ax_main | Cal and Betsy, Backdated to 11/30

After Yorkland, Cal and Betsy tiptoe around a conversation that's not quite ripe to be had.

Cal had agonized over the text he had sent Betsy for a long few minutes, not wanting to offend her. But just back from whatever that fantasy mindfuck had been, he hadn't had much choice but to send something. He needed some time so he could think about it without freaking out like a fucking idiot, and so he'd gone for the bare minimum. I'm sorry, I'm going to need some time. Simple, to the point, hopefully not offensive? She knew he had issues. A mountain of issues. He really, really hoped she wouldn't take it personally.

He'd spent more time shifted than not in the next couple of days, alternating between his massive black wolf and his black panther. Only today had he felt relaxed enough to switch back into his grey wolf-dog for a run around the grounds with Abs.

They hit the kitchen when they came back in, and Cal shifted back into himself as he pushed the door open, only to find himself looking at Betsy. Betsy, who looked as amazing as always. His heart got stuck in his throat, and he had to swallow before he could trust his voice to say, quietly, "Hey."

Abs had none of his issues, of course, and walked over to Betsy to sniff her shoes, and bark at her demandingly. Whether she was after being petted or fed was up for interpretation.

"Hey," she returned, with a slight smile more meant to reassure him than anything else. Whatever had happened, with the whole other world other life nonsense, was in the past. She didn't mean to push him into awkward conversations about it.

Betsy knelt and gave Abs a few pats. "Hello, love."

Abs barked again, happily this time, tail wagging. "Sorry," Cal said, although he wasn't sure what for. Interrupting? Existing? Disappearing after that whole thing?

"Don't be," she said, scratching behind Abs' ears. "You're allowed space and time."

Option three it was, then. Cal shifted a little on his feet, then stepped into the kitchen proper, without closing the door. But hey, at least he no longer was in the doorway? "Yeah, but - that's what I needed. I don't know what you needed." Just because she didn't have his hang-ups didn't mean that would have been easy for her. He was pretty sure that whole thing had fucked with everybody's mind, and sense of self.

The corner of her lips tipped up into something between a smirk and a sad smile. "I don't need much." She'd had to learn the hard way how to cope with adjusting one's sense of self not that long ago, after all. "Just wondered how you are."

"You know," Cal answered with a shrug, looking at Abs rather than Betsy. "Trying to... deal."

"It was...quite the experience." Betsy said, nodding. "The world shifting."

Just to be clear she hadn't meant the sex.

"Yeah," he agreed, and pursed his lips into a small, brief smile. "All of it."

Just to be clear he also meant the sex.

She couldn't help the slight smirk at his response. "Well, we learned something new."

Cal still didn't want to think too hard about that, actually. He knew it had been awesome - in the moment - but now. Now it felt way too complicated, and it made his palms sweat and his skin crawl. "Yeah," he agreed, and moved to grab some bacon from the fridge. He wasn't really hungry anymore, but he could always treat Abs. "How, uh, how've you been?"

He sounded like an idiot, and he knew it. What was he supposed to say? Sorry I'm too fucked up to go there here? That would be arrogant as all fuck, really; she might not want to go there here at all.

"Pretty good, considering," she said. He, however, seemed nervous. But Betsy doubted he particularly wanted that pointed out. "I was going to heat up some stew, would you like some?"

"Nah, I'm okay," Cal replied with a shake of his head. His stomach was too much in knots for him to eat anything, he was pretty sure. Abs barked to get his attention back where it should be, and he told her, pointedly, "Sit." Only once she had did he drop a strip of bacon her way. "Good girl."

Betsy rummaged in the fridge for the leftovers and, once found, placed a sauce pan on the stove so she could begin to reheat them. "It doesn't have to change anything, you know," she told Cal gently. It hadn't been them, had not been this world. And, if the whole lot of them had learned anything from the bizarre experience, it was that some things were not set in stone, not constant. "We still are who we were before, at the end of it all."

Cal chuckled humorlessly at that; still being who he was before, at the end of it all, was kind of the entire problem. He hadn't been somebody who'd have an issue with sex anymore, for a brief moment, and now he was back to being hella fucked up. "Yeah," he confirmed, a little wryly. "That's kind of the entire problem, isn't it."

She shrugged a little. "It wasn't a problem, at least not between us, before. Why should it be now?"

Because it was easier to ignore, before. All of it. How attracted he was to her, how much he liked her, and how much all of it freaked him the fuck out. He still wasn't sure why, other than it had to do with Sandra. That much would have been obvious, even without therapy.

Because he knew what it was like to kiss her, and he wanted to do it again, but he knew he couldn't handle it.

But Cal couldn't say that, of course. Just the thought made his heart start to beat harder, faster. "Sure," he acknowledged, with a small nod. Fake it til you make it? That was totally the plan for now. As much of one as he could put together at this stage.

He crouched down to pet Abs, and feed her another strip of bacon. "Anyway, I have to go meet Clint. I'll see you later?"

"Of course," she assured him. "You know how to find me."

Cal looked up at her, then, as he picked Abs up in his arms. "I am sorry," he told her again, this time his tone different. Regret, more than apology. Then he murmured the customary "Okay" under his breath, and in a blink, Abs and he were gone.