Genosha Prelude: Billy and Pam
May. 28th, 2019 08:22 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ax_mainPam and Billy take a field trip, and she tries her hand at recruiting. Billy's interested for reasons she didn't expect.
Pam shook out the blanket she'd brought along, and spread it over a patch of sand she'd already checked for ants, lizards, and assorted other creepy crawlies, feeling slightly apprehensive. Not from the landscape - the stretch of desert she'd chosen from an aerial photograph had no access roads, so they weren't likely to be disturbed - but because she wasn't at all sure how Billy was going to respond when she asked him what she'd come to ask him.
After all, it wasn't every day you asked someone if they wanted to help you overthrow a fucked up government.
"So, what do you think?" she asked as she plopped down on the blanket. After all, they weren't going until the next day. Plenty of time to work her way up to it, even if she still had to talk to a few more people. This was the one she really cared about.
Billy seated himself beside her, keeping about a hand's breadth of space between them. Easy enough for him to reach over and confirm that Pam was still solid. Or for her to do the same by touching him.
"Good choice," he said softly. "There's a lot more life around this time." More plants, little critters, and stuff. Less empty sand.
"I like the mountain-things in the background," Pam admitted. She stretched out her legs and looked out at them. "I grew up with mountains in the background. Kinda seems weird without them there, still."
Billy followed her gaze. "Did you ever climb them? I think I might try one day."
"Nah. I was all of 12. Could be kind of cool, though." She smirked over at him. "You ever decide to, give me a yell. Never sucks to have a teleporter along."
Billy chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind. It's probably the only way we'll get Goody and Alex up there with us anyway."
Pam laughed. "Nah, Alex'd go - I mean, he'd bitch the whole way, but he'd go. He's got a thing for rocks." She smirked. "Gotta admit, I can't see Goody climbing without some kind of bribe."
"He'd come along to make me happy." Billy's smile widened. "And then he'd remind me that he was doing it just for me every step."
"Yeah, that sounds about right." Pam shook her head, still smiling, just at the idea, then looked over at Billy, her expression growing more serious. "How would he feel about you going on a mission?"
"You're not talking about X-Force, I guess." Billy shifted his weight, tensing up. "How about you ask how I feel about it first? Then we'll talk about Goodnight."
Pam smiled crookedly. "Well, that's kind of what I was going for anyway. I just couldn't figure out how to get there." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "So, the other day, Wanda went on a mission. Without the Brotherhood, which pissed off Eileen, so she called me, and -" She made a gesture with her hand to show she was skipping over parts, waved that aside, and continued with, "Anyway, she found the Boss. And Lance. And while that was happening, Pyro and Magik went off to check out Genosha, which turns out to not be the mutant paradise they show on TV commercials. They're testing all the kids for mutant abilities and if they have them, they stick them in training and brainwash them and shit. So...the boss figures we need to put a stop to that." She gave him a hopeful look. "We're going in tomorrow. I was hoping you'd come help. We could watch each others' backs. Y'know, like old times." Granted, the old times maybe hadn't ever actually happened, but whatever. She remembered them, and so did he. It counted.
Billy actually flinched at the reminder and glanced away. "Last time I tried to help you, I got you killed. Maybe... it's not the best idea?"
"That wasn't your fault," Pam reminded him. She reached over and squeezed his arm, trying hard not to start thinking about the sight of her fingers disintegrating before her eyes. It was months ago, she reminded herself - she was over it. Or not, but she was sure as hell going to fake it now. "I made that call, not you. And I'd do it again. Or do you think existing forever like that would've been some kind of fucking improvement?"
"'Where there's life, there's hope.'" Billy leaned into her touch, linked his fingers with hers. "Goody told me that one. I like it." He turned his gaze toward the mountains. "I'll go with you, Pam. To stop other kids from going through what we did."
Pam grimaced. "Yeah, that. Fuck, a whole country that's that messed up. We've gotta do something" She squeezed his hand, then looked over at him and smiled, a little. "I'm glad you're coming, though. Eileen'll be happy, too - you really impressed her when you guys rescued Alex."
"I hardly remember it," Billy admitted. "It was like being in one of the sims again. Objective and targets, and nothing else mattered."
"Yeah, I get that." Pam made a face. "There's all kinds of shit I only remember in flashes. I'm never sure if it's a bad thing or not."
"For this kind of thing? Not." Billy frowned down at the blanket. "If I'm going to watch your back, I need to be all there. And I'm just not sure if I will be. I want to help, though."
"Hey, you had my back when the Right tried to grab us," she reminded him. "Besides, the Boss is always super clear about the mission objectives; first and foremost, the Brotherhood take care of their own." She smiled. "If you're going in with us, that includes you for the duration. You're part of the team."
"That was different. Like... in the moment. Not a mission." Billy shook his head. "I guess it doesn't matter. I'll do what you need me to do. Whatever it takes to stop those inhuman bastards."
"Y'know," Pam said slowly as she (probably belatedly, she had to admit) picked up on the fact Billy might have qualms about this beyond just memory issues, "if you're not cool with it, we'll manage okay without you. I don't want you doing anything you don't want to. I just figured - I dunno. It'd be kind of fun?"
"I'll just have to talk to Goody," Billy said. "Not because I need his permission. It's a big picture thing, right? If we decide we're going to overthrow a government, not just hit one lab to get our people back, or follow along with X-Force, how welcome do you think the school will make us?"
"Yeah, okay. Point." Pam grimaced and rolled over onto her side to face him. She hadn't really considered that, though she should have. Then again, with the Boss back, they probably wouldn't have been coming back anyway. She guessed. "Guess we definitely won't be coming back, then. But hey, a whole country full of fucked up mutants. At least we won't stand out?"
"I'll have to talk to Goody," Billy repeated. "If we have to leave the school... that's not a choice I can make for him. He needs a say."
"Not arguing that," Pam confirmed. "And if he wants in, he's welcome too. He could always help Computer Girl or something."
Billy sighed and flopped onto his back, soaking in the sun. "Or we could stay out here, where it's all uncomplicated."
"Doesn't sound bad, does it?" Pam sighed and rolled onto her back, throwing her arm up to shade her eyes. "If that's what you guys decide, I get it."
"I still don't know what it is about the school," Billy admitted. "I've talked it over with the Professor so many times. No one's tried manipulating me since we got Alex back. Not that I can tell, anyway. And I'm not with X-Force now anyway. But it just doesn't seem to fit right anymore." Billy closed his eyes. "There's more to it than just not fitting in anymore. I didn't tell you... I mean, I didn't tell anyone. Except Goody, he was there. But the Professor thinks I've got more than just a memory block in my head. Like, layers of psychic conditioning to keep me functional through extraordinary application of stress." Billy's old habit of quoting exact surfaced briefly before his usual cadence took over again. "He's not sure it's going to keep working. I was never supposed to have so many experiences when I was just a bait dog for The Right. Fight, obey. No attachments, no conflicts. It probably wasn't any different at the old school. And if the walls break down, the kid I was gets to experience all the shit I've been through."
Pam frowned, not quite understanding what he meant but recognizing enough to know it wasn't anything good. "So, you're going to like, relive it all like it's happening now?" she guessed. "That's going to be seriously fucked up."
"I'm not sure I will." Billy sighed. "The Professor's not sure what could happen. If it would be more like... me remembering everything before the school, before my powers. Or more like the kid I was waking and remembering all of it. Everything... but either way, I might not be me anymore. And if that's going to be how I end up, I don't want to just be sitting at the school, turning in homework and waiting for it to happen."
"I wouldn't either." Pam closed her eyes for a minute, then rolled over onto her side once more and reached over to tug Billy onto his, her expression resolved. "Come with us," she insisted, though her eyes were more pleading than ordering, and just a little over-bright. "Because for now, at least, you're you, and...fuck. We can take out more of those fuckers than anyone on Earth. We can be exactly who they made us into, and it'll be a really fucking amazing thing." Which...okay, maybe it wasn't the most coherent pep talk ever, but she felt like she had a lump the size of Freddy sitting on her chest right now at the thought of anything causing Billy to not be Billy, and it was the best she could do. Hopefully he'd get it.
Billy reached out and gathered her close, wrapping her in a close, tight hug. He'd cried all of his tears out on Goodnight. He could take a few of Pam's, if that was what she needed.
"I'll talk to Goody," he murmured. "But go or stay, I'm still your friend, OK? I'll love you for as long as I'm still a person."
"You'll still be a person, anyway," Pam mumbled into his shoulder as she hugged him back tight, fighting tears. There wasn't any reason to cry, just because some old bald guy who didn't really know shit said something might happen. It hadn't happened yet, and it probably wouldn't, and...fuck. Billy's words pushed her over the edge, and for the first time in years, Pam cried actual, visible tears into his shoulder. Because yeah, he'd still be a person. But he wouldn't necessarily be the same one, and she loved him, too.
Pam shook out the blanket she'd brought along, and spread it over a patch of sand she'd already checked for ants, lizards, and assorted other creepy crawlies, feeling slightly apprehensive. Not from the landscape - the stretch of desert she'd chosen from an aerial photograph had no access roads, so they weren't likely to be disturbed - but because she wasn't at all sure how Billy was going to respond when she asked him what she'd come to ask him.
After all, it wasn't every day you asked someone if they wanted to help you overthrow a fucked up government.
"So, what do you think?" she asked as she plopped down on the blanket. After all, they weren't going until the next day. Plenty of time to work her way up to it, even if she still had to talk to a few more people. This was the one she really cared about.
Billy seated himself beside her, keeping about a hand's breadth of space between them. Easy enough for him to reach over and confirm that Pam was still solid. Or for her to do the same by touching him.
"Good choice," he said softly. "There's a lot more life around this time." More plants, little critters, and stuff. Less empty sand.
"I like the mountain-things in the background," Pam admitted. She stretched out her legs and looked out at them. "I grew up with mountains in the background. Kinda seems weird without them there, still."
Billy followed her gaze. "Did you ever climb them? I think I might try one day."
"Nah. I was all of 12. Could be kind of cool, though." She smirked over at him. "You ever decide to, give me a yell. Never sucks to have a teleporter along."
Billy chuckled. "I'll keep that in mind. It's probably the only way we'll get Goody and Alex up there with us anyway."
Pam laughed. "Nah, Alex'd go - I mean, he'd bitch the whole way, but he'd go. He's got a thing for rocks." She smirked. "Gotta admit, I can't see Goody climbing without some kind of bribe."
"He'd come along to make me happy." Billy's smile widened. "And then he'd remind me that he was doing it just for me every step."
"Yeah, that sounds about right." Pam shook her head, still smiling, just at the idea, then looked over at Billy, her expression growing more serious. "How would he feel about you going on a mission?"
"You're not talking about X-Force, I guess." Billy shifted his weight, tensing up. "How about you ask how I feel about it first? Then we'll talk about Goodnight."
Pam smiled crookedly. "Well, that's kind of what I was going for anyway. I just couldn't figure out how to get there." She took a deep breath and exhaled. "So, the other day, Wanda went on a mission. Without the Brotherhood, which pissed off Eileen, so she called me, and -" She made a gesture with her hand to show she was skipping over parts, waved that aside, and continued with, "Anyway, she found the Boss. And Lance. And while that was happening, Pyro and Magik went off to check out Genosha, which turns out to not be the mutant paradise they show on TV commercials. They're testing all the kids for mutant abilities and if they have them, they stick them in training and brainwash them and shit. So...the boss figures we need to put a stop to that." She gave him a hopeful look. "We're going in tomorrow. I was hoping you'd come help. We could watch each others' backs. Y'know, like old times." Granted, the old times maybe hadn't ever actually happened, but whatever. She remembered them, and so did he. It counted.
Billy actually flinched at the reminder and glanced away. "Last time I tried to help you, I got you killed. Maybe... it's not the best idea?"
"That wasn't your fault," Pam reminded him. She reached over and squeezed his arm, trying hard not to start thinking about the sight of her fingers disintegrating before her eyes. It was months ago, she reminded herself - she was over it. Or not, but she was sure as hell going to fake it now. "I made that call, not you. And I'd do it again. Or do you think existing forever like that would've been some kind of fucking improvement?"
"'Where there's life, there's hope.'" Billy leaned into her touch, linked his fingers with hers. "Goody told me that one. I like it." He turned his gaze toward the mountains. "I'll go with you, Pam. To stop other kids from going through what we did."
Pam grimaced. "Yeah, that. Fuck, a whole country that's that messed up. We've gotta do something" She squeezed his hand, then looked over at him and smiled, a little. "I'm glad you're coming, though. Eileen'll be happy, too - you really impressed her when you guys rescued Alex."
"I hardly remember it," Billy admitted. "It was like being in one of the sims again. Objective and targets, and nothing else mattered."
"Yeah, I get that." Pam made a face. "There's all kinds of shit I only remember in flashes. I'm never sure if it's a bad thing or not."
"For this kind of thing? Not." Billy frowned down at the blanket. "If I'm going to watch your back, I need to be all there. And I'm just not sure if I will be. I want to help, though."
"Hey, you had my back when the Right tried to grab us," she reminded him. "Besides, the Boss is always super clear about the mission objectives; first and foremost, the Brotherhood take care of their own." She smiled. "If you're going in with us, that includes you for the duration. You're part of the team."
"That was different. Like... in the moment. Not a mission." Billy shook his head. "I guess it doesn't matter. I'll do what you need me to do. Whatever it takes to stop those inhuman bastards."
"Y'know," Pam said slowly as she (probably belatedly, she had to admit) picked up on the fact Billy might have qualms about this beyond just memory issues, "if you're not cool with it, we'll manage okay without you. I don't want you doing anything you don't want to. I just figured - I dunno. It'd be kind of fun?"
"I'll just have to talk to Goody," Billy said. "Not because I need his permission. It's a big picture thing, right? If we decide we're going to overthrow a government, not just hit one lab to get our people back, or follow along with X-Force, how welcome do you think the school will make us?"
"Yeah, okay. Point." Pam grimaced and rolled over onto her side to face him. She hadn't really considered that, though she should have. Then again, with the Boss back, they probably wouldn't have been coming back anyway. She guessed. "Guess we definitely won't be coming back, then. But hey, a whole country full of fucked up mutants. At least we won't stand out?"
"I'll have to talk to Goody," Billy repeated. "If we have to leave the school... that's not a choice I can make for him. He needs a say."
"Not arguing that," Pam confirmed. "And if he wants in, he's welcome too. He could always help Computer Girl or something."
Billy sighed and flopped onto his back, soaking in the sun. "Or we could stay out here, where it's all uncomplicated."
"Doesn't sound bad, does it?" Pam sighed and rolled onto her back, throwing her arm up to shade her eyes. "If that's what you guys decide, I get it."
"I still don't know what it is about the school," Billy admitted. "I've talked it over with the Professor so many times. No one's tried manipulating me since we got Alex back. Not that I can tell, anyway. And I'm not with X-Force now anyway. But it just doesn't seem to fit right anymore." Billy closed his eyes. "There's more to it than just not fitting in anymore. I didn't tell you... I mean, I didn't tell anyone. Except Goody, he was there. But the Professor thinks I've got more than just a memory block in my head. Like, layers of psychic conditioning to keep me functional through extraordinary application of stress." Billy's old habit of quoting exact surfaced briefly before his usual cadence took over again. "He's not sure it's going to keep working. I was never supposed to have so many experiences when I was just a bait dog for The Right. Fight, obey. No attachments, no conflicts. It probably wasn't any different at the old school. And if the walls break down, the kid I was gets to experience all the shit I've been through."
Pam frowned, not quite understanding what he meant but recognizing enough to know it wasn't anything good. "So, you're going to like, relive it all like it's happening now?" she guessed. "That's going to be seriously fucked up."
"I'm not sure I will." Billy sighed. "The Professor's not sure what could happen. If it would be more like... me remembering everything before the school, before my powers. Or more like the kid I was waking and remembering all of it. Everything... but either way, I might not be me anymore. And if that's going to be how I end up, I don't want to just be sitting at the school, turning in homework and waiting for it to happen."
"I wouldn't either." Pam closed her eyes for a minute, then rolled over onto her side once more and reached over to tug Billy onto his, her expression resolved. "Come with us," she insisted, though her eyes were more pleading than ordering, and just a little over-bright. "Because for now, at least, you're you, and...fuck. We can take out more of those fuckers than anyone on Earth. We can be exactly who they made us into, and it'll be a really fucking amazing thing." Which...okay, maybe it wasn't the most coherent pep talk ever, but she felt like she had a lump the size of Freddy sitting on her chest right now at the thought of anything causing Billy to not be Billy, and it was the best she could do. Hopefully he'd get it.
Billy reached out and gathered her close, wrapping her in a close, tight hug. He'd cried all of his tears out on Goodnight. He could take a few of Pam's, if that was what she needed.
"I'll talk to Goody," he murmured. "But go or stay, I'm still your friend, OK? I'll love you for as long as I'm still a person."
"You'll still be a person, anyway," Pam mumbled into his shoulder as she hugged him back tight, fighting tears. There wasn't any reason to cry, just because some old bald guy who didn't really know shit said something might happen. It hadn't happened yet, and it probably wouldn't, and...fuck. Billy's words pushed her over the edge, and for the first time in years, Pam cried actual, visible tears into his shoulder. Because yeah, he'd still be a person. But he wouldn't necessarily be the same one, and she loved him, too.
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Date: 2019-06-04 03:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2019-06-06 02:53 pm (UTC)