ax_charm: Vax (Vax)
Vex’ahlia Vessar ([personal profile] ax_charm) wrote in [community profile] ax_main2019-03-27 11:09 am

Vex & Scanlan: Day 3, backdated to 3/27/19

Twinswap Plot, Day 3 Vex has a heart to heart with Scanlan over alcohol.



Figuring out the right magic to reverse Vex’s charm was proving more stubborn than expected. Vex stayed in high spirits, assuring Vax that they’d get it right tomorrow. No need to panic. There was no way this was a permanent swap.

Did she believe this optimism? Mostly, mostly yes. Was it still weird to be in a different body? Oh hell yes.

Which was why she ended up in Scanlan’s room pretty early in the evening taking advantage of his current stash of alcohol. Vex sprawled across the floor, staring up at the ceiling. The alcohol was just starting to buzz in her bloodstream. “Scanlan. I have a dick.”

Perched cross-legged on the side of his bed, Scanlan looked down at the fairly pitiable form of Vax/Not-Vax, taking a swig from the bottle of cheap liquor at his side.

"Well, yes. That's one of the side-effects of Vax-ness. Vax-hood?" He tapped a finger to his chin, then shrugged. "A side-effect of your new situation," he concluded. "Granted, it's not much of a dick, but I do understand it's more than you're used to working with."

Vex laughed, hands coming up over her face. “Why are you acquainted with my brother’s dick? Do I dare ask? Did you spend our adolescence in the keep comparing sizes, or is there a secret tryst I’m unaware of?

"My dear Vex, there are all sorts of secrets I prefer to keep you unaware of," Scanlan laughed. "Maybe, once you're back in your actual body, I'll let you in on a few of them. For now, though, welcome to the land of shaking the dew off the lily every time you use the restroom."

“You say it so poetically, when really it’s anything but. Vax is freaking out and he doesn’t even have to hold anything when he needs to take a piss.” She shook her head. “So much compartmentalizing.”

"Vax does like to dramatize things when he should be enjoying the moment," Scanlan said with a little buzzed-philosophical nod. "But I suppose if I suddenly had to deal with complicated underwear and menstrual cramps and eyeliner, I'd probably be in a bad mood, too. Though it's possible your brother is familiar enough with the eyeliner already to get by ..."

“He really is,” Vex agreed. “And the underwear is not complicated. He can always settle for sports bras, even if it’s not the best support. No one is asking him to lace a corset.” Which, again, like the eyeliner would look perfectly good on this body as well. Were Vax ever inclined.

Scanlan leaned forward, palms resting on his knees, dark eyes suddenly alight. "I will give you half of everything I own if you let me put your brother's body in a corset," he told her with perfect seriousness, for all the mischief in his smile.

Vex snorted. “Why, Scanlan, I didn’t realize that you were also inclined toward my brother. Does Percy have competition?”

"'Inclined' nothing," Scanlan snorted good-naturedly. "Though if I were, I don't really think it would be much of a competition. I'd have your brother swooning behind his emo bangs in no time at all. As it is, if you give me Vax in a corset and a camera phone, I'll make him YouTube-famous in an hour."

“Scanlan.” The tone of her voice, especially in the lower register, made any impending threats unnecessary. “There will be no YouTube videos,” she said succinctly. Alcohol be damned, her brother’s face was not going across the Internet.

"But," he protested, still grinning and emphasizing his argument with inappropriate jazz hands, "YouTube-famous! He'll be just like those nerds who sit around every week for four hours playing Dungeons and Dragons."

“That sounds more like Percy,” Vex remarked. “But we’re trying to limit our visibility for pretty obvious reasons. Leave Vax in his shadows. Our father is already a pain in the ass about that shit.”

"I think there's been more than enough time now for Percy to have rubbed off on Vax," Scanlan retorted, with an extra helping of unnecessary lewdness. "But fine!" He threw himself back on the bed. "You never let me have any fun."

A beat passed, then he asked, "Why don't you and Vax just get yourselves disowned, if your dad is that much of a hassle? I'm pretty sure you could manage it easily enough. Guy sounds like an the kind of prig that odes and songs will be sung of in the future in praise of priggishness."

Vex sat up enough to down more of her drink. “Our step-sister is sweet. And who knows if we might need him one day.”

"I will accept that your step-sister is cool as a reason for not cutting ties. Less so the other thing--if you need anybody for anything, that's what Vox Machina's for. Smug French diplomats can get acute food poisoning from stinky cheese." He stared at the ceiling for a moment before adding, seemingly apropos of nothing, "I miss my mum."

“Scanlan,” Vex said with genuine affection. Vex scooted closer to the bed and reached up to squeeze his ankle. “Tell me more about her.”

"We managed to scrape together enough when I was really small to buy a secondhand electric keyboard. In the evening, when we were bored, she'd play and I'd sing. She was pretty terrible, but so was I." He sighed. "I wish I knew what happened to that keyboard. Sold, I guess, to pay off the bills and rent and whatnot."

“She sounds really wonderful,” Vex said softly.

"She was," Scanlan agreed, brushing the back of his arm over his eyes. "She would have loved you guys, too. Probably brought out embarrassing baby pictures, and everything. She even would have liked Vax's ridiculous emo bangs. No accounting for taste."

“Sometimes I wish our mother was still with us. That home never burned, and we lived happily ever after with her. But then I would not have met you. Or Pike, or Grog, or Keyleth, or Percival.” Vex leaned her head back against the bed. “Maybe shit happens for a reason.”

"I try to think like that, sometimes," he admitted, "but I can't ever seem to get the hang of it. To me, it seems more like it's on us to make the best of whatever circumstance life throws our way, whether it's shitty or sublime." A rueful smirk split Scanlan's small face, and he scrubbed his eyes again with the backs of his palms. "God, listen to us. I'm one slug from this bottle away from breaking out the Hank Williams, Jr., and nobody wants that. Tell me something fun. Anything."

Vex racked her brain and the first thing to come to mind was, “If we want to have another lavish destination party like Shaun’s birthday I’m pretty sure Shinobi is lining up to be Vox Machina’s sugar daddy. He is a ridiculous human being, but he’s expressed both interest in hanging out again and a loose grasp on expense. Start thinking of places you want to go or party themes you want to pursue.”

"The weird Asian kid from Shaun's party?" Scanlan asked, surprised. "Are you sure he doesn't just want to be your sugar daddy?" Vex was pretty cute, when she was herself, after all. Even as her brother, she was sure to attract a second look or two. Then again ... half the reason Scanlan thought of Shinobi as "weird" was he'd caught the guy watching him a time or two, in the cafeteria, between classes, randomly in the halls. It wasn't a predatory interest--his was pretty keyed in to what that looked like, and how to discourage it. More ... calculated? Which itself made no sense, since Shinobi seemed about as calculated as a John Cage piece.

"Do you think he'd sponsor an expedition to Kuala Lumpur? I have no idea where it is, but I heard the name once, and promised myself I would go someday. It sounds interesting."

Vex snorted. “Paternal issues aside I’m pretty he’d more likely to call me daddy.” Which was a hilarious thought in this state. It was a shame she’d swapped bodies with her twin and hadn’t shapeshifted somehow into a boy’s body because Vex had a sudden interest in seeing what else Shinobi might be good at. She spluttered a soft laugh, but didn’t elaborate on the joke. “And it’s possible. There’s something there, and I haven’t pushed to see where it’s going. When Keyleth gets back…”

"When Keyleth gets back, you'll push?" he asked, after an appreciative chuckle at her "daddy" observation. "That seems a little lukewarm. Unless you're just stringing him along until we're all back together, and can go find something more interesting to do than school." Scanlan doubted that was the case, but he also didn't think Vex was one to give her heart away readily. Certainly not to some absurd, hyper-wealthy party boy. But that didn't mean she couldn't enjoy the hyper-wealthy part while it lasted.

“I’d rather not go far until she’s back,” Vex said. She tilted her head back. “It did not go well the last time we went separate ways.

"Tell me about it," Scanlan grimaced. "Most boring time of my life. Even school is better that that." He gave a dramatic shudder, then twisted around to lay on his stomach, his face poking over the edge of the bed. "So, you're just passing the time until the band gets back together again, and we move on to bigger and less stable things?"

“Something like that,” Vex agreed. She reached up and ruffled Scanlan’s hair.

Scanlan wrinkled his nose, but did not protest the ruffling of his hair--even if it were weird for it to be Vax who was doing it. Like ... super, super weird. Moving on. "Well, I suppose that's the closest thing we've got to a five-year plan, at the moment. And I don't think anybody else is going to come up with anything better. Steady inertia it is!"

"We have plenty of time to get into trouble," she told him.

"Well, of course," he agreed with a definitive nod. "Even at my most docile, Scanlan Shorthalt without trouble is like a day without sunshine. A sky without stars. A song without music. I could go on, but my similes will just become more of a stretch from here."

“The poet loses his words.” Vex I steadily climbed to her feet and sat down next to him. She passed Scanlan another drink. “Here. This will help. Or hinder. Both works.”

"Musician," Scanlan corrected. "It's a fine distinction, but an important one." He accepted the drink, and leaned against Vax/Vex's side. "Musicians are never at a loss for words. When in doubt, we improvise."

“Some musicians don’t even need words,” she pointed out. She slung an arm around Scanlan’s shoulders.

"Yes, but the rest of us call them hacks," he confided. "Or sometimes pretentious art school dropouts. Depends on the context, you know?" Scanlan looked up at the taller teen, one brow quirked. "You know, we really should find some way to take advantage of your temporary condition, as long as we're just killing time anyway. How often do you think the opportunity is going to come up?"

Vex arched a brow. “What are you thinking?”

"I'm not sure--I can't think of anything off the top of my head that isn't either sketchy or something you would do anyway, regardless of what you happen to be packing in your trousers. I guess you could get a prostate exam, except I can't see any upside to that whatsoever. Maybe I'll have to workshop this one."

"Scanlan." Vex burst out laughing.

"That's better," he said nodding and offering his most impudent grin. And it was. As long as they could all still laugh, they could manage whatever adversity came there way. Whether it was something as minor as the twins swapping bodies for a bit, or as gutting as one of their own taking off again on her own. "And I did admit that the idea wasn't ready for mass marketing yet. It's your own fault, really, for being so empowered and awesome and not sketchy. Really limits our options."

“I am an upstanding citizen,” she tried to say with a straight face. “And I may be open to a certain level of sketchy.” That might be the alcohol talking, or her blowing steam.

"Well, obviously, the first thing you should do is snap as many pictures as you can in the boys' communal showers after gym class, then sell them off to the female students at a premium markup," he told her. "I'd do it myself, but the angles I get are all wrong, owing to my ... vertical challenges. You could also find a random emo club and make out with a random emo girl. I'd suggest making out with Shaw, as well, except I think that might get us both shanked by Vax once he's finally back in his actual body."

“I hate to break the news to you Scanlan, but women are 99% less interested in dick pics than boys expect.” The suggestion of Shinobi was becoming more and more likely. Vax was going to stab things later. Because in her current state it was a logical train of thought, Vex said, “Percy kissed me. It was so much more awkward than I ever imagined.”

"Is it like kissing a dead fish?" Scanlan asked, sitting up eagerly. "I may have started a pool wagering that kissing Percy would be like kissing a dead fish. If you back me up on this, I would be willing to split my winnings with you. Sixty-forty."

“Alas, it wasn’t fishy. It was just wrong. He was trying to kiss my brother, and he’s practically the brother-in-law now.” She shook her head. “Wrong twin. So much wrong twin. If they weren’t so serious about each other it wouldn’t be as weird. But... no.”

"That raises an interesting question," he said, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin. "What if Shinobi tries to kiss you, not knowing that you are currently Vax? Will Vax try to shank him because of the wrongness, or just go with it because not-serious? I mean, he's kind of a weirdo, but Shaw's pretty easy on the eyes."

"I’m pretty sure that cat is out of the bag by now. We should have probably sent out a memo." Vex took another swallow of alcohol. "I wonder if I, I don't know, blindfolded Shinobi so that he can't see Vax if I could then take advantage of him like this. There are things I am very curious to know, but I also don't want Shinobi to be smug at my brother or say something to Percy about the placement of Vax's tattoos."

"Based on my extremely limited experiences with him, I have a hard time imagining Shaw saying no to blindfolds. Or kinky liaisons with the admittedly not-completely-unattractive fraternal twin of his ... snogging buddy? Make-out pal? I don't know. Suffice it to say, I doubt there's much you could ask him that he'd say no to. Though I'm pretty sure he would also be extremely smug at Vax, and probably say something inappropriate to Percy." Scanlan blinked. "I think Shinobi Shaw might be my spirit animal."

She reached to cup Scanlan's cheek dramatically. "One day we'll find you a large fortune to play with, Scanlan. For now, keep being outrageous the ways you do best."

The gesture, coming as it seemed to from Vax'ildan, was extremely incongruous--and Scanlan appreciated that immensely. He grinned up at the body-switched twin wicked. "Vex, if I can promise you nothing else, you can always rely on my singular outrageousness."


[personal profile] ax_blackguard 2019-05-11 03:51 pm (UTC)(link)
LOL love it.
ax_hex: (Default)

[personal profile] ax_hex 2019-05-12 04:24 pm (UTC)(link)
Percy is offended. I, on the other hand, love it :)