Jean and Ororo | backdated 5/7
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ax_mainJean and 'Ro touch base after Jean's roadtrip with Scott.
Ororo was trying to study, but she had had trouble staying focused on anything for very long, since she had received Jean's text saying they were on their way back. Ororo had checked in regularly, of course, but hadn't asked more than to know whether they were doing all right. And mostly, Ororo had missed Jean. Scott too, of course, but she didn't share a room with him.
So there she was, letting her mind wander from her history notes to check the time on her phone, and whether Jean had sent another text, maybe? Who knew.
Ororo had never checked her phone as much as she had this past couple of hours.
There was a knock on the door, an announcement of intent rather than a request for permission, for Jean stepped through the door a second later. She had her backpack over one shoulder and looked tired as could be... but not unhappy.
"Hey, 'Ro."
Ororo had looked up hopefully at the knock, and broke into a grin at the sight of her friend. "Jean!" She stood from her bed and walked over to her friend, to give her a heartfelt hug.
Jean hugged her back tightly. "Sorry for taking off on such short notice! But... yeah, 100% necessary. Not even kidding."
"Don't worry about it," Ororo told her genuinely, hugging back tightly, then pulling back a little. "How are you? Was it everything you needed?"
Jean settled on her bed and waved Ororo over. "Not everything, but... we both wound up in a better place at the end of it. I can't talk about all of it. Most of it. It's stuff Scott will have to choose to share."
"Of course," Ororo agreed without a second's hesitation, as she sat beside her friend. "I'm glad it has helped."
"I'm glad he let me go with him," Jean admitted. "He's so alone, 'Ro. Even when he's got friends all around him, there's part of him that's just waiting for us all to see he's a fraud and turn on him."
Ororo nodded along to the words, unsurprised but still saddened for this to be confirmed. "But we will keep being around him, and that voice will get quieter, as time goes by. We will prove it wrong."
The look Jean gave her was entirely gratitude. "Damn right," she said with a laugh that was more relief than joy. She was just... in such an odd place herself. "That self-doubt won't stand a chance. How were things here?"
"Quiet," Ororo replied, then amended, "As quiet as this school ever gets, anyway. I've been working with Billy in the Danger Room, in Scott's absence."
"I met him and Goodnight when they first got here," Jean said. "I don't know that much about them yet, except that Billy's set on joining X-Force. How did the DR sessions go?"
"He's making progress," Ororo answered, folding a leg up on the bed, fingers curling loosely over her calf. "I think that he was too busy wanting to prove that he was good enough to join that he forgot to take a breath, first. He feels... too used to doing, instead of being, if that makes sense."
Jean nodded slowly. "You mean, like just obeying orders?"
"That's part of it," Ororo agreed. "But also just... I don't know how to explain." She would have made a better job of it in Arabic. "It is dangerous, doing what we do, if you don't know how to be. Too easy to lose yourself in it."
Ooof. That echoed some of her concerns for Scott a little too closely. She wasn't sure she liked the comparison between her boyfriend and other-Billy, even if it hadn't been Ororo who'd made it. It wasn't fair, but there was something about that particular kid that left her unsettled. Maybe because he seemed to have so little awareness of his own damage. Or just didn't care.
It was different, though, she told herself. Scott was eyes-open about the burdens he placed on himself and had a firm sense of boundaries. And what Ororo was talking about sounded like just the opposite.
"So more like, to see himself as just X-Force? Or whatever it is he thinks X-Force does?"
Ororo shrugged. "I'm no psychologist. I don't know what any of them needs, after what they went through. It's just a feeling."
"Right, sorry." Jean offered 'Ro a sheepish grin along with the apology. "Thanks for stepping up while we were gone. I didn't mean to go all telepath-y on you."
Ororo shook her head with a small smile. "There is no reason to apologize. I wish I could give you more - help him more."
"I'm sure you're doing what you can. And, I mean, it's going well, right? So it has to be working for him."
"Time will tell," Ororo replied with a small smile. She reached out and squeezed her friend's hand. "But tell me about your time away. The parts that you can tell me about."
Jean considered, smiling a little. "Well. We spent a lot of time on Scott's bike. That was... it was nice. Just the two of us, talking in each other's minds while the world whipped by. Not even going any place in particular. Just moving."
While the world whipped by. It made Ororo think of flying, and she smiled. "That sounds liberating. And intimate."
"And a little scary," Jean admitted. "It was just us. No one else to approve or not or keep us from doing whatever we wanted. I guess it's a lot harder to be the good, responsible kids when there's no one standing over you, reminding you of the consequences."
Ororo's smile took on a tinge of amused curiosity. "What did you do that was so irresponsible, while no one was looking?" She did not expect it to be much, but she was willing to be surprised.
Jean colored up slightly. "Well. Name the first three things that come to mind."
Ororo chuckled at Jean's blush. "That's not irresponsible. Not unless you weren't safe about it."
"I don't know what it was," Jean admitted. "Besides wonderful, I mean. And I'm not sure what we do about it now, if anything." Aside from "do it again" and oh god, no she was not saying that out loud.
Ororo, of course, had no such compunction, not since Jean had called it wonderful. She was grinning as she asked, "You mean, besides doing it again?"
"'RO!" Jean hid her face behind her hands. It in no way hid the fact that her ears had gone from deep into 'pink' territory and were inching toward 'magenta'. But, after a few moments, "Yes. Absolutely yes."
Ororo laughed happily. "Good. You can find yourself, in moments like those, as much as you can find the other person." And, honestly? They could both use it.
"God." Jean giggled, happily, helplessly. Because, yes. Even moreso when one of "you" was a telepath. "Sorry. Sorry, let me just... get myself under control. "
"If you insist," Ororo stated brightly, and laid sideways on the bed, propping her head up on her hand. It was good, seeing Jean like this.
Jean took a few deep breaths, then finally emerged from behind her hands. She was still pink, but smiling. "OK. I think we're good. Just... yeah. A lot went on. Aside from that, I mean."
Ororo stopped brushing her thumb against her shaved scalp, and raised her eyebrows. "Complicated things, I'm assuming." No one took off like that over something simple.
"Yeah," Jean said. "I mean, it was good, in a way. Scott and I are even closer than before." She said that without blushing again; good first step. "It's just that this will take time. Sorry. I really wish I could be less vague, but I think this is something he's going to have to decide to open up about in his own time." If ever.
"Are you going to stop apologizing about that?" Ororo teased her gently, warmly. It was nothing to apologize for. She reached out to rest her hand on Jean's knee. "I'm here for you, no matter how little you can explain."
Jean made a little huff of frustration. "Oh, I know. I'm just worried about him, and I want to talk about what's going on. And I keep running up against the fact that I can't. Just... keep an eye and an ear open?"
"Of course," Ororo agreed, pulling her hand back. "And my arms ready, in case he needs someone to catch him." Metaphorically speaking, of course.
Ororo was trying to study, but she had had trouble staying focused on anything for very long, since she had received Jean's text saying they were on their way back. Ororo had checked in regularly, of course, but hadn't asked more than to know whether they were doing all right. And mostly, Ororo had missed Jean. Scott too, of course, but she didn't share a room with him.
So there she was, letting her mind wander from her history notes to check the time on her phone, and whether Jean had sent another text, maybe? Who knew.
Ororo had never checked her phone as much as she had this past couple of hours.
There was a knock on the door, an announcement of intent rather than a request for permission, for Jean stepped through the door a second later. She had her backpack over one shoulder and looked tired as could be... but not unhappy.
"Hey, 'Ro."
Ororo had looked up hopefully at the knock, and broke into a grin at the sight of her friend. "Jean!" She stood from her bed and walked over to her friend, to give her a heartfelt hug.
Jean hugged her back tightly. "Sorry for taking off on such short notice! But... yeah, 100% necessary. Not even kidding."
"Don't worry about it," Ororo told her genuinely, hugging back tightly, then pulling back a little. "How are you? Was it everything you needed?"
Jean settled on her bed and waved Ororo over. "Not everything, but... we both wound up in a better place at the end of it. I can't talk about all of it. Most of it. It's stuff Scott will have to choose to share."
"Of course," Ororo agreed without a second's hesitation, as she sat beside her friend. "I'm glad it has helped."
"I'm glad he let me go with him," Jean admitted. "He's so alone, 'Ro. Even when he's got friends all around him, there's part of him that's just waiting for us all to see he's a fraud and turn on him."
Ororo nodded along to the words, unsurprised but still saddened for this to be confirmed. "But we will keep being around him, and that voice will get quieter, as time goes by. We will prove it wrong."
The look Jean gave her was entirely gratitude. "Damn right," she said with a laugh that was more relief than joy. She was just... in such an odd place herself. "That self-doubt won't stand a chance. How were things here?"
"Quiet," Ororo replied, then amended, "As quiet as this school ever gets, anyway. I've been working with Billy in the Danger Room, in Scott's absence."
"I met him and Goodnight when they first got here," Jean said. "I don't know that much about them yet, except that Billy's set on joining X-Force. How did the DR sessions go?"
"He's making progress," Ororo answered, folding a leg up on the bed, fingers curling loosely over her calf. "I think that he was too busy wanting to prove that he was good enough to join that he forgot to take a breath, first. He feels... too used to doing, instead of being, if that makes sense."
Jean nodded slowly. "You mean, like just obeying orders?"
"That's part of it," Ororo agreed. "But also just... I don't know how to explain." She would have made a better job of it in Arabic. "It is dangerous, doing what we do, if you don't know how to be. Too easy to lose yourself in it."
Ooof. That echoed some of her concerns for Scott a little too closely. She wasn't sure she liked the comparison between her boyfriend and other-Billy, even if it hadn't been Ororo who'd made it. It wasn't fair, but there was something about that particular kid that left her unsettled. Maybe because he seemed to have so little awareness of his own damage. Or just didn't care.
It was different, though, she told herself. Scott was eyes-open about the burdens he placed on himself and had a firm sense of boundaries. And what Ororo was talking about sounded like just the opposite.
"So more like, to see himself as just X-Force? Or whatever it is he thinks X-Force does?"
Ororo shrugged. "I'm no psychologist. I don't know what any of them needs, after what they went through. It's just a feeling."
"Right, sorry." Jean offered 'Ro a sheepish grin along with the apology. "Thanks for stepping up while we were gone. I didn't mean to go all telepath-y on you."
Ororo shook her head with a small smile. "There is no reason to apologize. I wish I could give you more - help him more."
"I'm sure you're doing what you can. And, I mean, it's going well, right? So it has to be working for him."
"Time will tell," Ororo replied with a small smile. She reached out and squeezed her friend's hand. "But tell me about your time away. The parts that you can tell me about."
Jean considered, smiling a little. "Well. We spent a lot of time on Scott's bike. That was... it was nice. Just the two of us, talking in each other's minds while the world whipped by. Not even going any place in particular. Just moving."
While the world whipped by. It made Ororo think of flying, and she smiled. "That sounds liberating. And intimate."
"And a little scary," Jean admitted. "It was just us. No one else to approve or not or keep us from doing whatever we wanted. I guess it's a lot harder to be the good, responsible kids when there's no one standing over you, reminding you of the consequences."
Ororo's smile took on a tinge of amused curiosity. "What did you do that was so irresponsible, while no one was looking?" She did not expect it to be much, but she was willing to be surprised.
Jean colored up slightly. "Well. Name the first three things that come to mind."
Ororo chuckled at Jean's blush. "That's not irresponsible. Not unless you weren't safe about it."
"I don't know what it was," Jean admitted. "Besides wonderful, I mean. And I'm not sure what we do about it now, if anything." Aside from "do it again" and oh god, no she was not saying that out loud.
Ororo, of course, had no such compunction, not since Jean had called it wonderful. She was grinning as she asked, "You mean, besides doing it again?"
"'RO!" Jean hid her face behind her hands. It in no way hid the fact that her ears had gone from deep into 'pink' territory and were inching toward 'magenta'. But, after a few moments, "Yes. Absolutely yes."
Ororo laughed happily. "Good. You can find yourself, in moments like those, as much as you can find the other person." And, honestly? They could both use it.
"God." Jean giggled, happily, helplessly. Because, yes. Even moreso when one of "you" was a telepath. "Sorry. Sorry, let me just... get myself under control. "
"If you insist," Ororo stated brightly, and laid sideways on the bed, propping her head up on her hand. It was good, seeing Jean like this.
Jean took a few deep breaths, then finally emerged from behind her hands. She was still pink, but smiling. "OK. I think we're good. Just... yeah. A lot went on. Aside from that, I mean."
Ororo stopped brushing her thumb against her shaved scalp, and raised her eyebrows. "Complicated things, I'm assuming." No one took off like that over something simple.
"Yeah," Jean said. "I mean, it was good, in a way. Scott and I are even closer than before." She said that without blushing again; good first step. "It's just that this will take time. Sorry. I really wish I could be less vague, but I think this is something he's going to have to decide to open up about in his own time." If ever.
"Are you going to stop apologizing about that?" Ororo teased her gently, warmly. It was nothing to apologize for. She reached out to rest her hand on Jean's knee. "I'm here for you, no matter how little you can explain."
Jean made a little huff of frustration. "Oh, I know. I'm just worried about him, and I want to talk about what's going on. And I keep running up against the fact that I can't. Just... keep an eye and an ear open?"
"Of course," Ororo agreed, pulling her hand back. "And my arms ready, in case he needs someone to catch him." Metaphorically speaking, of course.
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Date: 2018-06-29 04:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-06-29 04:40 pm (UTC)