ax_main | Nick and Shen, Backdated to 2/3/18

Shen checks in on Nick again, and Nick asks Shen for some advice.

Being in his room alone was becoming less and less oppressive. When it was finally time for Lil to actually move back into her own room lest some people start to really ask serious questions, Nick was feeling comfortable in his room alone. For the most part.

Even though it had been only slightly longer than a month since the loss of his parents, Nick felt like it had been so much longer. The sadness and the nightmares had dragged the days on and on. Every minute felt like an hour had passed.

Things were more back to normal, now. It was the weekend, and he was doing his best to parse out some thoughts he was having. He was giving Lil some space, because, well, he had plans for Valentine's Day. He just hoped he was making the right choice. So instead of dwelling, he was watching Disney's Aladdin because, well, he was feeling like it. It made him laugh, and it only made him cry sometimes at parts.

Shen tried to come by regularly enough, but it had been a few days since her last visit. She'd gotten carried away by training and plans for their protest at the end of March. It seemed both in so long and just around the corner, and she spent more time in Salem Center or on the phone with her uncle than she usually did, these days, just to try to stick to the right path.

When she realized it had been a few days, she of course felt terrible, and baked some vegan chocolate chip cookies before heading over with a plate of them, still warm from the oven. She knocked on Nick's door. "Hey, it's Shen!"

"Oh! It's open!" Nick called, perking up a bit at the company. He could also smell... cookies? Maybe she'd been baking. She and Teddy seemed to have that in common. "C'mon in!" he invited. For right now, he was cozy enough to relax on the bed and watch Aladdin, though he hit pause so he could pay attention to Shen.

Shen opened the door and took a couple of steps inside, smiling over at Nick. "Hey! Am I interrupting anything?"

He managed to smile back. "No, I'm just bored. Giving... giving Lil some space. I feel like I owe her that much, if not, y'know the entire freaking world," Nick said, sitting up more on his bed. Huh, now that he thought about it... Maybe he'd talk to Shen about what he was thinking.

Shen looked at the TV screen and grinned. "Bored enough to resort to Disney?" It was teasing more than anything else; despite its many problematic aspects, Aladdin was a pretty cool movie. "So I'm not as good a baker as Teddy, but I'm trying to get better," she added, coming over to join him on his bed and setting the plate of cookies between them. "Tell me what you think! They're vegan, obviously."

"They say practice makes perfect," Nick said, taking a cookie and looking at it for only a half second before biting into it. "Huh. That is good," Nick said, nodding with approval. "What makes 'em vegan? No... uh... eggs, I guess?" he asked. He was just testing the waters in terms of cooking, and he wasn't getting close to being willing to try baking.

"No nothing that comes from animals, including eggs," Shen confirmed with a nod. She bit into a cookie and grinned after swallowing. "Yeah, I did all right."

"Yeah," Nick agreed, though the agreement was pretty much pointless. "I, um. Don't know how long you planned on staying, but... I wanted to maybe ask your advice about something. If you've got a bit."

"Sure," Shen agreed with a nod, giving him her full attention. "What's up?"

"So, um..." He looked at the paused movie on his TV, and put his hands in his lap, fidgeting a bit. "I, um. So, y'know. Valentine's Day is coming up," he said. Figuring that should sink in. "And... there's... I ..." He sighed. "I ... thought of maybe... asking Lil if she wanted me to be her boyfriend," he said, finally getting it out. He was glad his fur kept his blush from showing.

"Oh!" Shen frowned a little. "I have - you know Lil and I aren't close, right? I have no idea how she'd feel about that. She seems to really care about you, obviously."

"I-I know," Nick said, frowning a little. "A-and, I mean, it's... it's a shame, 'cause... I just..." He sighed. "It's not really... I'm not asking because, uh, I'm..." He took a breath and composed himself.

"I just. Do you think... do you think me asking might... might hurt what she and I have between us right now?" he asked. "I care about her so, so much. She's... she's been there for me through all of this. We ... we promised, early on, to watch each other's backs. And... it ... she's gone far and above. And... and I'm also, like, worried that... that she'd... she might just say 'yes' because she doesn't want to hurt me..."

"I don't think you have to worry about that," Shen said when he got to that last bit. "I don't know her very well, but she's very, um, outspoken. And blunt. About things."

"I know," Nick said, lowering his gaze to his hands in his lap. "She ... I don't think she has a lot of experience with... y'know. Other kids," he said, twiddling his thumbs. "She's always done right by me, though. I just... I wish other people could see what I saw in her. They'd know she's good, then." Despite her flaws. Or maybe even because of them. Nick sighed. "I just don't want people to..." He raked his nails through his hair, nervously. "I don't want people to think she's weird because she's dating me," he said.

"I wasn't saying that to put her down," Shen assured him, after he was done defending her. After all, she'd been called outspoken and blunt more often than not, herself. "But anyone who'd think that about her aren't people worth knowing."

"I just," he sighed. "Before, y'know... before the... before my..." He tucked his knees up close to himself and rested his muzzle on them. He'd push past that part. "Dad told me that... I should ask her out," he murmured. "I-I don't wanna tell her that, not... not for a long time. That... it feels like a guilt trip. But... y'know, I have... I have wolf-face. Like, does nobody else think that's weird? To like, y'know. I-I don't even know if I can kiss properly, like this. Just..." He sighed. "I'm sorry. That's. Probably TMI or something."

"We're not even close to my TMI line," Shen assured him easily. "And maybe you can't kiss. There's lots of other ways to show affection, right?"

"Yeah, but..." He sighed. "I just... I want it to be perfect. Because... She deserves it, you know? Every-everyone does. And, y'know. I just... there was a time when I just, I knew, I knew that I'd never have a girlfriend. And--and I was okay with that. For the most part. I mean, it sucked. But... Lil's ... made me think that isn't true. Even if it wasn't her, I feel like my--my time with her, y'know, it's... given me confidence."

"And opened up new horizons for you," Shen stated with a genuinely happy smile. No matter what she thought of Lil, she was happy that she had given Nick that. "That's an amazing gift. But don't get too hung up on things being perfect - they never really are. You're right not to want to tell her what your dad said, but... yeah, you should take his advice."

"I-I was thinking of ordering flowers and chocolate covered strawberries," Nick said, bashfully. "I-I mean, I know it's stupid, and corny, and cheesy, but... th-that's what my dad suggested. 'Cause that's what he got my mom on their first Valentine's Day," he said, timidly. Jeez, was he hung up on this or what... But at least he could talk about them without starting to weep, though his eyes were feeling just a little wet.

Shen's wings shifted as she leaned over to squeeze his paw. "That's really sweet."

"Yeah," Nick agreed, nodding and wiping at his eyes with his free hand. "Makes it feel right, I guess," Nick said, as if to explain the motive. "I just. Y'know. The... my therapist says, y'know, I should... be looking for ways to move... move forward, at my own pace, with... things that make me happy. And it feels, you know, like... like the step to take."

"Have you thought about - what happens if she turns you down?" Shen asked, all quiet concern. "I mean, not in terms of your friendship, you seem tight enough that it should be fine, really. More in terms of - you." This was already a difficult moment for him. And this might make him incredible happy. But it might also... not, depending on Lil's answer.

"I mean," Nick said, thinking about it for a bit. "I think... I think I'd be okay. I mean, I'm just... I never thought I'd ever even feel like I should ask a girl out," he said, gesturing at his face for a moment. "On account of, you know. So even doing this... I'm so, so happy with what Lil and I have. And even if she didn't want to go any further, I mean, I think... I think I could be okay," he said.

Shen smiled, and pulled her hand back. "Sounds like you've thought it through. Go for it, man!"

He grinned at Shen's enthusiasm. "It makes me feel better that someone else, like, someone who isn't basically paid to support me, y'know, thinks I should," Nick said, sighing a little and finishing off his cookie. "I'm sorry you and Lil don't get along better," Nick added.

Shen shrugged. "Not everyone gets along. But she's been good to you, that's definitely winning her points in my book."

"I'm glad there's at least that," Nick said, happily. "So... did you wanna watch this with me?" he asked, gesturing at Aladdin paused on the TV. "Seems like cookies are a good movie snack."

"Sure!" Shen agreed with a smile. She'd even try to keep her irritation with the racism and sexism to a minimum, because Aladdin was fun. "Doesn't look like I've missed too much." She did stand up though, to grab his desk chair and straddle it, because there was no way she could comfortably be facing the screen from his bed. Not unless she lay on her stomach, and that felt a little presumptuous.

"Yeah, it'll be fun," Nick said. "I-I know it's kinda dated, but... Robin Williams as the genie just... makes me laugh a lot," Nick said. "And I've been... trying to surround myself with happy things as best I can."

"He's definitely funny," Shen agreed, rolling the desk chair over by his bed. "I also kind of adore Iago."

"Yeah, it's fun," Nick said, happily. "And I'm glad to have the company."

"You know, you can ask me over for movies whenever," Shen told him with a smile, settling down on the chair and reaching over for another cookie. She'd keep showing up if he didn't mind, but reaching out to people would probably be another good step for him to take, right? She was pretty busy, but she'd been finding the time to come over.

"Yeah, I just... I guess I've gotten used to being holed up. It's hard to reach out, once you've gotten like this. I'm sure you, you uh, might... might know something about that. I'm sure everyone, everyone has had... something kind of like this happen." That was what Nick supposed, at least.

Shen shrugged. "I was six when I lost my parents, and then we came here. Apparently I didn't speak to anybody for about a month after we came here." She didn't really remember it. It had all been a fog of grief and change.

"I'm sorry," he said, wishing he didn't know how it felt. But it did. "I... I wish you'd had your own Lil. She's been like... a... a rock. An anchor."

"I had my uncle," Shen answered. "I still have my uncle. He's been my anchor and my guide, all this time." Mixing metaphors, what? It was what it was, and Yang Tian was the best.

"I'm glad you had him," Nick said, smiling. He settled into his bed more, and helped himself to another cookie, and picked up the remote. "Did-did you want a drink?" he asked. He always had a small stock of sodas in his room, it seemed like. He figured he should offer to Shen, since she'd brought cookies.

"I'm all good, thanks," Shen assured him with a shake of her head.

"Just lemme know if you need anything," Nick offered, before hitting play on the movie.