ax_main | Simon and Warren, backdated

After Jean-Paul finds out Simon's about to leave for a while, Warren checks in. Simon is baffled at Warren's interest in his future. Because Simon.

Warren managed to knock on the lab door with one knee. In either hand, be carried a medium sized and very green power smoothie: high energy, low sugar, no caffeine. Healthy for boyfriends who worked even harder than he did.

And yes, jean-Paul had mentioned some time ago that a little extra attention might be good for Simon. So Warren deliverers whenever he could. Like now... assuming Simon wasn’t super busy and kicked him out. But hey, at least he could leave the smoothie?

Simon looked up from a microscope and started to frown - before realizing it was Warren. And then he couldn't help the small smile that came to his lips as he pushed to his feet and unlocked the lab door to let his boyfriend in. "What are you doing?"

"Hoping you won't kick me out?" Warren offered up a smoothie and a smile. "New recipe, taking into consideration your disdain for sugar and the fact that you don't like to stop working to eat."

"Then again, I have tastebuds, too," Simon told him, taking the smoothie and looking down at it suspiciously. He didn't trust the words 'new recipe' from anyone but Jean-Paul, and sometimes not even then.

Warren laughed, feathers ruffling behind him unconsciously. “I didn’t invent it, I swear! I found it on a food blog—and tried it first.”

Watching those wings, and the way they betrayed Warren's mood, Simon stepped closer, then took a sip of the concoction. It was...surprisingly tasteful, and he quirked a small smile at the blond. "Well, at least someone knows what they're doing."

"My greatest business skill is finding people who know what they're doing," Warren assured him, still smiling. He couldn't bring himself to breach the subject that was preying on his mind. If they didn't talk about it, it wasn't real, right? "How's it going down here?"

Simon looked around, blinking for a moment. Since when had Warren truly wanted to know about the ins and outs of his work? He opened his mouth to reply, then looked back at him. "You aren't really here to talk about that, are you?"

Warren hung his head, wings dropping. “Well, not specifically, no. I did come to check in on you.” Which wasn’t unusual, except... “you okay?”
Simon sighed. The concern from his boyfriends was both touching and bewildering. If anything, he would have thought they’d enjoy some time alone together. But no, they were acting like he was dying. Then again, after that breakdown he had on Jean-Paul, maybe the concern was warranted.

“I’m...” He started to lie, then stopped. “I’m not great. I need some time to think.”

"I get it." Warren made a face, then, of a sudden. "Sorry, stupid ass question. Obviously we both know you're not okay.

"Can you tell me what you're working through, though? Or is it muddled up?" Warren didn't want to push. Simon was the guy he came to when he needed to talk things through and it... was slightly disappointing, or something like it, that he couldn't fill that role for Simon. Warren told himself he filled other roles, he had importance, but it was there, nagging in the back of his mind.

No reason to push, but a reason to ask at least. He'd want Simon to ask.

Simon glanced up at him. "I thought Jean-Paul would have told you by now."

Warren shook his head. "Not much; probably thought it was your story to tell. But I know it's enough that you need to get away to wrap your head around it." I go running with you; you go off to find yourself. Fair enough. Warren's internal sigh made him want to roll his eyes at himself. God, he was a brat.

Breathing out through his nose, Simon moved toward a small couch on the far wall to sit, the smoothie forgotten. "I'm having a crisis of purpose. I ended up having a small breakdown on Jean-Paul only by virtue of him being at the wrong place at the wrong time."

Smiling a little sadly, Warren nodded and followed to sit on the arm of the couch, nearly in Simon's lap, so his wings could hang over the side. "He said you could probably use some extra hugs. It was enough to guess something like that happened. Though I think he'd argue it was right place, right time. Me too."

"Difference of opinion," Simon told him, stroking a hand over Warren's leg. "In any case I...I'm going to the colleges to try to make a decision. I'm trying to decide whether I'll study emergency medicine, as was my plan, or turn my attention to mutant genetics, now that it's clear that there are things like mutant healers in the world." (And aliens, and different dimensions, and fish-men, and time travel...)

Warren considered, brow furrowed, feathers rustling thoughtfully for just a few silent seconds. "Not everyone is going to have access to a mutant healer. And not all of them will have your knowledge. But... I can't say I wouldn't feel the same."

Simon looked up at him, a little relieved. "You don't think I'm exaggerating?"

Warren shook his head. “I wouldn’t say that at all. Now you mention it it’s a pretty sane reaction.

“I don’t think it’s looking at the whole picture, but that’s easier said than done. Learning that the hard way myself. That’s why I always hijack your runs.”

"Another opinion is nice," Simon agreed quietly. "But I suppose, right now, I just feel like I need some time to remind myself who I am. Or figure out who I want to be."

Warren chuckled silently and scrubbed at his face with his free hand. “Alone with my thoughts for days. Sounds hellish, but if it’s what you want, then I’m glad you’re gonna get it.”

Simon glanced over at him. "You know I'll be busy, don't you? Half of the professors want to meet with me, and I have full tours of each medical and research facility planned. It's not as though I'm going to be sitting alone in a log cabin on top of a mountain."

“I’d feel less alone in that cabin than I would in a room full of people I don’t care about—or who don’t care about me.” Warren smiled wryly. Story of his life. “But that’s me.

“And I am pretty excited to see how things shake out with the college situation while you’re gone.”

Simon raised a brow. “Why is that?”

"It's an exciting thing," Warren pointed out, wings ruffling. "Who will impress you? Who will you impress--apart from everyone, obviously? It's like--what direction will the next years of your life take? How could I not be interested?"

“I never knew you were so invested in my future,” Simon told him with a small, wry smile.

Warren blinked a few times. "... really?" Usually, he could tell when Simon was being ironic. Which was most of the time. But that one hit a slightly raw patch considering the situation.

It was Warren's surprise that brought Simon up short, forcing him to rethink what he'd said. Still, he couldn't grasp the issue. "It's my career, not yours..."

"Is this why...?" Warren stopped himself before he could ask, 'why you don't talk to me like I talk to you?' Simon had already answered that, basically. He needed to stop making this about him, goddammit. What a completely dickface he was. Ugh. "What I mean is, like, I'm way more interested in your career and life than in mine, even. Where you go, what you do, how you make decisions and how they affect you... That's all really big to me.

"And--I'm really sorry I never told you that before," he admitted, all earnestness. "I hope it didn't make all this--confusing stuff harder." Okay, so he had to make it a little bit about himself.

Simon just turned to face him...and stare at him. It didn't make sense. How could his life be more interesting than Warren's? "I...don't understand."

"Well, you care about my life. Or you're really good at faking it," Warren pointed out, brow furrowing. He was confused by Simon's confusion. "Every time I talk to you about things, you always have really astute observations or helpful suggestions. That implies.. a level of interest the average person wouldn't have, right?"

"I...suppose I didn't think of it like that." It was shameful, really, how much Simon had never thought about Warren's interest in him for anything other than sex. He took it at face value that Warren and Jean-Paul cared about him to a certain extent, but it didn't register with him that that care could extend to his life, decisions, and future. "While my research and work are important, I didn't think you'd have an opinion on how I got there."

"So you... didn't think I'd care what you did next year and how you decided to do it?" Warren actually smiled a little as he started to wrap his mind around it. "That's literally the kind of crap I come to you to talk about. I mean I know I talk a lot, but that doesn't mean I don't want you to talk back." Note to self: ask more pointed questions. He's not gonna come to you.

Simon blew out a sigh, then ran a hand up Warren's thigh. "I'm sorry. I should have known better. I'm used to people not wanting to take an interest in my life. They ask, sure, for about five minutes, then get bored and walk away."

"I mean, I know most of our deep talks end in sex, but it's not because I got bored," Warren said with a chuckle. He leaned in and kissed Simon's hair.

"You say that now," Simon pointed out, "but if I tried to talk to you about the research article I read last night on a genetic map being created of human blood proteins that play a part in infectious diseases, you would probably turn to sex pretty fast."

“Orrrrr I’d ask you to tell me what about it interests you and how it relates to your own work.” Warren made a face. “Trust me, I can find something interesting in anything. It’s an essential people skill. And how this relates to what goes on in your brain all day? That’s interesting.

“Plus, it might even be useful to you: they say you can’t really understand something if you can’t explain it to a layman.” Warren’s grin went playful.

Simon laughed softly. "How about I explain the difference between Harvard and Johns Hopkins facilities and professionals instead?"

“I’ll take it,” Warren said with a laugh. He made a mental note to ask Simon more questions... but try not to annoy or distract him. It was gonna be a balance, but once Simon came home, he was sure he could do it.