will be a home for you in Asgard as long as I belong there.”
"I don't know what Caleb and Clint will wanna do," Cal admitted, after a beat. He didn't even know if they would want to stick together.
“In this hypothetical future, any home on offer to you will be big enough for Caleb and Clint. There comes a point where it’s ludicrous for the states to have the only mutant sanctuary and school.”
"It feels way too hypothetical right now," Cal stated. He started to rake his free hand through Loki's hair in the wake of the brush, just because the feel of it was nice. "All of it. Having to make life decisions."
“There’s still time.” Loki wriggled and stretched out languorously. “Also, if one decision doesn’t pan out, you make another. We aren’t trapped in one shape. So fuck being trapped to one path.” Said the prince of Asgard, full of lofty responsibilities.
"I mean, I guess I could find some remote learning college degree thing, and just stick around in graduate housing," Cal thought out loud. It was the closest to not making a decision he could get.
“Says the boy that can teleport. You can go to school anywhere you want.” Loki smiled.
"Says the boy who really doesn't want to think about doing anything like that," Cal replied quietly.
Loki waved his fingers and cast an illusion of a black squirrel darting across his desk and out the window, open for that moment. “Oh look, a squirrel.”
Cal chuckled again, and tugged on Loki's hair. "You're silly."
Loki rolled and tangled against Cal. He buried his face against his friend's shoulder. “Mm. Maybe.”
Cal let Loki bring him back down to the bed, and while he set the brush down on the bedside table, he kept his other hand in Loki's hair, all smooth and lustrous from just being brushed. "Maybe? Exhibit A: hearts and glitter. Exhibit B: that fucking squirrel," he pointed out, laughter and playful teasing woven into his voice in equal measures.
“Might just be a creative genius,” Loki countered. He snuggled and wrapped and arm around Cal.
Cal hummed, and petted Loki's hair. "A silly one," he said, his voice a little too quiet and content to quite pull off teasing, but the affection remained.
“Yes, yes.” Loki’s hand settled on Cal’s hip, thumb tracing idly. Cal seemed relaxed enough now that he didn’t need to tip-toe around him.
That touch was actually everything but relaxing, it turned out, but Cal did his best to remain outwardly relaxed, even as a little zing of arousal shot through him. He scratched gently at Loki's scalp, and focused on keeping his breathing even. Of course he had thought about this, since Loki's offer a while back. I volunteer as tribute, Cal was pretty sure had been his exact words. But did he really want to do this? Cal's dick was all for it. But he was so worried it would screw things up between them somehow. And Loki had grown to mean so much to Cal. Was it a risk worth taking?
Loki nuzzled his shoulder again. His powers of observation were dwindling in the face of this much hair petting. Curling up against Cal was as good as curling in a warm patch of sun. Maybe he should be more conscientious of what a hand grasping a hip might mean, but he was one to take opportunities when presented. Cal let him close. He liked being close.
Cal wrapped his other arm around Loki, hand landing on his shoulder. He stroked a touch there, feeling his willpower crumbling as Loki nuzzled his shoulder. Cal shifted his arm, hand ending up in Loki's hair on the side of his face, using it to tilt it back. "Hey..." There were things Cal wanted to say, but he was having trouble getting the words out. Was he about to fuck up? He wanted so badly to trust Loki that things wouldn't get weird.
Loki finally clued in to the intimacy factor when Cal tipped his face up. Unlike Cal, the moment Loki sensed danger he wanted to press into it. He took a soft breath, keeping his expression open. “Hey,” he said back gently. He leaned into Cal’s touch.
Loki wasn't helping. At all. Cal's fingers curled through his hair, stretched out again in another caress. "I really don't want to fuck us up," he admitted, his inner conflict playing in his eyes.
“Then stop being afraid,” Loki countered. He was ready to play with fire. Loki slid his hand up along Cal’s side. “It’s only bad if you're afraid of me after.” Loki smiled, a hint of amusement and challenge. “If you don’t like it I won’t be offended. Promise.”
"I know you won't," Cal answered, completely genuinely. He trusted Loki. But if feelings got involved... "Promise I won't lose you."
“You are stuck with me, Cal Rankin.” Loki tugged his shirt, pulling him closer.
"Promise me," Cal insisted, moving against the tug.
A flash of fear finally pierced Loki’s persistence. Too many vague dreams filled with loss.
He couldn’t make this promise to Cal. Through no fault of hormones or scorned hearts. There was a greater promise he could not make. It terrified him as much as it electrified him.
“I will do everything in my power to ensure you never lose me.” Said with solidity, and a far cry from sexy banter. No surprise that kissing Cal would start with desperation long before flirtation. “And that’s plenty of power,” he added. “So we can get those friends forever lockets engraved as soon as you’re done kissing me.”
Cal's heart, which was already beating double time, tripped up at hearing those words. It was one thing to be this close to doing it, and another one to hear them. Kissing Loki. Why, how did those words make it so much more real than it had been until now? "See?" Cal pointed out softly, and smoothed his fingers through Loki's hair, Cal's other hand cupping the back of his head. "Silly."
But then Cal lifted his head off the pillow, leaning up to brush his lips against Loki's. Tentative, at first, half expecting himself to suddenly freak the fuck out.
Loki kissed him back softly. For once he was happy to be silenced.
Nerves fluttered inside Cal, along with something else. He'd half expected it to be weird, knowing that he was kissing a guy, but really, he was kissing Loki, and he'd been wanting to for long enough that the guy thing wasn't even a thing, in the end. That first kiss merged into another, steadier, this time, but still only a press of lips to lips.
Loki slid his hand along Cal’s side, around to the small of his back. His lips parted, brushing over Cal’s, changing the angle of how they met.
Cal took that invitation for a first, brief slide of his tongue past Loki's lips, another shot of arousal delivered straight to his bloodstream. But there was still an undercurrent of unease in him, from being on his back, for some reason. So he shifted his hands onto Loki's waist and shoulder, broke the kiss, and rolled them so their positions were reversed. "This okay?"
Loki wriggled, making himself comfortable below Cal, and tangling their legs in a suggestive fashion. “Okay,” he confirmed. He was grateful that today’s outfit was all loose, flowing cotton. No restriction, though also no buffer if Cal kept manhandling him.
"Okay," Cal echoed, and kissed Loki again. This time, the tentativeness was gone, and replaced by how much Cal had thought about this, and wanted it. Jerked off to the thought of it, even. Cal's fingers slid back into Loki's hair as the kiss deepened and heated up, and Cal pressed his leg down between Loki's. Suggestive wasn't a problem, as long as he felt in control of what was going on.
Loki made a small sound as he kissed Cal back. His hands slid up under shirt, fingers fanning across his lower back. He was happy to leave Cal in control.
The bed felt pretty empty when Loki slipped into the bathroom to clean up, but Cal couldn't exactly blame him. Sticky underwear wasn't exactly pleasant. Cal's own arousal buzzed down to something less urgent as he waited for Loki to come back out. Shouldn't he be feeling a lot more awkward now? He sat up on the bed, tugging his shirt back down, and ran a hand through his hair, listening to the sound of running water next door.
He really didn't feel all that awkward. Mostly he just wanted Loki to come back, and to tangle back with him. Maybe kiss some more. This felt nothing like what he'd been afraid of, and he felt nothing like what he'd felt coming out of Betsy's room. Loki had let him keep control throughout, and hadn't pushed against the lines Cal had drawn. Cal's emotions were a warm mess of elation, gratitude, and humility just now, and because it was Loki, because Cal could, he let them shine through his walls just a little.
The luck of this happening in Loki's room is he was able to grab a pair of sweatpants as he disappeared to wash up. He muzzily thought that considering Cal had just pinned him to a bed and had his way with him that changing clothes in the same room shouldn't be weird. Except they'd stuck to fully clothed, so they could continue the modesty trend. Loki stripped down to his undershirt and swapped out to the sweats. Looking presentable was no longer a priority today. He dropped his clothes in the hamper as he wandered back into the room.
He felt Cal's shields soften, the shift as he let emotion slip through. It made Loki pad closer and climb immediately back into bed. He wrapped around Cal and then rolled so they were on their sides. Loki nuzzled and buried his face against Cal's shoulder.
He liked this not running away panicked scenario. "Your fault if m'useless the rest of day."
Cal wrapped around Loki right back, pulling him close and pressing a kiss on his hair. This was something he could be okay with. No, better; something he was okay with. He let another surge of humble gratitude and warmth swell past his shields, only for it to sparkle with amusement at Loki's words. "I'll happily shoulder the blame," he answered, his voice still a little rougher than it normally was, and he cleared his throat mechanically.
One day if Cal was interested Loki was 100% returning this favor of brain melting. Loki had ideas now. But Cal seemed more comfortable being the bestower of orgasms and stopping at that limit for now. Loki got it. This was a surprise bonus feature, not the expected outcome. Loki clasped the hem of Cal's shirt, giving him something else to tangle against, the backs of fingers settled against Cal's skin. Carefully, Loki let his own shields drop a fraction, spilling a soft, warm fuzziness.
It thrummed with fondness. And satisfaction. And this undercurrent that Loki tried to close off, like a puzzle piece fitting into an empty space.
The warm thrum of Loki's emotions complemented Cal's so nicely, and that settled gradually into something Cal had never really considered, since he'd never considered purposefully opening his walls a crack, never mind with someone who could feel his emotions, and do the same. But Loki's affectionate satisfaction only amplified Cal's own happiness and affection, and their emotions fed off of each other, growing into something bigger, stronger, deeper, and warmer. "...wow," Cal murmured, his eyes a little wide.
Loki laughed warmly. "Oh. That. Yes." This was different than one-sided feedback, but Loki remembered when he first came to school and his walls were much shabbier. The first time snogging Shaun, getting swirled up in Shaun's reactions as well as his own. Imagine letting that happen intentionally. "When people describe mind altering substances, I hope it's half this good. I like it here."
"Who the fuck needs drugs," Cal stated, a little shakily. Fuck, he needed to kiss Loki while they were like this, feel what that felt like for, well, both of them. He brushed his lips against Loki's, a light caress, then licked his friend's lips softly and shivered from the feedback. The union of those sensations and their emotions made him want to climb into Loki and never leave, for all that that desire was completely irrational.
Loki gasped softly. "Ah--careful.” Unless Cal really wanted to know how much Loki want to jump his bones, licking was only going to amplify the urge. “Unless you’re willing to fall down this rabbit hole.” Loki tipped his head and nipped softly at the corner of Cal’s jaw.
Shit, Cal wanted Loki so much right now, lust spiraling into their increasing loop, nearly enough to make him forget everything else and give in. Nearly. Breathing hard, he closed his eyes, forehead against Loki's, and worked on building his shields back up. The feedback loop faded, and Cal was left only with his own feelings. "Did you know... it would feel like that?"
Loki felt the walls close again and he pressed his lips against Cal's throat, taking a deep breath before answering. "Not quite that," Loki admitted. "I've received and projected, but never with the other person amplifying back."
Cal swallowed as Loki's lips pressed against his neck, and it took an effort not to catch them in a heated kiss, fueled by the maddening arousal left behind by the feedback loop. "Maybe..." His voice was a little tight, and he was under no illusion that he could manage to sound natural right then. It just wasn't happening. "Give me a minute?"
Like the bastard he was, Loki licked over Cal's pulse before he acquiesced. Then he dutifully rolled back and gave Cal some space. "Shall we start contemplating glaciers?"
Cal's hands tightened on Loki at that lick, but he managed to let go when Loki pulled away. "Asshole," Cal muttered affectionately, still audibly (and, honestly, visibly) shaken by the experience. He wiped his hands over his face, adjusted his pants, then took Loki at his word. "Can you pronounce the name of that Icelandic one with the volcano?"
"Eyjafjallajökull?" Loki asked, pronouncing it perfectly. "Of course, can't everyone?" He fought not to squirm as Cal adjusted. Oh how he wanted to help with that.
"Eyjafja... Say it again?" Cal needed to think of something that didn't involve his lips on Loki's skin, and trying to pronounce that name would hopefully do the trick. He lay on his back, pillowed a hand under his head, and stared up at Loki's ceiling.
Loki repeated the name. He curled back on his side, tucking his face against a pillow.
"Eyafjaljokull." Not too terrible, but even Cal could hear he'd messed it up some. "Eyafjaljokull. Eyafjalajokull?"
"Eyjafjallajökull," Loki repeated, with a minute correction. He buried most of his face against the pillow. Their lives were ridiculous.
"Eyafjalajokull," Cal echoed, still failing to get it quite right - but trying very hard. Catching movement out of the corner of his eye, he turned his head to look at Loki facepillow. And chuckled. "Hey, you brought up glaciers."
Loki waved a hand at him. “Didn’t realize I’d start giving language lessons. You want old Norse next?”
Cal turned fully to his side and reached for one of Loki's hands. "How about some Asgardian?"
"You're a ridiculous human being," Loki said in his mother-tongue. He twined his fingers with Cal's and then scooted over, curling back up along Cal's side.
Cal tried to hide the hint of tension when Loki came closer, and relaxed after a beat. "What does that mean?" he asked, nuzzling Loki's hair.
“It was a term of affection,” Loki said, in a tone that suggested Cal should be dubious.
Given that tone, Cal smiled a little. "So you just insulted me."
"Affectionately."
"Well, what did you call me exactly?" Cal prodded. And then, with a smile, "Affectionately. I wanna learn."
“Ridiculous,” Loki told him, and then he repeated the word. He sank into a sprawl, ready to switch gears into world’s laziest language lesson.
"Ridiculous," Cal repeated, in an admittedly terrible accent. But he was doing his best, and pretending not to be frustrated by the fact that he should be able to speak it just from being around Loki. He was familiar with ignoring that frustration, after all, not just from his classes in general, but from learning German and ASL in particular. "That is a very affectionate insult. Did something get lost in translation?"
Loki squeezed Cal’s hand. “Pardon me if my claws are in. I’m feeling amiable.”
Cal stroked the back of Loki's hand with his thumb, a half smile playing on his lips. "Wonder why." He sobered up. "Will you teach me some Asgardian, though? For real? I mean, not necessarily right now, but..."
Loki looked down at their intertwined hands, suddenly glad they’d thrown their shields back up. The idea of Cal learning more from his home, the idea of both Cal and home. “Of course. You should come visit this summer.”
Cal frowned a little as he considered the ramifications of the offer, but he remained relaxed against Loki. "I'm... not sure I could blink there and back within a day."
And he wasn't sure how he felt at the thought of spending that kind of time so very, very far away from Clint and Caleb. Sure, it would be challenging, but Cal didn't trust himself not to freak out.
“You could start the journey conventionally. Or we could bring Blink with or one of the others. I’m not sure how far Kurt can travel?”
"I don't know," Cal said with a shake of his head. He'd never even talked to the guy. "But... yeah. Maybe Clarice'd be up for it."
“Something to consider,” Loki said softly. He went back to focusing his efforts on snuggling.
"I will," Cal said, his voice full of quiet earnestness. He really did mean that, which shook him a little. Later, he could consider it later, especially when Loki snuggled in close, bringing him back to the physicality of the moment. He pulled his hand out of Loki's to stroke his hair back from his face and asked, just as quietly, eyes catching his friend's, "Cool if I kiss you again?"
That earned a smile. “Yeah.”
Cal's lips ticked up into an echoing smile, full of something very close to wonder, and instead of kissing Loki straight away, he shifted his hand to trace the shape of that smile with his thumb, and only then kissed him. Soft, tender, sensual, and still so very, very grateful both that he could have moments like this again - and knew enough to appreciate them more, now - and more specifically to Loki, for Loki.
Fleetingly Loki thought Cal had discovered an effective way to shut Loki up. If he was going to keep being so sweet about it, Loki was helpless to do more than stay open, meeting that kiss and slowly taking what Cal wanted to share. His head was spinning. It was difficult being good, but he could sink into sweet if it meant he wouldn’t scare Cal off.
Sweet was exactly where Cal wanted to stay, in that in-between of low-banked arousal and sensual wonder that he could not get enough of. Safe behind his walls, and yet definitely in the moment with Loki, sharing every sensation in this wordless dialogue of lips, tongues, hands... and the occasional graze of teeth.
Loki sighed softly against Cal’s lips. He hooked his foot around Cal’s ankle as he wriggled closer.
Cal wanted to keep doing this for hours, but after some very long, very nice minutes, he forced himself to stop. Those kisses tapered off slowly, softly, and eventually, he said, "Abs is probably dying for a walk."
Loki nuzzled Cal’s shoulder. “Duty calls then.” He blinked and then decided to ignore the unintentional pun. Loki pressed a kiss to Cal’s collarbone then rolled away. “I free you.”
Cal winced a little at the pun, but kept a hand on Loki when he rolled away. Cal leaned up on an elbow, looking over at his friend. "You could come with. If you want a run."
Unsurprisingly, Cal walking Abs absolutely involved him shifting, more often than not.
Loki stretched. “I am so lazy right now. I can meet back up for dinner? I feel like I have a date with a windowsill before you see me running.”
Cal smiled, reluctantly pulling their hand back. "Sure. Text me when you feel like moving again." He moved to grab his sneakers and pull them back on, wondering if he should kiss Loki again before he went. Don't make it weird now.
Loki solved Cal’s debate. Since he was the one that brought up shifting, Loki stretched languidly and then turned into a cat. “Get the door for me,” he said, jumping off the bed. He twined his way along Cal’s ankles on his way.
Cal more or less expected the twine, and managed not to trip as he dutifully walked over to open the door for Loki. He glanced inside at the messed up bed, then followed the cat out of the room, closing the door behind them both.
no subject
Date: 2019-06-18 01:05 am (UTC)