Tommy and Wanda | Backdated to 6/21
Jun. 21st, 2018 08:39 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ax_mainWanda and Tommy at his birthday party. With shots.
"So, sixteen, huh?" Wanda asked as she walked up to Tommy. Her outfit wasn't what she'd have normally worn to the club, mostly because she had a date, after, but she liked how it had come out, anyway. In any case, she doubted Tommy'd give a fuck what she wore so long as she came, and it wasn't like she'd have missed it. "Y'know, if you tell people that more than a couple of days ahead, they have time to go shopping and get you shit."
She'd come! Not that he'd been waiting for her or anything, but he'd gotten used to having Wanda around in the spring and the last couple of months had been weird, only seeing her once in a while. And half the time she was hanging out with Scott, which was a big fat no-thank-you. "Why would anybody buy me shit?" Tommy asked, looping a casual arm around her shoulders for a hug before she could elbow him and tell him to get off. "If you're feeling weirdly flush tonight you can get the first round, how's that?"
"I was going to offer, believe it or not." Wanda rolled her eyes, smiled, and slipped her arm around his waist to hug him back. "How've you been, kiddo?" she asked as she steered him towards the bar.
"Hell of a lot better than last year this time," he grinned, never really sure how to answer that question. "And tonight's going to be good times. How're things at M this week?" He needed to go over, see Yana and harass Pietro if they didn't end up showing at the club.
"Same old, same old." Wanda smirked. "Whatever you do, don't ask Pietro about anything related to PR - you'll get a lecture on whatever the current theory is that he's studying. Beyond that? Nothing super exciting."
Tommy quirked a brow up. "Is he planning on showing up? He's not seriously studying tonight."
"He's here," Wanda assured him. "Pretty sure he's on the dance floor already. He wouldn't not come to this, any more than I wouldn't." She waved for the bartender to come over as she slipped onto a stool. "What do you want? It's on me."
"Vodka and Red Bull, if you can convince him to serve us. Or is that what the cleavage is for?" Tommy asked, shaking his head in mock disapproval. "Why's Pietro studying pr?"
"That. Plus my ID. And, y'know, maybe I've got a date after this." Wanda smirked at Tommy, then pulled out her ID and showed it to the bartender, who made a show of eyeing it and then her as an excuse for checking out the afore-mentioned cleavage. "Pietro's trying to figure out how to get our message across, seeing as the media's scrambling it every chance they get. Can't hurt anything."
"A date?" Tommy slouched back against the bar, elbows on the edge. "Who with?" The only guy that she hung out with that seemed even remotely likely (as in, not related to her, not dating someone she was related to, and not gross - Mort) was Scott, and that was both deeply fucking annoying, and equally unlikely. Unless it was another one of those group things that seemed to be so common around the school. It had better not be Scott.
"Mmm...better question, should I tell you that? Or are you going to give me shit about it?" Wanda eyed Tommy speculatively and smirked. "Besides, I think you need to tell me all about the girl you were dancing with earlier first. Wynonna, I think her name is?"
"I'll tell you, but it'll cost you," Tommy grinned, mischief in his green eyes. "Wynonna Earp, fastest gun this side of the Mississippi. Who's yours?"
"Clint Barton, archery enthusiast," Wanda countered, returning his grin. She accepted the drinks without really even looking at the bartender, and slid Tommy's over to him. "She's that fast, huh? Did you find out because she shot you?"
He grabbed his glass and saluted her with it. "I offered to do a speed trial, but she hasn't taken me up on it yet. I'm not worried." He took a swig, then gave Wanda a considering look. "Clint, hunh. You know most of those guys are going to be a mess for a while."
"You've met my teammates, haven't you?" Wanda countered. "I've got plenty of experience dealing with messes. Anyway, he's nice, I like him. We're just seeing where it goes." She grinned. "So far, it's gone to a second date. How long have you and Wynonna been a thing?"
There was 'general mess' and there was 'fucking traumatized,' but Tommy didn't feel like going there. Not when he was only a year out himself and had been through a lot less shit than they had. He didn't exactly have the right to complain.
"Billy introduced us a while back, but it's been a thing since- since, yeah, April Fool's Day. Go figure," he grinned back. "She's cool. And hot. It's a good combination."
"I'm glad." And she was, honestly - and reassured, in a way, that Billy'd introduced them. While she'd never really met Billy's boyfriend, she had more faith in his judgement than she did in Tommy's. After all, Tommy'd been doing - whatever it was he'd been doing with Fatale. This Wynonna could only be a step up. "Though it seems like I should've gotten a chance to meet her by now. Do I get to do the whole 'What are your intentions regarding my son?" thing?"
That was just about enough to make him cough on his drink, coming really damn close to getting red bull up his nose. "She doesn't even know that I have a mother, never mind whatever the hell this is-" he gestured back and forth between them. "And I'm pretty sure her intentions boil down to 'making out on a regular basis.' Which I'm good with."
Wanda smirked, both at Tommy's discomfiture and his words. "Maybe. But you telling me that is nowhere near as amusing as potentially watching her squirm." Also not what she'd hoped to hear, but who knew, maybe it'd grow into more than that.
'Is that supposed to be selling me on the request? 'cause you need to work on your pitch some more," Tommy shot back, regaining his equilibrium.
"Well, she's here. I'm pretty sure I don't need your permission," Wanda pointed out. "But I'll make you a deal instead. I won't harass her, you don't harass Clint." She made a face. "He'll get enough of it from Pietro when he finds out."
"I have approximately zero plans to harass Clint," Tommy confirmed readily. "I'm more concerned about the electronic appliances over at Asteroid M if it all goes to hell because he's only a couple of months out from the gulag. None of us are exactly what you'd call 'well-balanced.'" He wrinkled his nose and chugged half his drink in one go. It tingled some on the way down, and he hung on to that feeling.
"Wow. Y'know, I must've missed that. Right along with Alex staring at walls and Fatale throwing knives at them." The glasses on the bar began rattling, despite the fact the floor and the bar itself remained unmoving. "But here's the thing? I'm not exactly well-balanced myself. I'd like to think that doesn't make me totally un-dateable."
Tommy glanced at the glasses, then back at her, nonplussed. "It's staggering the number of ways what I said wasn't actually about you," he pointed out. "All I'm saying is go easy on the guy. It was months before I stopped checking every corner before going to sleep, and I'm the least fucked up out of all of us so far. It's gonna take the new gang longer to decompress." At least Wanda wasn't the kind of person who would try and heal the ~poor wounded creature~ with the power of ~twu wuv~ or whatever bullshit. That would be a fast train to disasterville.
"And what I'm saying is that needing time to decompress doesn't make him undateable," Wanda observed, though she took a deep breath and made the glasses stop rattling. "Plus, surprise surprise, he asked me out, so apparently he's feeling ready for it. If he needs to check around corners or skip out on going to the club for your birthday, I really don't have a problem with that."
Fine, so she wasn't planning to listen. Not like it was his problem whether she did or not. "You know what? Not my circus," Tommy shrugged, repeating the same thing he'd told TJ weeks ago. "Not my monkeys. Forget I said anything."
"Not hard, when you're not coming out and saying what you mean." Go easy on him was supposed to mean what, exactly? Honestly. Nonetheless, Wanda brushed that aside. "Anyway, I've got an offer for you. For your birthday."
"Aw, mom, you bought me a car," he teased, clasping his hands -- and his drink -- over his heart. "You shouldn't have."
"Yeaaah, that's definitely it. Nevermind that I don't have a car." Wanda swatted at his leg, making no real attempt to actually hit it, and smirked. "Anyway, you'd just complain that you were faster than the car, and I'd have to listen to it. Fuck that."
"That's true," Tommy conceded cheerfully. "Though I kind of want to get my license now just to see if Billy will get one in order to keep up with me. Watching him try to parallel park would be worth it."
Wanda snorted. "You realize he'd just wish the car parallel parked, right? And it'll somehow just move itself into place."
Tommy sighed. "You two take all the fun out of everything."
"Yeah, I pride myself on that." Wanda smirked. "But I'm willing to make up for it. Did you want to get drunk? Like, actually fucked up drunk?"
Not possible, he was about to jog her memory, but duh, she was Pietro's sister and didn't need the reminder. Did he, if it were? A chance to let everything go, leave all the fucked up crap in his brain behind and just be?
(Forget that the Right had done shit to him and push his powers too far, hit light speed or some shit and never find his way back. Or worse. Not be able to use them at all and not be able to move if something-or someone-came for him again.)
Tommy finished the drink in his hand, waiting for the fleeting moment of warmth to come and go. "What did you have in mind?" He asked, more cautious than intrigued.
"Slow you down long enough for the alcohol to kick in," Wanda explained. "I figured out how to do it to Pietro to get his painkillers to work. It'll still wear off faster than it would for anyone else," she admitted. "I can't hold it that long. But with a little effort, you could get seriously shit-faced."
She meant well, Wanda wouldn't hurt him, he knew that. Even still, the thought made his skin crawl and his feet itch, and he had to fight off the urge to bolt. "No," he said quickly-- too quickly. "Nah, I'm good," he forced out more slowly. He'd joked about trying out Wynonna's gun on him, but that had only been because he was absolutely sure he could outrun it. Someone focusing on him, turning his power off, forcing him slow, filling his mind up with fog? Not again. No. "I like my powers where they are, even if it means missing the truly delightful experience of a major hangover."
"Yeah well, Tylenol and a shitload of water take care of that," Wanda counselled, but waved it aside. She'd promised him never to fuck with his powers without his permission; she wasn't about to do it now. "Stubborn ass speedsters," she said instead, fondly. "How do you feel about tequila shots, then? Because I've heard they can fuck up pretty much anyone."
"Sure, if you're buying," Tommy grinned. "Are you trying to set me up for blackmail material? Did Illyana put you up to it or something?"
"Pretty sure Illyana'd do her own dirty work," Wanda pointed out, then smirked. "But no. I just figure I got drunk on my sixteenth, it should be a family tradition or something. And I'm guessing it's going to be harder to get you fucked up than it will Billy."
"Billy's a lightweight. Two drinks in and he's telling the planet how much he loves everyone on it." Tommy snorted, but it held a lot more affection than he'd ever admit if called on it. "I'm not going for 'totally blitzed' tonight anyway. I missed last birthday, I wanna remember this one."
"Fair enough." Wanda called the bartender back and ordered a half dozen shots. "Should we get him over here for this?" She smirked. "Or maybe your new girlfriend?"
"If you can peel him off of Altman, be my guest," Tommy replied dryly. "And I don't have a girlfriend. But Wynonna's always down for some fun, if that's who you mean."
Wanda looked around and found that, as predicted, Billy was pretty much attached to his boyfriend. "Yeah, I think it'd take more than me to accomplish that. Is he really an alien?"
"So he says. I wasn't around when it all went down, but Kitty and a few other guys saw the spaceship too, so it wasn't some kind of two-person hallucination." Tommy followed Wanda's gaze and watched them for a couple of seconds longer. "And get this. Hes not just an alien, he's apparently prince alien. Billy was freaking out about what will happen when Teddy has to go back to space and be emperor someday." Tommy shook his head. "And I thought our family tree situation was weird."
"Our family tree situation is so far beyond weird it needs its own dimension. Preferably one without demons. Do you figure he'll go along, be the Emperor's Consort or something?" Wanda asked curiously.
Tommy looked away from the irritating couple and scouted to see if the bartender was coming with those shots. "Who wouldn't? Depends if they're still a thing by then, I guess. And Billy's hopelessly attached to his parents, but I can't see him turning that one down." And why wouldn't he? It wasn't like Tommy was important enough to make him think twice about leaving Earth. "But a lot can happen in a few years."
"True. Most high school relationships don't make it past high school." Wanda grinned crookedly. "Or so they say on TV anyway. I wouldn't, though. I mean, no clue just how far away the Skrull empire is? But I'm thinking it's too far to commute."
"He can teleport, so that makes a difference. No idea if that can get him as far as another galaxy or not, but I have the feeling they'll try and find out." Tommy was bored with the topic now, and he looked away. And perfect timing. "There's Wynonna. If I bring her over, are you going to be nice?" he grinned at Wanda knowingly.
"Probably not." Wanda smirked. "She's my potential daughter-in-law, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be awful to her."
"Fuck that noise. Do that and I'm going to start calling Clint 'dad.' See how long that lasts."
"Already told him." Wanda shrugged and smirked. "I didn't trust you and Billy not to."
Tommy shook his head, but his lips twitched up at the corners. "Don't lump me in with that blabbermouth. The fewer times I have to say things like "retro-reincarnation," the happier I am. I say we just all agree to say 'cousins' and leave it at that."
"But then I'd have to stop getting you obnoxious t-shirts and coffee mugs," Wanda pointed out. The bartender finally made his way over with a tray full of shots, a couple of cut up limes, and a salt shaker. She smirked. "Besides, everyone has cousins. I have teenage twins who are only two years younger than I am. It's a definitely conversation starter.
"It's something, that's for sure." Tommy snagged a shot glass off the tray, ignoring the pointed look the bartender sent in his direction. "Hang on to us-them next time around, alright? The alternative in this timeline sucked." He paused, and reconsidered, then admitted grudgingly, "Billy did alright, mind you. The Kaplans are solid."
"Yeah, I met them - well, his mom, anyway. She was cool." Wanda sighed, handed over money for the shots, and helped herself to one. And debated, not for the first time, just what to say to Tommy that he wouldn't just shut out or bail. Maybe just ignoring the lead-in was best? "Anyway, I can't see myself just losing you guys to the time stream or whatever, but for all we know, you two were eighty years old and I was long dead. Unless Simon told Billy something he didn't pass on."
"Not that he mentioned to me, and I've been on the receiving end of a bunch of his rambling about this stuff. He's not super-stellar at hiding things." The smell of the tequila snaked around his senses. New Years - that had been the last time he'd had the stuff. He was momentarily tempted to put it back down, but making new associations was a better plan.
"See? So I'm choosing to believe I was an awesome mom," Wanda said smugly. She licked her hand, sprinkled it with salt, and handed him the shaker.
He swiped it, easier than going where that conversation wanted to go, and followed suit. "Cheers," he offered, lifting his shot glass in Wanda's general direction.
Wanda held hers up in turn, smirked, then licked off the salt, took the shot, and reached for the lime.
Tommy followed suit, the tequila burning a line down the throat differently than the vodka mixer he'd slammed before it. He slid the lime between his teeth, flashing a green rind-smile at Wanda right after.
Wanda rolled her eyes and smirked at him as she bit into her own. "Brat. C'mon, two for one here."
He wrinkled his nose and shook his head, taking the lime rind out of his mouth to reply. "Pass. I'd rather spread the wealth. The last time I came close to getting shitfaced, things got weird," he confessed, the memory of the gazebo poking back in where he didn't want it. I've got the better twin. "Better to keep my brain where I can see it."
"You have one?" Wanda teased, then shook her head, her expression shifting to concerned. "What happened?"
Tommy rolled his eyes at her, then shrugged uncomfortably. "Pam got some weed off Pietro and we smoked up, right after she and Alex got to the school. It was fine, until she started being weird. Saying that she'd 'got' me. No-one 'has' me," Tommy poked an emphatic finger at the top of the bar, that familiar, awful panic settling in deep again. "Especially not if I'm just being collected for backup purposes."
Wanda sighed, and reached over and rested her hand on his. "Hey. Whatever was going on there - and I'm not pretending to have a clue, because honestly, I tried to stay as far away from it as possible? I doubt it was backup. If for no other reason than because there's no fucking way Alex would ever leave her, or vice versa. We all knew that from the first week. She had to know that, too."
"Yeah. I'm aware." Tommy reached around her arm and grabbed another shot glass from the collection, ignoring his moments-ago decision not to go for it. "I don't mean backup like that. But I've done more than my share of being second-best, least important. Not going there again."
"You deserve better than that," Wanda agreed. She watched him take the shotglass with concern, though. Somehow, she didn't think he was as blase about it all as he pretended, not if he was scooping up the shot he'd just said he didn't want. "And now you found it, right? Wynonna? Or is she just to help you get over it?"
Tommy went through the ritual at high speed, not letting himself think about the taste of salt on someone else's skin. The tequila hit hard and fast, but the burn and rush was gone - as per usual - before he spoke again. "It's an undefined kind of thing. It's better that way," he pointed out. "No-one staking territory claims, and no-one's making promises they don't plan to keep. I'm sixteen and I'm having fun."
"There's nothing wrong with that," Wanda agreed, then added softly, "But I'm not sure it's gonna put you in someone's top spot, either. And it sounds like that's what you really want."
Tommy shrugged, already regretting ever opening his mouth. "If some hypothetical someone had a top spot open and wanted to put me there, they would. Slapping labels on shit and locking someone down is the fastest road to making you hate each other."
Wanda shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. I'm just going on my first second date; I'm not claiming to be an expert. Pietro and Lance seem to be doing okay, despite finally giving things a name."
"I give it a year, tops, before it's nothing but fights about who has to take out the garbage or who drunk-sexted whose ex from the bar."
"Cynical much?" Wanda reached for another shot. "Besides, you need a different example. I'm not sure either of them even has an ex, and they've been arguing about the garbage for years."
"Whatever, you know what I meant." Tommy rested his elbows on the bar and watched the dance floor, disengaging from the conversation. "You stick a name on something, make it official, that's when it turns into expectations." He flashed her a sharp, bright grin. "But if no-one expects anything, then you can't disappoint them." Or the other way around. "Speaking of which, have you heard anything from your dad?"
"Nice segue," Wanda deadpanned, but shook her head. "Nothing. I can't decide if I should be worried or cursing him out, so I'm doing both on alternate days. And trying to act like it's no big deal, so if you can not mention it around anyone else, I'd appreciate it."
"No sweat. Same goes back to you. The last thing I need is Billy latching on to my bullshit and trying to psychoanalyze me. He spends too much time with his mother." Tommy rolled his eyes.
"Fair. I liked his mom, though," Wanda admitted. "She could've made things really fucking weird, and she didn't."
Yeah, there weren't a lot of people out there who would take the sudden appearance of their kid's double and some weird girl claiming to be his mother-from-another-universe nearly as well as the Kaplans. It made him seriously curious to find out how they'd take Billy's whole 'by the way, I'm gay and my boyfriend is an alien' thing, but the way he was going that wouldn't happen for another decade. "They're alright," Tommy agreed. "Even his little brothers aren't total shitstains. It gives one hope for the future," he cracked, only semi-serious.
"Please. You, the eternal pessimist, have hope for the future? Who are you, and when did you replace Tommy with a shapeshifting alien?" Wanda asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously, though her lips twitched as she reached for another shot.
"Nope. That'd be your future son-in-law," Tommy shot back, not bothering to hide his own grin. "My goal is to get the baby Kaplans to be utterly insufferable by the end of the summer."
"So what, you're going to offer to babysit them?" Wanda laughed. She went through the motions and took another shot, then gestured at the empty glass. "See what you do to me? You're driving me to drink now, just thinking about those poor little kids. Or, y'know, what'll happen to the rest of the city by the time you're done with them."
"Babysitting?" he snorted. "Fuck no. No-one in their right mind would leave me in charge of a kid. But the Kaplans keep asking me over for dinner and stuff so they get exposed to the wonder that is me on a regular basis, at least for the moment. We'll see how long that lasts before I wear out my welcome," he grinned, a sharp edge to it.
"And what, then they disinvite you and you run into that forcefield effect type of thing at the door? I knew we'd forgotten to do something at the base." Wanda rolled her eyes at him and smiled. "You're being an idiot, y'know. You're not that awful."
"Who said anything about being awful?" Tommy pretended to be offended, flattening one hand against his chest. "I can't help it if my awesome becomes blinding."
"Yeah, because that's definitely a thing. Blinding." Wanda shook her head, then smiled at him. "And then you wonder why everyone assumed you were a Pietro clone."
Tommy laughed, shaking his head. "He wishes. He can be my stunt double, if he can keep up with me."
Wanda laughed as well. "Kinda want to see that race, now. Except we'd need a third speedster just to proclaim the winner."
"There are four of us kicking around, you know," Tommy pointed out. "I'm pretty sure JP is actually faster than me now, but don't tell him I admitted that."
"I haven't met the other two - seen, yes, met, no. Though the girl came to our party, and I'm pretty sure I saw her here?" Wanda replied, looking around the room.
"Yeah, Jean-Paul got boyfriended up and vanished off the face of the planet," Tommy shrugged it off as if he didn't care. "Jeanne-Marie's here, though, and she's awesome. She and Kurt are going out," he added as an afterthought.
"Interesting." Wanda grinned, a little. "Still haven't really met Kurt. Probably should sometime, huh? What does he say about the whole daughter thing?"
"Billy-levels of well," Tommy reported with a grin. "But come on -- he's perfectly primed to accept the weird and wonderful into his life."
"Considering he looks like a fuzzy blue elf? I'd say he's well acquainted with weirdness, yeah." Wanda shrugged. "I can never decide if I should go say hi or not. I keep thinking maybe he will, and then I won't have to make up my mind."
"Just do it. He's not going to make a scene over an introduction, even if for some weird reason he wanted to." Tommy gave in and grabbed another shot off the rapidly-emptying tray. "Kurt's cool."
Wanda shook her head. "Not tonight. It's your birthday; I don't want to chance anyone starting anything. I mean, I know you say Kurt won't? But TJ's here. And Pietro." She grinned and shrugged. "We're low profiling. Or, y'know, as much as we can."
"Suit yourself." Tommy let it drop. TJ and Wanda was a mess he wasn't about to get in the middle of, that was for damned sure. "On that note, wanna dance?"
"Always." Wanda got to her feet and grinned. "Any chance if we drag your brother out there, we can keep him from making an ass of himself?"
Tommy laughed aloud. "Not a chance. But you're welcome to try."
She laughed as well, and started towards the dance floor, her eyes already scanning the crowd for a glimpse of her other son. "I can't understand that. He's at least a quarter Romani. He shouldn't be capable of dancing that badly."
"That quarter obviously doesn't include his feet."
"Does the fact that makes sense mean I shouldn't have taken that last shot?" Wanda caught sight of Billy and waved her arm over her head, trying to summon him over.
It wasn't going to work -- Tommy'd eat his hat if Billy was aware of anything other than the meathead. But he didn't bother saying anything. "That or you've been spending too much time hanging out around me," he cracked.
"That's gotta be it. Definitely." Wanda gave up trying to get Billy's attention and turned to Tommy with a challenging smirk. "Let's see what you inherited."
"So, sixteen, huh?" Wanda asked as she walked up to Tommy. Her outfit wasn't what she'd have normally worn to the club, mostly because she had a date, after, but she liked how it had come out, anyway. In any case, she doubted Tommy'd give a fuck what she wore so long as she came, and it wasn't like she'd have missed it. "Y'know, if you tell people that more than a couple of days ahead, they have time to go shopping and get you shit."
She'd come! Not that he'd been waiting for her or anything, but he'd gotten used to having Wanda around in the spring and the last couple of months had been weird, only seeing her once in a while. And half the time she was hanging out with Scott, which was a big fat no-thank-you. "Why would anybody buy me shit?" Tommy asked, looping a casual arm around her shoulders for a hug before she could elbow him and tell him to get off. "If you're feeling weirdly flush tonight you can get the first round, how's that?"
"I was going to offer, believe it or not." Wanda rolled her eyes, smiled, and slipped her arm around his waist to hug him back. "How've you been, kiddo?" she asked as she steered him towards the bar.
"Hell of a lot better than last year this time," he grinned, never really sure how to answer that question. "And tonight's going to be good times. How're things at M this week?" He needed to go over, see Yana and harass Pietro if they didn't end up showing at the club.
"Same old, same old." Wanda smirked. "Whatever you do, don't ask Pietro about anything related to PR - you'll get a lecture on whatever the current theory is that he's studying. Beyond that? Nothing super exciting."
Tommy quirked a brow up. "Is he planning on showing up? He's not seriously studying tonight."
"He's here," Wanda assured him. "Pretty sure he's on the dance floor already. He wouldn't not come to this, any more than I wouldn't." She waved for the bartender to come over as she slipped onto a stool. "What do you want? It's on me."
"Vodka and Red Bull, if you can convince him to serve us. Or is that what the cleavage is for?" Tommy asked, shaking his head in mock disapproval. "Why's Pietro studying pr?"
"That. Plus my ID. And, y'know, maybe I've got a date after this." Wanda smirked at Tommy, then pulled out her ID and showed it to the bartender, who made a show of eyeing it and then her as an excuse for checking out the afore-mentioned cleavage. "Pietro's trying to figure out how to get our message across, seeing as the media's scrambling it every chance they get. Can't hurt anything."
"A date?" Tommy slouched back against the bar, elbows on the edge. "Who with?" The only guy that she hung out with that seemed even remotely likely (as in, not related to her, not dating someone she was related to, and not gross - Mort) was Scott, and that was both deeply fucking annoying, and equally unlikely. Unless it was another one of those group things that seemed to be so common around the school. It had better not be Scott.
"Mmm...better question, should I tell you that? Or are you going to give me shit about it?" Wanda eyed Tommy speculatively and smirked. "Besides, I think you need to tell me all about the girl you were dancing with earlier first. Wynonna, I think her name is?"
"I'll tell you, but it'll cost you," Tommy grinned, mischief in his green eyes. "Wynonna Earp, fastest gun this side of the Mississippi. Who's yours?"
"Clint Barton, archery enthusiast," Wanda countered, returning his grin. She accepted the drinks without really even looking at the bartender, and slid Tommy's over to him. "She's that fast, huh? Did you find out because she shot you?"
He grabbed his glass and saluted her with it. "I offered to do a speed trial, but she hasn't taken me up on it yet. I'm not worried." He took a swig, then gave Wanda a considering look. "Clint, hunh. You know most of those guys are going to be a mess for a while."
"You've met my teammates, haven't you?" Wanda countered. "I've got plenty of experience dealing with messes. Anyway, he's nice, I like him. We're just seeing where it goes." She grinned. "So far, it's gone to a second date. How long have you and Wynonna been a thing?"
There was 'general mess' and there was 'fucking traumatized,' but Tommy didn't feel like going there. Not when he was only a year out himself and had been through a lot less shit than they had. He didn't exactly have the right to complain.
"Billy introduced us a while back, but it's been a thing since- since, yeah, April Fool's Day. Go figure," he grinned back. "She's cool. And hot. It's a good combination."
"I'm glad." And she was, honestly - and reassured, in a way, that Billy'd introduced them. While she'd never really met Billy's boyfriend, she had more faith in his judgement than she did in Tommy's. After all, Tommy'd been doing - whatever it was he'd been doing with Fatale. This Wynonna could only be a step up. "Though it seems like I should've gotten a chance to meet her by now. Do I get to do the whole 'What are your intentions regarding my son?" thing?"
That was just about enough to make him cough on his drink, coming really damn close to getting red bull up his nose. "She doesn't even know that I have a mother, never mind whatever the hell this is-" he gestured back and forth between them. "And I'm pretty sure her intentions boil down to 'making out on a regular basis.' Which I'm good with."
Wanda smirked, both at Tommy's discomfiture and his words. "Maybe. But you telling me that is nowhere near as amusing as potentially watching her squirm." Also not what she'd hoped to hear, but who knew, maybe it'd grow into more than that.
'Is that supposed to be selling me on the request? 'cause you need to work on your pitch some more," Tommy shot back, regaining his equilibrium.
"Well, she's here. I'm pretty sure I don't need your permission," Wanda pointed out. "But I'll make you a deal instead. I won't harass her, you don't harass Clint." She made a face. "He'll get enough of it from Pietro when he finds out."
"I have approximately zero plans to harass Clint," Tommy confirmed readily. "I'm more concerned about the electronic appliances over at Asteroid M if it all goes to hell because he's only a couple of months out from the gulag. None of us are exactly what you'd call 'well-balanced.'" He wrinkled his nose and chugged half his drink in one go. It tingled some on the way down, and he hung on to that feeling.
"Wow. Y'know, I must've missed that. Right along with Alex staring at walls and Fatale throwing knives at them." The glasses on the bar began rattling, despite the fact the floor and the bar itself remained unmoving. "But here's the thing? I'm not exactly well-balanced myself. I'd like to think that doesn't make me totally un-dateable."
Tommy glanced at the glasses, then back at her, nonplussed. "It's staggering the number of ways what I said wasn't actually about you," he pointed out. "All I'm saying is go easy on the guy. It was months before I stopped checking every corner before going to sleep, and I'm the least fucked up out of all of us so far. It's gonna take the new gang longer to decompress." At least Wanda wasn't the kind of person who would try and heal the ~poor wounded creature~ with the power of ~twu wuv~ or whatever bullshit. That would be a fast train to disasterville.
"And what I'm saying is that needing time to decompress doesn't make him undateable," Wanda observed, though she took a deep breath and made the glasses stop rattling. "Plus, surprise surprise, he asked me out, so apparently he's feeling ready for it. If he needs to check around corners or skip out on going to the club for your birthday, I really don't have a problem with that."
Fine, so she wasn't planning to listen. Not like it was his problem whether she did or not. "You know what? Not my circus," Tommy shrugged, repeating the same thing he'd told TJ weeks ago. "Not my monkeys. Forget I said anything."
"Not hard, when you're not coming out and saying what you mean." Go easy on him was supposed to mean what, exactly? Honestly. Nonetheless, Wanda brushed that aside. "Anyway, I've got an offer for you. For your birthday."
"Aw, mom, you bought me a car," he teased, clasping his hands -- and his drink -- over his heart. "You shouldn't have."
"Yeaaah, that's definitely it. Nevermind that I don't have a car." Wanda swatted at his leg, making no real attempt to actually hit it, and smirked. "Anyway, you'd just complain that you were faster than the car, and I'd have to listen to it. Fuck that."
"That's true," Tommy conceded cheerfully. "Though I kind of want to get my license now just to see if Billy will get one in order to keep up with me. Watching him try to parallel park would be worth it."
Wanda snorted. "You realize he'd just wish the car parallel parked, right? And it'll somehow just move itself into place."
Tommy sighed. "You two take all the fun out of everything."
"Yeah, I pride myself on that." Wanda smirked. "But I'm willing to make up for it. Did you want to get drunk? Like, actually fucked up drunk?"
Not possible, he was about to jog her memory, but duh, she was Pietro's sister and didn't need the reminder. Did he, if it were? A chance to let everything go, leave all the fucked up crap in his brain behind and just be?
(Forget that the Right had done shit to him and push his powers too far, hit light speed or some shit and never find his way back. Or worse. Not be able to use them at all and not be able to move if something-or someone-came for him again.)
Tommy finished the drink in his hand, waiting for the fleeting moment of warmth to come and go. "What did you have in mind?" He asked, more cautious than intrigued.
"Slow you down long enough for the alcohol to kick in," Wanda explained. "I figured out how to do it to Pietro to get his painkillers to work. It'll still wear off faster than it would for anyone else," she admitted. "I can't hold it that long. But with a little effort, you could get seriously shit-faced."
She meant well, Wanda wouldn't hurt him, he knew that. Even still, the thought made his skin crawl and his feet itch, and he had to fight off the urge to bolt. "No," he said quickly-- too quickly. "Nah, I'm good," he forced out more slowly. He'd joked about trying out Wynonna's gun on him, but that had only been because he was absolutely sure he could outrun it. Someone focusing on him, turning his power off, forcing him slow, filling his mind up with fog? Not again. No. "I like my powers where they are, even if it means missing the truly delightful experience of a major hangover."
"Yeah well, Tylenol and a shitload of water take care of that," Wanda counselled, but waved it aside. She'd promised him never to fuck with his powers without his permission; she wasn't about to do it now. "Stubborn ass speedsters," she said instead, fondly. "How do you feel about tequila shots, then? Because I've heard they can fuck up pretty much anyone."
"Sure, if you're buying," Tommy grinned. "Are you trying to set me up for blackmail material? Did Illyana put you up to it or something?"
"Pretty sure Illyana'd do her own dirty work," Wanda pointed out, then smirked. "But no. I just figure I got drunk on my sixteenth, it should be a family tradition or something. And I'm guessing it's going to be harder to get you fucked up than it will Billy."
"Billy's a lightweight. Two drinks in and he's telling the planet how much he loves everyone on it." Tommy snorted, but it held a lot more affection than he'd ever admit if called on it. "I'm not going for 'totally blitzed' tonight anyway. I missed last birthday, I wanna remember this one."
"Fair enough." Wanda called the bartender back and ordered a half dozen shots. "Should we get him over here for this?" She smirked. "Or maybe your new girlfriend?"
"If you can peel him off of Altman, be my guest," Tommy replied dryly. "And I don't have a girlfriend. But Wynonna's always down for some fun, if that's who you mean."
Wanda looked around and found that, as predicted, Billy was pretty much attached to his boyfriend. "Yeah, I think it'd take more than me to accomplish that. Is he really an alien?"
"So he says. I wasn't around when it all went down, but Kitty and a few other guys saw the spaceship too, so it wasn't some kind of two-person hallucination." Tommy followed Wanda's gaze and watched them for a couple of seconds longer. "And get this. Hes not just an alien, he's apparently prince alien. Billy was freaking out about what will happen when Teddy has to go back to space and be emperor someday." Tommy shook his head. "And I thought our family tree situation was weird."
"Our family tree situation is so far beyond weird it needs its own dimension. Preferably one without demons. Do you figure he'll go along, be the Emperor's Consort or something?" Wanda asked curiously.
Tommy looked away from the irritating couple and scouted to see if the bartender was coming with those shots. "Who wouldn't? Depends if they're still a thing by then, I guess. And Billy's hopelessly attached to his parents, but I can't see him turning that one down." And why wouldn't he? It wasn't like Tommy was important enough to make him think twice about leaving Earth. "But a lot can happen in a few years."
"True. Most high school relationships don't make it past high school." Wanda grinned crookedly. "Or so they say on TV anyway. I wouldn't, though. I mean, no clue just how far away the Skrull empire is? But I'm thinking it's too far to commute."
"He can teleport, so that makes a difference. No idea if that can get him as far as another galaxy or not, but I have the feeling they'll try and find out." Tommy was bored with the topic now, and he looked away. And perfect timing. "There's Wynonna. If I bring her over, are you going to be nice?" he grinned at Wanda knowingly.
"Probably not." Wanda smirked. "She's my potential daughter-in-law, I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be awful to her."
"Fuck that noise. Do that and I'm going to start calling Clint 'dad.' See how long that lasts."
"Already told him." Wanda shrugged and smirked. "I didn't trust you and Billy not to."
Tommy shook his head, but his lips twitched up at the corners. "Don't lump me in with that blabbermouth. The fewer times I have to say things like "retro-reincarnation," the happier I am. I say we just all agree to say 'cousins' and leave it at that."
"But then I'd have to stop getting you obnoxious t-shirts and coffee mugs," Wanda pointed out. The bartender finally made his way over with a tray full of shots, a couple of cut up limes, and a salt shaker. She smirked. "Besides, everyone has cousins. I have teenage twins who are only two years younger than I am. It's a definitely conversation starter.
"It's something, that's for sure." Tommy snagged a shot glass off the tray, ignoring the pointed look the bartender sent in his direction. "Hang on to us-them next time around, alright? The alternative in this timeline sucked." He paused, and reconsidered, then admitted grudgingly, "Billy did alright, mind you. The Kaplans are solid."
"Yeah, I met them - well, his mom, anyway. She was cool." Wanda sighed, handed over money for the shots, and helped herself to one. And debated, not for the first time, just what to say to Tommy that he wouldn't just shut out or bail. Maybe just ignoring the lead-in was best? "Anyway, I can't see myself just losing you guys to the time stream or whatever, but for all we know, you two were eighty years old and I was long dead. Unless Simon told Billy something he didn't pass on."
"Not that he mentioned to me, and I've been on the receiving end of a bunch of his rambling about this stuff. He's not super-stellar at hiding things." The smell of the tequila snaked around his senses. New Years - that had been the last time he'd had the stuff. He was momentarily tempted to put it back down, but making new associations was a better plan.
"See? So I'm choosing to believe I was an awesome mom," Wanda said smugly. She licked her hand, sprinkled it with salt, and handed him the shaker.
He swiped it, easier than going where that conversation wanted to go, and followed suit. "Cheers," he offered, lifting his shot glass in Wanda's general direction.
Wanda held hers up in turn, smirked, then licked off the salt, took the shot, and reached for the lime.
Tommy followed suit, the tequila burning a line down the throat differently than the vodka mixer he'd slammed before it. He slid the lime between his teeth, flashing a green rind-smile at Wanda right after.
Wanda rolled her eyes and smirked at him as she bit into her own. "Brat. C'mon, two for one here."
He wrinkled his nose and shook his head, taking the lime rind out of his mouth to reply. "Pass. I'd rather spread the wealth. The last time I came close to getting shitfaced, things got weird," he confessed, the memory of the gazebo poking back in where he didn't want it. I've got the better twin. "Better to keep my brain where I can see it."
"You have one?" Wanda teased, then shook her head, her expression shifting to concerned. "What happened?"
Tommy rolled his eyes at her, then shrugged uncomfortably. "Pam got some weed off Pietro and we smoked up, right after she and Alex got to the school. It was fine, until she started being weird. Saying that she'd 'got' me. No-one 'has' me," Tommy poked an emphatic finger at the top of the bar, that familiar, awful panic settling in deep again. "Especially not if I'm just being collected for backup purposes."
Wanda sighed, and reached over and rested her hand on his. "Hey. Whatever was going on there - and I'm not pretending to have a clue, because honestly, I tried to stay as far away from it as possible? I doubt it was backup. If for no other reason than because there's no fucking way Alex would ever leave her, or vice versa. We all knew that from the first week. She had to know that, too."
"Yeah. I'm aware." Tommy reached around her arm and grabbed another shot glass from the collection, ignoring his moments-ago decision not to go for it. "I don't mean backup like that. But I've done more than my share of being second-best, least important. Not going there again."
"You deserve better than that," Wanda agreed. She watched him take the shotglass with concern, though. Somehow, she didn't think he was as blase about it all as he pretended, not if he was scooping up the shot he'd just said he didn't want. "And now you found it, right? Wynonna? Or is she just to help you get over it?"
Tommy went through the ritual at high speed, not letting himself think about the taste of salt on someone else's skin. The tequila hit hard and fast, but the burn and rush was gone - as per usual - before he spoke again. "It's an undefined kind of thing. It's better that way," he pointed out. "No-one staking territory claims, and no-one's making promises they don't plan to keep. I'm sixteen and I'm having fun."
"There's nothing wrong with that," Wanda agreed, then added softly, "But I'm not sure it's gonna put you in someone's top spot, either. And it sounds like that's what you really want."
Tommy shrugged, already regretting ever opening his mouth. "If some hypothetical someone had a top spot open and wanted to put me there, they would. Slapping labels on shit and locking someone down is the fastest road to making you hate each other."
Wanda shrugged. "Hey, don't look at me. I'm just going on my first second date; I'm not claiming to be an expert. Pietro and Lance seem to be doing okay, despite finally giving things a name."
"I give it a year, tops, before it's nothing but fights about who has to take out the garbage or who drunk-sexted whose ex from the bar."
"Cynical much?" Wanda reached for another shot. "Besides, you need a different example. I'm not sure either of them even has an ex, and they've been arguing about the garbage for years."
"Whatever, you know what I meant." Tommy rested his elbows on the bar and watched the dance floor, disengaging from the conversation. "You stick a name on something, make it official, that's when it turns into expectations." He flashed her a sharp, bright grin. "But if no-one expects anything, then you can't disappoint them." Or the other way around. "Speaking of which, have you heard anything from your dad?"
"Nice segue," Wanda deadpanned, but shook her head. "Nothing. I can't decide if I should be worried or cursing him out, so I'm doing both on alternate days. And trying to act like it's no big deal, so if you can not mention it around anyone else, I'd appreciate it."
"No sweat. Same goes back to you. The last thing I need is Billy latching on to my bullshit and trying to psychoanalyze me. He spends too much time with his mother." Tommy rolled his eyes.
"Fair. I liked his mom, though," Wanda admitted. "She could've made things really fucking weird, and she didn't."
Yeah, there weren't a lot of people out there who would take the sudden appearance of their kid's double and some weird girl claiming to be his mother-from-another-universe nearly as well as the Kaplans. It made him seriously curious to find out how they'd take Billy's whole 'by the way, I'm gay and my boyfriend is an alien' thing, but the way he was going that wouldn't happen for another decade. "They're alright," Tommy agreed. "Even his little brothers aren't total shitstains. It gives one hope for the future," he cracked, only semi-serious.
"Please. You, the eternal pessimist, have hope for the future? Who are you, and when did you replace Tommy with a shapeshifting alien?" Wanda asked, her eyes narrowing suspiciously, though her lips twitched as she reached for another shot.
"Nope. That'd be your future son-in-law," Tommy shot back, not bothering to hide his own grin. "My goal is to get the baby Kaplans to be utterly insufferable by the end of the summer."
"So what, you're going to offer to babysit them?" Wanda laughed. She went through the motions and took another shot, then gestured at the empty glass. "See what you do to me? You're driving me to drink now, just thinking about those poor little kids. Or, y'know, what'll happen to the rest of the city by the time you're done with them."
"Babysitting?" he snorted. "Fuck no. No-one in their right mind would leave me in charge of a kid. But the Kaplans keep asking me over for dinner and stuff so they get exposed to the wonder that is me on a regular basis, at least for the moment. We'll see how long that lasts before I wear out my welcome," he grinned, a sharp edge to it.
"And what, then they disinvite you and you run into that forcefield effect type of thing at the door? I knew we'd forgotten to do something at the base." Wanda rolled her eyes at him and smiled. "You're being an idiot, y'know. You're not that awful."
"Who said anything about being awful?" Tommy pretended to be offended, flattening one hand against his chest. "I can't help it if my awesome becomes blinding."
"Yeah, because that's definitely a thing. Blinding." Wanda shook her head, then smiled at him. "And then you wonder why everyone assumed you were a Pietro clone."
Tommy laughed, shaking his head. "He wishes. He can be my stunt double, if he can keep up with me."
Wanda laughed as well. "Kinda want to see that race, now. Except we'd need a third speedster just to proclaim the winner."
"There are four of us kicking around, you know," Tommy pointed out. "I'm pretty sure JP is actually faster than me now, but don't tell him I admitted that."
"I haven't met the other two - seen, yes, met, no. Though the girl came to our party, and I'm pretty sure I saw her here?" Wanda replied, looking around the room.
"Yeah, Jean-Paul got boyfriended up and vanished off the face of the planet," Tommy shrugged it off as if he didn't care. "Jeanne-Marie's here, though, and she's awesome. She and Kurt are going out," he added as an afterthought.
"Interesting." Wanda grinned, a little. "Still haven't really met Kurt. Probably should sometime, huh? What does he say about the whole daughter thing?"
"Billy-levels of well," Tommy reported with a grin. "But come on -- he's perfectly primed to accept the weird and wonderful into his life."
"Considering he looks like a fuzzy blue elf? I'd say he's well acquainted with weirdness, yeah." Wanda shrugged. "I can never decide if I should go say hi or not. I keep thinking maybe he will, and then I won't have to make up my mind."
"Just do it. He's not going to make a scene over an introduction, even if for some weird reason he wanted to." Tommy gave in and grabbed another shot off the rapidly-emptying tray. "Kurt's cool."
Wanda shook her head. "Not tonight. It's your birthday; I don't want to chance anyone starting anything. I mean, I know you say Kurt won't? But TJ's here. And Pietro." She grinned and shrugged. "We're low profiling. Or, y'know, as much as we can."
"Suit yourself." Tommy let it drop. TJ and Wanda was a mess he wasn't about to get in the middle of, that was for damned sure. "On that note, wanna dance?"
"Always." Wanda got to her feet and grinned. "Any chance if we drag your brother out there, we can keep him from making an ass of himself?"
Tommy laughed aloud. "Not a chance. But you're welcome to try."
She laughed as well, and started towards the dance floor, her eyes already scanning the crowd for a glimpse of her other son. "I can't understand that. He's at least a quarter Romani. He shouldn't be capable of dancing that badly."
"That quarter obviously doesn't include his feet."
"Does the fact that makes sense mean I shouldn't have taken that last shot?" Wanda caught sight of Billy and waved her arm over her head, trying to summon him over.
It wasn't going to work -- Tommy'd eat his hat if Billy was aware of anything other than the meathead. But he didn't bother saying anything. "That or you've been spending too much time hanging out around me," he cracked.
"That's gotta be it. Definitely." Wanda gave up trying to get Billy's attention and turned to Tommy with a challenging smirk. "Let's see what you inherited."
