Kitty and Bobby | June 15
Jun. 15th, 2018 10:54 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ax_mainWhen Kitty sets off to vacation at Nolan's beach house, she and Bobby come to a shaky realization.
Kitty folded a pair of shorts and then promptly tossed them into the suitcase, ruining her folding job entirely. Sue her, she had other things on her mind than being neat. Instead, she had her attention focused on her boyfriend. "It's just going to be a few days," she told him. "Nolan offered for me to check out his, you know, beach house or whatever, and I accepted."
"Oh, his beach house. Verrry nice," Bobby tossed back just a bit snarkily. He was plopped back across Kitty's bed, legs hanging down the side, and was tossing the baseball he'd brought with him in an attempt to lure Kitty outside up and catching it. Trying to look casual. Because yeah, he was perfectly fine with his girlfriend taking off with her handsome, rich, brilliant lab partner for a few days in the Hamptons, thank you very much. Of course he was.
She looked up at that, a frown knitting her brow. "Bobby. You know we're just friends, right? He's going to the beach house and he said I could come stay. It's not like... you know."
"Mmhmm," Bobby replied noncommittally. "And you jumped at that. Can't blame you; here's pretty boring compared to the Hamptons. Or, y'know, so I've heard." Which...okay, he really needed to stop being a shit about this, didn't he? Except somehow, he was having a hard time remembering that whenever he opened his mouth.
Kitty's eyes narrowed a little. She would have expected that kind of attitude from pretty much any other guy at the school, but Bobby? He was like the epitome of understanding. At least. Usually. She started to second guess herself, then abruptly cut that out. No. Nope. She wasn't going to deny herself the chance to get a little R&R alone just because it didn't look right. She wasn't going to feel guilty (or be made to feel guilty) about not taking him along, either. Because, truth be told, things had been weird with them for awhile now, and she just did not need that weirdness on top of everything else. "Yeah," she told him. "I jumped at it. I jumped at the chance to be alone on a beach an hour away from here. Do you have a problem with that?"
Did he? He shouldn't. He knew that. And it wasn't that he did, exactly. Except...he kinda did. "No," he hedged. "But I kinda doubt you'll be alone all that much. You and No-No spend a lot of time together already."
She flushed immediately, and she knew that was a bad sign, but just hearing him use her nickname for Nolan like that was both embarrassing...and a little infuriating. He didn't have any right. Then again, she wasn't sure she'd ever told him that. "The whole idea of the trip is to get away from normal work and normal life, Bobby! And you know it's not like that. Nolan has a boyfriend! And even if he didn't, it's not like that." Not really. Mostly.
"Nolan has a boyfriend, Jean-Paul has two, and I'm pretty sure Tommy was sleeping with both Fatale and her boyfriend when the Brotherhood was here last fall," Bobby said defensively. "It could be like that. And is it that awful here that you have to get away from it with the same guy you spend all your time with here?" He regretted that the moment he said it - Kitty'd had a hell of a year, and he understood why she'd want to get away - but wasn't sure how to take it back, other than to send her an apologetic look.
Anger, white hot, bloomed in her chest, and she was about to tell him off when she caught that afterthought of a look. Still, she shot him an angry glare of her own. "Yes. Yes, I do, and it's not like I'm going to be around him the whole time. All I want to do is curl up under an umbrella by the pool with my new audiobook and ignore everything. Is that so hard to believe?"
"No," Bobby admitted. He sat up and self-consciously rubbed at the back of his neck, eyes shrinking away from Kitty's glare. Because yeah, okay, he deserved that. He tried to think of some way to dig himself out of the hole he'd gotten himself in, and came up blank.
No. That was it? One word. No. Kitty felt that weirdness coalescing around her again, and she rubbed at her head, trying to stave off the headache she could feel coming. "Bobby. Is it...is it just Nolan you're worried about? Or is it...is it that I'm not taking you with me?"
Bobby shrugged, eyes dropping towards the floor. Which was, generally speaking, a lot cleaner looking than his and Kurt's. Nice floor, really. "Kinda gotta wonder if I'm one of the things you're trying to get away from," he admitted.
Oh, ugh, that hit so close to home that it hurt. Kitty turned and sat her butt down on the edge of the bed, not knowing how to answer that.
Aaaand that answered that, didn't it? "Right. I'm one of the things you're trying to get away from." Bobby grimaced and rubbed at his forehead.
"It's not you!" Kitty protested, looking up. "I love you. It's...this. This...whatever between us."
"Umm...I'm pretty sure the word you're looking for is relationship?" Bobby frowned. "I'm not sure how that fits with the I love you part, though." So, maybe not? He decided not to jump to any conclusions this time.
"Is it, though?" she sighed, frowning at him. "You can't tell me it's just me. I love you. I care about you a lot! But I don't know that I'm in love with you. I'm not sure I've ever been."
Not jumping to conclusions, check. Bobby's eyes dropped and he grimaced. Because...that did maybe kinda ring a bell, didn't it? He loved Kitty. He had no doubt about that whatsoever. She was important to him, and he loved spending time with her. And yeah, okay, he'd definitely fantasized about doing more with her than they'd done, but...he'd had similar dreams about half the school's population, including one disturbing one about Jean-Paul Beaubier that he'd been trying hard not to think about ever since. But was that "in love"?
He had a feeling it probably wasn't. And had been trying not to think about that for a while, too.
"It's not just you," he admitted weakly.
She wasn't sure if that hurt or if it was a relief. A little bit of both, maybe. "I want to have that," Kitty sighed softly. "I want to be in love with you, but no matter how much I want it...I don't know. Maybe I'm just not capable of it."
"Or more likely, I'm just not the guy you're capable of having that with," Bobby acknowledged. He smiled a little, crookedly. "Let's face it, I'm not exactly Mr. Romance."
Kitty sighed at him, then reached out to twine her fingers with his. "You don't give yourself enough credit. You're romantic. And funny, and sweet, and smart. I'm just not sure you and me work. I mean, the way a relationship is supposed to work."
"So, we do what?" Bobby asked, squeezing her hand, then paused and offered a grin. "And I'm pretty sure this is the first time in the history of forever when 'I'd like to still be friends' might actually be a viable answer? We should get some kind of awards for that. Or a mention in Guinness or something."
She blinked at him. He was grinning. She was pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen in this sort of situation. Also, she was still really on edge about the whole thing. Did she just want to be friends? That was the thing to do, right? But she hated to lose him... But she wasn't losing him! Not...really. "Is that what you want?"
Bobby's grin wavered, then failed utterly, and he rubbed at the back of his neck. "I guess? I mean...what I want is to just keep trying until it all just falls into place? But that's really not fair, I guess."
"No," she agreed softly, then took a deep breath. It wasn't fair. To either of them. But she hadn't expected Bobby to be so mature about the whole thing. 'Mature' wasn't really a descriptor that came to mind when one thought about Bobby Drake.
"No," he echoed. "So, what did you want?"
"Well it's not like I've been thinking, 'hey, Bobby and I should break up'," Kitty huffed softly. "But yeah, I've felt the whole...trying and trying thing."
"No - I mean, I meant moving...forward, I guess. Or on. Or sideways, in intermittent bursts. Or.." Bobby shook his head. Yeah. Rambling now, moving on. "You want to break up, I get that much. What do we do after that? I mean, the traditional thing is to chance Facebook status and go badmouth each other to our friends, but I'm not sure that goes with the whole let's be friends thing. If that's even what you want."
"Oh my gosh, it is, and don't you dare go badmouthing me to Kurt and Tommy! They're my friends too!" Kitty told him, leaning over to slap him on the arm.
"Hey! No hitting the almost-ex-boyfriend!" Bobby protested. "Besides, if I badmouthed you to Kurt and Tommy, I'd have them hitting me. And Scott would make snarky comments about how you'd obviously come to your senses."
"Well, you better tell him that this was all your idea, then, because Scott's a jerk sometimes, and you've been an amazing boyfriend," Kitty grumbled at him. She hated when people put Bobby down, even if she was sure Scott was just joking about that kind of thing.
"Really not my idea, though," he countered, grimacing a little. "And I apparently wasn't amazing enough." If he had been, this wouldn't be happening now.
There it was. Kitty bit down on that aching feeling of guilt that pummeled her gut. Yeah, they could say that this was all about being friends, but deep down, Bobby was going to hold it against her. Or against himself. She didn't know which. She looked away, angry and guilty and sad and part of her thinking, 'maybe we could make it work!' Then another part of her pointed out that they'd probably just keep on giving each other kisses and being cute and pretending it was all fine, but there'd never be anything more to it than that.
Bobby sighed as Kitty looked away, then shook his head and got to his feet. Yeah. That was great, wasn't it? Way to go, Drake, making her miserable. "Sorry. I just..." he shook his head and held out his arms. "Hug it out, and let me wish you a good trip?" he offered.
She looked up, frowning softly. Still, she pushed to her feet and took a step toward him. "I'm the one that should be sorry."
"How 'bout we just agree to split the sorry?" Bobby suggested. "I mean, I think there's probably enough to go around." He stepped in and tentatively wrapped his arms around her.
She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't. She melted into his embrace and wrapped her arms around him too and tried not to think about the fact that he was putting on a little bulk now that he was working with X-Force. Ugh, there was so much she loved about him, even if there wasn't a real spark. Did she really want to ruin it? But he'd admitted himself - it wasn't just her. "Yeah," she finally breathed, her voice a little strained, "I guess I wasn't an amazing girlfriend, either."
"Bullshit. You're always amazing," Bobby assured her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, pulled back a little and forced a smile. Because yeah, she was. Maybe sparks weren't all that important? He was never going to find anyone like her again, let alone anyone like her who'd actually date him. Except...she didn't want to, anymore.
She rolled her eyes at him, because maybe he wasn't remembering all the times she'd hidden away in her workshop and had ignored him. She'd put more energy into her work than she had their relationship. "Are we really doing this?"
Bobby shrugged at Kitty's eyeroll - hey, he'd thought so, especially since she pretty much always let him in her workshop when she was down there brooding, provided he brought ice cream. And then took a deep breath and exhaled it. "Yeah," he confirmed, despite the way his stomach felt as if it were plummetting at the thought. "You deserve to find someone you're actually in love with." He forced a trace of a grin, unconvincingly. "Just please let it not be Nolan? Because you guys will dig into that lab and we'll never see you again."
"Ugh!" Kitty threw her hands up in the air. "I'm not in love with Nolan, Bobby!"
"I know that, Kitty!" he replied, throwing his hands in the hair in direct imitation. "I pretty much said that! It was just a really bad joke." He dropped his arms and shrugged. "I'm not sure what else to do at this point."
"Neither am I," she sighed. "I...I don't know how this works."
"Me either." Bobby was quiet for a while, trying to think of something to say when really, there wasn't anything to say. This was it. "I'm...sorry it didn't work out," he said feebly.
"Me too," she told him, then huffed softly, "and I'm not just saying that - I really mean it. I...I wanted it to."
"I know." Bobby forced a smile, and shrugged. "And...on that cheerful note? I'm gonna let you get back to your packing. If you get bored lying around on the beach, send me a text, ok? I'll fill you in on all the oh so exciting things you're missing out on."
Her heart ached for a moment, but she gave a little nod, forcing herself not to tear up. "Right. I will, I promise. Texts and pics."
"Holding you to it." Right. Bigger grin, Bobby, because someone has to, right? And it had to be him, because if he didn't, he was going to break down and look like an idiot. "If you don't? I'll figure out how to freeze the water in the Hamptons."
Kitty narrowed a look at him. "Don't even think about it!"
"Too late, I'm already thinking. If I burn out braincells, it's entirely your fault," Bobby pointed out.
With a huff, she stuck her tongue out at him, then moved to close the door. "Okay, okay, get out before you make me late."
"Going." Bobby headed for the door, then stopped in the doorway and turned back towards her. No smiles now, no jokes - he couldn't think of any. "Take care, Kit," he said quietly before turning and heading out.
Kitty folded a pair of shorts and then promptly tossed them into the suitcase, ruining her folding job entirely. Sue her, she had other things on her mind than being neat. Instead, she had her attention focused on her boyfriend. "It's just going to be a few days," she told him. "Nolan offered for me to check out his, you know, beach house or whatever, and I accepted."
"Oh, his beach house. Verrry nice," Bobby tossed back just a bit snarkily. He was plopped back across Kitty's bed, legs hanging down the side, and was tossing the baseball he'd brought with him in an attempt to lure Kitty outside up and catching it. Trying to look casual. Because yeah, he was perfectly fine with his girlfriend taking off with her handsome, rich, brilliant lab partner for a few days in the Hamptons, thank you very much. Of course he was.
She looked up at that, a frown knitting her brow. "Bobby. You know we're just friends, right? He's going to the beach house and he said I could come stay. It's not like... you know."
"Mmhmm," Bobby replied noncommittally. "And you jumped at that. Can't blame you; here's pretty boring compared to the Hamptons. Or, y'know, so I've heard." Which...okay, he really needed to stop being a shit about this, didn't he? Except somehow, he was having a hard time remembering that whenever he opened his mouth.
Kitty's eyes narrowed a little. She would have expected that kind of attitude from pretty much any other guy at the school, but Bobby? He was like the epitome of understanding. At least. Usually. She started to second guess herself, then abruptly cut that out. No. Nope. She wasn't going to deny herself the chance to get a little R&R alone just because it didn't look right. She wasn't going to feel guilty (or be made to feel guilty) about not taking him along, either. Because, truth be told, things had been weird with them for awhile now, and she just did not need that weirdness on top of everything else. "Yeah," she told him. "I jumped at it. I jumped at the chance to be alone on a beach an hour away from here. Do you have a problem with that?"
Did he? He shouldn't. He knew that. And it wasn't that he did, exactly. Except...he kinda did. "No," he hedged. "But I kinda doubt you'll be alone all that much. You and No-No spend a lot of time together already."
She flushed immediately, and she knew that was a bad sign, but just hearing him use her nickname for Nolan like that was both embarrassing...and a little infuriating. He didn't have any right. Then again, she wasn't sure she'd ever told him that. "The whole idea of the trip is to get away from normal work and normal life, Bobby! And you know it's not like that. Nolan has a boyfriend! And even if he didn't, it's not like that." Not really. Mostly.
"Nolan has a boyfriend, Jean-Paul has two, and I'm pretty sure Tommy was sleeping with both Fatale and her boyfriend when the Brotherhood was here last fall," Bobby said defensively. "It could be like that. And is it that awful here that you have to get away from it with the same guy you spend all your time with here?" He regretted that the moment he said it - Kitty'd had a hell of a year, and he understood why she'd want to get away - but wasn't sure how to take it back, other than to send her an apologetic look.
Anger, white hot, bloomed in her chest, and she was about to tell him off when she caught that afterthought of a look. Still, she shot him an angry glare of her own. "Yes. Yes, I do, and it's not like I'm going to be around him the whole time. All I want to do is curl up under an umbrella by the pool with my new audiobook and ignore everything. Is that so hard to believe?"
"No," Bobby admitted. He sat up and self-consciously rubbed at the back of his neck, eyes shrinking away from Kitty's glare. Because yeah, okay, he deserved that. He tried to think of some way to dig himself out of the hole he'd gotten himself in, and came up blank.
No. That was it? One word. No. Kitty felt that weirdness coalescing around her again, and she rubbed at her head, trying to stave off the headache she could feel coming. "Bobby. Is it...is it just Nolan you're worried about? Or is it...is it that I'm not taking you with me?"
Bobby shrugged, eyes dropping towards the floor. Which was, generally speaking, a lot cleaner looking than his and Kurt's. Nice floor, really. "Kinda gotta wonder if I'm one of the things you're trying to get away from," he admitted.
Oh, ugh, that hit so close to home that it hurt. Kitty turned and sat her butt down on the edge of the bed, not knowing how to answer that.
Aaaand that answered that, didn't it? "Right. I'm one of the things you're trying to get away from." Bobby grimaced and rubbed at his forehead.
"It's not you!" Kitty protested, looking up. "I love you. It's...this. This...whatever between us."
"Umm...I'm pretty sure the word you're looking for is relationship?" Bobby frowned. "I'm not sure how that fits with the I love you part, though." So, maybe not? He decided not to jump to any conclusions this time.
"Is it, though?" she sighed, frowning at him. "You can't tell me it's just me. I love you. I care about you a lot! But I don't know that I'm in love with you. I'm not sure I've ever been."
Not jumping to conclusions, check. Bobby's eyes dropped and he grimaced. Because...that did maybe kinda ring a bell, didn't it? He loved Kitty. He had no doubt about that whatsoever. She was important to him, and he loved spending time with her. And yeah, okay, he'd definitely fantasized about doing more with her than they'd done, but...he'd had similar dreams about half the school's population, including one disturbing one about Jean-Paul Beaubier that he'd been trying hard not to think about ever since. But was that "in love"?
He had a feeling it probably wasn't. And had been trying not to think about that for a while, too.
"It's not just you," he admitted weakly.
She wasn't sure if that hurt or if it was a relief. A little bit of both, maybe. "I want to have that," Kitty sighed softly. "I want to be in love with you, but no matter how much I want it...I don't know. Maybe I'm just not capable of it."
"Or more likely, I'm just not the guy you're capable of having that with," Bobby acknowledged. He smiled a little, crookedly. "Let's face it, I'm not exactly Mr. Romance."
Kitty sighed at him, then reached out to twine her fingers with his. "You don't give yourself enough credit. You're romantic. And funny, and sweet, and smart. I'm just not sure you and me work. I mean, the way a relationship is supposed to work."
"So, we do what?" Bobby asked, squeezing her hand, then paused and offered a grin. "And I'm pretty sure this is the first time in the history of forever when 'I'd like to still be friends' might actually be a viable answer? We should get some kind of awards for that. Or a mention in Guinness or something."
She blinked at him. He was grinning. She was pretty sure that wasn't supposed to happen in this sort of situation. Also, she was still really on edge about the whole thing. Did she just want to be friends? That was the thing to do, right? But she hated to lose him... But she wasn't losing him! Not...really. "Is that what you want?"
Bobby's grin wavered, then failed utterly, and he rubbed at the back of his neck. "I guess? I mean...what I want is to just keep trying until it all just falls into place? But that's really not fair, I guess."
"No," she agreed softly, then took a deep breath. It wasn't fair. To either of them. But she hadn't expected Bobby to be so mature about the whole thing. 'Mature' wasn't really a descriptor that came to mind when one thought about Bobby Drake.
"No," he echoed. "So, what did you want?"
"Well it's not like I've been thinking, 'hey, Bobby and I should break up'," Kitty huffed softly. "But yeah, I've felt the whole...trying and trying thing."
"No - I mean, I meant moving...forward, I guess. Or on. Or sideways, in intermittent bursts. Or.." Bobby shook his head. Yeah. Rambling now, moving on. "You want to break up, I get that much. What do we do after that? I mean, the traditional thing is to chance Facebook status and go badmouth each other to our friends, but I'm not sure that goes with the whole let's be friends thing. If that's even what you want."
"Oh my gosh, it is, and don't you dare go badmouthing me to Kurt and Tommy! They're my friends too!" Kitty told him, leaning over to slap him on the arm.
"Hey! No hitting the almost-ex-boyfriend!" Bobby protested. "Besides, if I badmouthed you to Kurt and Tommy, I'd have them hitting me. And Scott would make snarky comments about how you'd obviously come to your senses."
"Well, you better tell him that this was all your idea, then, because Scott's a jerk sometimes, and you've been an amazing boyfriend," Kitty grumbled at him. She hated when people put Bobby down, even if she was sure Scott was just joking about that kind of thing.
"Really not my idea, though," he countered, grimacing a little. "And I apparently wasn't amazing enough." If he had been, this wouldn't be happening now.
There it was. Kitty bit down on that aching feeling of guilt that pummeled her gut. Yeah, they could say that this was all about being friends, but deep down, Bobby was going to hold it against her. Or against himself. She didn't know which. She looked away, angry and guilty and sad and part of her thinking, 'maybe we could make it work!' Then another part of her pointed out that they'd probably just keep on giving each other kisses and being cute and pretending it was all fine, but there'd never be anything more to it than that.
Bobby sighed as Kitty looked away, then shook his head and got to his feet. Yeah. That was great, wasn't it? Way to go, Drake, making her miserable. "Sorry. I just..." he shook his head and held out his arms. "Hug it out, and let me wish you a good trip?" he offered.
She looked up, frowning softly. Still, she pushed to her feet and took a step toward him. "I'm the one that should be sorry."
"How 'bout we just agree to split the sorry?" Bobby suggested. "I mean, I think there's probably enough to go around." He stepped in and tentatively wrapped his arms around her.
She wasn't going to cry. She wasn't. She melted into his embrace and wrapped her arms around him too and tried not to think about the fact that he was putting on a little bulk now that he was working with X-Force. Ugh, there was so much she loved about him, even if there wasn't a real spark. Did she really want to ruin it? But he'd admitted himself - it wasn't just her. "Yeah," she finally breathed, her voice a little strained, "I guess I wasn't an amazing girlfriend, either."
"Bullshit. You're always amazing," Bobby assured her. He pressed a kiss to the top of her head, pulled back a little and forced a smile. Because yeah, she was. Maybe sparks weren't all that important? He was never going to find anyone like her again, let alone anyone like her who'd actually date him. Except...she didn't want to, anymore.
She rolled her eyes at him, because maybe he wasn't remembering all the times she'd hidden away in her workshop and had ignored him. She'd put more energy into her work than she had their relationship. "Are we really doing this?"
Bobby shrugged at Kitty's eyeroll - hey, he'd thought so, especially since she pretty much always let him in her workshop when she was down there brooding, provided he brought ice cream. And then took a deep breath and exhaled it. "Yeah," he confirmed, despite the way his stomach felt as if it were plummetting at the thought. "You deserve to find someone you're actually in love with." He forced a trace of a grin, unconvincingly. "Just please let it not be Nolan? Because you guys will dig into that lab and we'll never see you again."
"Ugh!" Kitty threw her hands up in the air. "I'm not in love with Nolan, Bobby!"
"I know that, Kitty!" he replied, throwing his hands in the hair in direct imitation. "I pretty much said that! It was just a really bad joke." He dropped his arms and shrugged. "I'm not sure what else to do at this point."
"Neither am I," she sighed. "I...I don't know how this works."
"Me either." Bobby was quiet for a while, trying to think of something to say when really, there wasn't anything to say. This was it. "I'm...sorry it didn't work out," he said feebly.
"Me too," she told him, then huffed softly, "and I'm not just saying that - I really mean it. I...I wanted it to."
"I know." Bobby forced a smile, and shrugged. "And...on that cheerful note? I'm gonna let you get back to your packing. If you get bored lying around on the beach, send me a text, ok? I'll fill you in on all the oh so exciting things you're missing out on."
Her heart ached for a moment, but she gave a little nod, forcing herself not to tear up. "Right. I will, I promise. Texts and pics."
"Holding you to it." Right. Bigger grin, Bobby, because someone has to, right? And it had to be him, because if he didn't, he was going to break down and look like an idiot. "If you don't? I'll figure out how to freeze the water in the Hamptons."
Kitty narrowed a look at him. "Don't even think about it!"
"Too late, I'm already thinking. If I burn out braincells, it's entirely your fault," Bobby pointed out.
With a huff, she stuck her tongue out at him, then moved to close the door. "Okay, okay, get out before you make me late."
"Going." Bobby headed for the door, then stopped in the doorway and turned back towards her. No smiles now, no jokes - he couldn't think of any. "Take care, Kit," he said quietly before turning and heading out.
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Date: 2018-07-05 10:30 am (UTC)Nolan will very happily never know how heavily he featured in that conversation. Ignorance is bliss.
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Date: 2018-07-05 03:23 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-05 04:56 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-08 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-09 02:01 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-05 06:30 pm (UTC)Warren almost feels bad about all the jokes he made about Kitty being too smart for Bobby. Almost >.>
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Date: 2018-07-08 08:28 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-07-07 12:27 am (UTC)