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ax_mainAfter taking Simon on an unexpected trip, Illyana finds Inu-yasha to complain about the 'genius'. The conversation gets unexpectedly deep, given Inu-yasha's involvement.
Honestly, for a genius, Simon Tam was a total moron. Magic had been right there in front of him. A totally different dimension. Spells. And he'd talked to her as if he were humoring her.
Also, anyone who admired the decor of Belasco's throneroom was obviously an idiot.
"You are not going to believe this," she said without preamble.
Inu-yasha had just been heading for the cafeteria when Illyana caught up to him. He turned to say something rude - not to scare her off or anything, she was tougher than that - but he got sidetracked by the smells on her. Instead he just gave her a stupefied look, nose twitching just a bit as he sniffed more thoroughly.
Death. Complete and total death and rot, and a trace of fresh blood (hers, though he didn't smell any wounds), and that strange mix of smells he now just called magic.
She'd been in Limbo.
"Oh, stop sniffing at me - you know what you're smelling." Illyana took a deep breath, then exhaled. "We're superstitious, ignorant people. Did you know that?"
"The hell does that mean?" he asked, scowling at her. Obviously nothing too terrible had happened while she was there, or this would be a very different conversation. ...though it might be one he'd actually understand.
"It means I met Ms. Friedlander's new lab assistant. Or Dr. McTaggart's new intern, or...well, whatever he is." Illyana rolled her eyes. "Apparently, you're not a demon, and there's no such thing as magic, and we've obviously been brainwashed."
Inu-yasha gave her a skeptical look, but made room for her to join him as he turned back toward food. "So there's another idiot living here. And?"
"And I took this one...on a trip," Illyana said, glancing around to make sure no one was in earshot as she fell into step with him. "He accused me of using some kind of telepathy or illusion-casting ability to make him think he was there."
Inu-yasha snorted. "Moron..." He was probably one of the rich kids, too - a lot of idiots there from what he could tell. Never had to use their brains their entire-- "Wait, why'd you even go there?”
"He pissed me off." Illyana shrugged. It was dumb, maybe, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time.
Inu-yasha shot her a disbelieving look. "The fuck?" Of all the stupid, bone-headed moves-- after all the time she'd spent telling him how dangerous it was, that there were people (or demons or whatever-the-fuck) there that wanted her dead?? "Were you trying to get him killed, or just yourself?"
"Oh please - this is from the guy who charged a N'Garai with nothing but his claws?" Illyana rolled her eyes, then shrugged. "Anyway, like I said, he pissed me off. I wasn't thinking of much beyond showing him exactly what he was convinced didn't exist."
"The hell else was I supposed to do, let it eat you?" Inu-yasha huffed, not expecting an answer to that. "Maybe I shoulda, since you've got some kinda death wish... Could the moron fight at least?"
Illyana snorted. "Him? Not likely. I can, though." She fixed Inu-Yasha with a look. "I spent the last three years there. I'm not about to fall over and die."
"Keh. If you're not too busy casting spells on computers, maybe." As far as Inu-yasha could tell, she woulda been screwed if he hadn't been there too last time. He raised an eyebrow at her. "You lookin' to go back there or something?"
"What?" Illyana stared at him, incredulous. "Why would I want to do that?" Or...would she? If she thought Belasco would forgive her, take her back as his apprentice...
No. Not after what had happened to Cat, to Ashake. She wasn't going back to Limbo, not to stay. Not for anything.
Inu-yasha paused in the doorway to the kitchen (he'd opted for some kind of snack and fewer people than the cafeteria) and looked at her like she was and idiot. "Why else would you keep going back to a place like that?"
"It's the only way I can teleport?" she pointed out. Honestly, she thought that was obvious.
"Teleporting's one thing, witch," Inu-yasha drawled, briefly marveling at the lunacy of that sentence. "Visiting hell for stupid shit like computers and morons is just asking to get killed." Sure, Inu-yasha was a fighter who'd take a fist fight over an argument any day, but he was who he was to survive - he didn't go looking for trouble, it just found him, and then he beat the shit out of it. Story of his life.
This witch, on the other hand, seemed determined to put herself in danger.
"Hey, I'm still alive, aren't I?" Illyana shrugged and plopped down in a chair, ignoring the comment about the computer. Which, admittedly, hadn't been working quite right since she'd fixed it, but there wasn't any way to link that to them, so whatever. "Also? My name's Illyana. Ill-eee-aa-na. Unless you want me calling you Dog-Boy?"
Inu-yasha was opening a cabinet, but he turned to glare at her with a huff, not noticing the faint growl in his throat.
"Yeah, exactly." Yana leaned forward in her chair and rested her elbows on the table, cradling her chin in her hands. "Anyway, no, I'm not suicidal. I just...nevermind. You wouldn't get it."
Inu-yasha grabbed a bag of chips and, against his better judgment, went and sat down at the table too, snorting at her. "Just what?"
Illyana shook her head and pushed one hand back through her hair. "It's not important. I just...I spent a lot of time there, the last few years. It's hard to remember that if I get caught there..." She made a face. "Well, it wouldn't be good."
"Some kinda magic shit?" Inu-yasha asked, studying her face with a scowl. He had a feeling it wasn't just random demons that wanted her dead. He didn't ask why she'd spent time there, though - it just was. It'd be like if someone asked him why he'd lived on the streets of Tokyo. It just was.
"Mmmm. Not exactly, no." She sighed and dropped one hand into her lap, leaning her forehead against the other. "I was...an apprentice, there. I didn't exactly leave on good terms."
Inu-yasha was tearing open the bag of chips, and grabbed a handful as soon as he succeeded. "Apprentice? What's that, some kinda job?"
"Kinda. Sort of a student assistant." She shrugged and looked awkward. "I learned magic from him, and he bossed me around."
Inu-yasha slouched back in his chair, raising an eyebrow at her. Suddenly things were a lot clearer. Magic and shit may be beyond him, but some things, it seemed, were universal. "Lemme guess - he roughed you up, threatened to kill you to keep you in line, and you had nowhere else to go anyway." He threw a few chips in his mouth. "Sound about right?"
Illyana rolled her eyes and reached over to snitch a few chips from his bag. "No. Or, well, not always," she admitted. She smiled, just a little. "Sometimes he told me I was a wonderful apprentice, and that I had a great future ahead of me. The rest only happened when I didn't do something right, or broke something, or argued with him." Which didn't make it okay, she reminded herself. But mostly, at the time, it had felt like it did.
Oh, right, they were always nicer to the girls. Inu-yasha had seen that before too. "So he wanted to sleep with you?” he guessed flippantly, though he pointedly didn't make eye contact.
"What? No!" Illyana glared at Inu-Yasha as she got to her feet. "It wasn't like that. I told you, I was his apprentice."
Inu-yasha scowled up at her. It wasn't like that? Okay, he'd believe that - but there was something she wasn't saying, something that didn't add up. After another moment he huffed, going back to the chips with an aloof, disinterested expression. "Fine, guess you were lucky."
"Guess so." Except there were worse things you could lose than your virginity, weren't there? Illyana sat back down and popped one of the chips into her mouth. "Anyway, I chose it, I guess." Part of her had wanted the training, at any cost. The cost just ended up being one she didn't want to keep paying.
"The thing is," Inu-yasha drawled at her, unimpressed, "nothing's free. Guys like that, they're always gettin' something." That was just how the world worked. "Doubt it's any different in hell."
"And what makes you such an expert?" Illyana retorted, her eyebrows raising. Granted, he wasn't wrong, but she wasn't quite ready to confirm that.
"That's how it works," Inu-yasha replied, rolling his eyes as he stated the absolutely obvious. "Strong people use weaker people to get what they want."
"Well, yeah," Illyana acknowledged, waving that aside. That went without saying. "Not what I asked, though. I asked what made you an expert." She smirked and reached over to help herself to more chips. "Spill."
Inu-yasha glared at her. "What do you want to hear, that I was a weak little kid once? Of course I was."
"And you grew up to be a big, bad kid. I get that part." Illyana shrugged. "I was wondering about the middle."
"Middle of what?" Inu-yasha asked gruffly. The hell was she on about?
Illyana rolled her eyes. "What happened between when you were a weak little kid and now? Honestly, do I have to spell everything out?"
"I got strong, that's what. Didn't need anyone else. Myoga-jiji found me in Tokyo," he said, Japanese accent coming out on those words. "He brought me to LA, I dunno, a few years ago?" He scratched his head, scratching at an ear under his hood. "Now I'm here."
"Sounds like you needed...whatever his name was." Illyana wrinkled her nose. "What'd you do in Tokyo?"
"Ran with some kids when I was little." He closed his eyes lazily, disinterested. "Learned to fight, steal. Never fit in though - I was different." He opened his eyes to glare at her again. "And who said I needed the old man? I was fine on my own!"
"Well, you needed him to get to the US," Illyana pointed out, unfazed by his glare. "But other than that, I can buy it. Did you always look like you do now, or did it just kinda pop up one day?"
Inu-yasha snorted dismissively. Myoga had been convinced that Sessho-maru wanted him dead, but Inu-yasha hadn't really bought it. What did his rich sack-of-shit half brother care about some streetrat kid?
"Little by little. But I was always stronger, faster. People hated me for it." He raised an eyebrow, thinking back. "Even when I was little. Hell, they hated me before I was even born."
"That's an accomplishment." Illyana smirked. "I think it takes most people until you open your mouth, at least." Except strangely, she didn't really dislike Inu-Yasha. Yeah, he was kind of an ass, but - well, he made sense, mostly. So long as he stopped calling her Witch where other people could hear.
"Yeah well. Long story that doesn't matter." He grabbed another handful of chips. "None of it matters now. I'm strong enough to take care of myself, don't need anyone else. I only came here because he said I could get stronger."
"And the free food." Illyana snitched another chip. "The free food doesn't suck." She wasn't about to argue the rest, though it seemed to her Inu-Yasha was plenty strong enough. Whatever reasons he had were his.
The free food, the safe bed, the fact that he didn't need to dodge cops... Sure, the place had a lot of perks, but they weren't the reason he was here. He raised an eyebrow at her, curious now. "What were you doing in hell anyway? You smell human enough."
Illyana let out a snort. Human enough. That said it all, didn't it? "Not as much as you'd think, maybe."
"You're not from there. Everything there smells like death."
"That was because Ashake's garden was dying," Illyana reasoned, while wondering whether or not it was true of the rest of Limbo. She wouldn't be surprised. "But no, I'm originally from Russia. I didn't go to Limbo until I was six."
"Six? How'd that happen?" Inu-yasha didn't think she'd just wandered in on her own.
"I fell down a rabbit hole, but Wonderland got remodeled when no one was looking." Illyana rolled her eyes. "How do you think I got there?"
Inu-yasha's eyes narrowed, not understanding the reference. "How the fuck should I know?" Maybe her family had something to do with it, or maybe she'd been kidnapped. Maybe she'd just teleported herself there.
Illyana stared at him for a moment, then sighed. "Alice in Wonderland. It's a kids' story? Also a half decent cartoon, with a Queen who yells 'Off with her head!' a lot. In other words, I fell through a stepping disk and ended up there. Belasco was waiting."
"Belasco? Is that a person or a demon?" Inu-yasha threw more chips in his mouth.
"Yes," Illyana replied. She got up and headed for the refrigerator. "Want a soda?"
Inu-yasha made an affirmative sound. "He was waiting for some random kid?"
"No. He was waiting for me." Illyana got two Cokes from the fridge and carried them over, plopping one down in front of Inu-yasha before heading around the table. "Anyway, what do you care?"
"Keh. Who says I care?" Inu-yasha shot back at her gruffly, and just a little too quickly. "Just trying to figure out why you don't make any sense. All this hell and magic and shit."
"Hey, I make total sense!" Illyana protested. She threw her arms wide, ignoring the soda still in her hand, which was fortunately still closed. "Magic makes sense - if you have the power to do what you want, you can do it." Granted, that wasn't what Ashake had tried to teach her, but that didn't make it any less true. "It's everything else that makes no sense. I'm watching TV practically non-stop, and I still can't figure it all out."
"Oy, all I meant is no one else went to actual hell as a kid! That's not normal!” Inu-yasha huffed. Dammit, he hadn't even been trying to piss her off that time!
"So, I'm not normal. Do you think I don't know that?" Illyana plopped down into a chair sulkily. "I wonder if anyone else would like to point that out today. Maybe I should do a survey on the forum. I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out."
Crap, was this some kind of girl thing?! Inu-yasha had no idea what was going on. Flustered, he all but yelled, "The whole school's full of freaks with weird stories, idiot! What're you getting all dramatic for?"
"Because I'm frustrated, asshole!" Illyana snapped back. "Because I don't want to talk about it, and you keep asking more questions!"
The hell?? "You asked me shit and I answered!" He put his Coke down so hard it splashed out of the can. "And it's not like there's anyone else to ask about it! You don't want questions, don't take people to hell, witch!"
"Stop calling me witch!" Illyana slammed her hand down on the table, causing his Coke to splash again. "I'm not a witch!"
"Whatever!!" Inu-yasha shouted back at her, claws actually pricking through the can as it dented. He growled at himself, shaking soda off his hand.
"Whatever!" Illyana countered, but her lips twitched upward at the sight of him shaking soda from his claws while spurts of soda jetted out from the can. "Okay, that was awesome."
"It's not awesome, it's friggin' annoying," Inu-yasha grouched back at her, standing and tossing the whole soda in the sink before grabbing a roll of paper towels. "Why's everything so damn fragile?!"
"Probably because it's not designed for people with claws in mind? Why don't you file them or something?" Illyana asked.
Inu-yasha snorted. "These can cut through steel - you think a file would work? And why would I want to file my best weapons anyway? You remember what happened to that demon."
"Well, yeah, but unless you want me to bring demons here for you to fight, I don't think you're going to have to do it all the time." Illyana shrugged. "Plus, if you filed them, you wouldn't poke holes in your soda."
"What, are you nuts?" Inu-yasha scowled at her. A few problems with soda were nothing compared to being defenseless.
"Not when last I checked," Illyana snapped back. "But whatever, poke holes in things rather than shorten a couple of claws. Not my problem."
And here he'd thought she was smarter than that, a survivor. That was a lesson he'd learned early in life: never give up an advantage. "You don't make a knife dull because it might cut you, you keep the weapon."
Illyana considered that, grimaced, and nodded. "Fair." She got to her feet and went over to the refrigerator to pull out another can.
“I-- huh?" Inu-yasha hadn't expected her to actually agree with him, and he blinked at her, a little stupefied. But okay, whatever. He let it go, plopping back down in his seat and yanking off a paper towel to dab at the soda on the table.
"I said that's fair." Illyana shrugged as she brought him a replacement soda.
Inu-yasha was even more confused as she handed him the soda. At a complete loss, he actually muttered "thanks" before he'd realized what had happened.
Illyana shrugged. "No prob." She paused for a moment, then asked, "Want to take the chips and go watch some TV?"
"...yeah, sure." Inu-yasha rarely watched TV, partly because he'd never really had one, and partly because he didn't know how to work the remotes and shit and didn't feel like letting on. Watching with someone else could solve that problem. "Why not."
Honestly, for a genius, Simon Tam was a total moron. Magic had been right there in front of him. A totally different dimension. Spells. And he'd talked to her as if he were humoring her.
Also, anyone who admired the decor of Belasco's throneroom was obviously an idiot.
"You are not going to believe this," she said without preamble.
Inu-yasha had just been heading for the cafeteria when Illyana caught up to him. He turned to say something rude - not to scare her off or anything, she was tougher than that - but he got sidetracked by the smells on her. Instead he just gave her a stupefied look, nose twitching just a bit as he sniffed more thoroughly.
Death. Complete and total death and rot, and a trace of fresh blood (hers, though he didn't smell any wounds), and that strange mix of smells he now just called magic.
She'd been in Limbo.
"Oh, stop sniffing at me - you know what you're smelling." Illyana took a deep breath, then exhaled. "We're superstitious, ignorant people. Did you know that?"
"The hell does that mean?" he asked, scowling at her. Obviously nothing too terrible had happened while she was there, or this would be a very different conversation. ...though it might be one he'd actually understand.
"It means I met Ms. Friedlander's new lab assistant. Or Dr. McTaggart's new intern, or...well, whatever he is." Illyana rolled her eyes. "Apparently, you're not a demon, and there's no such thing as magic, and we've obviously been brainwashed."
Inu-yasha gave her a skeptical look, but made room for her to join him as he turned back toward food. "So there's another idiot living here. And?"
"And I took this one...on a trip," Illyana said, glancing around to make sure no one was in earshot as she fell into step with him. "He accused me of using some kind of telepathy or illusion-casting ability to make him think he was there."
Inu-yasha snorted. "Moron..." He was probably one of the rich kids, too - a lot of idiots there from what he could tell. Never had to use their brains their entire-- "Wait, why'd you even go there?”
"He pissed me off." Illyana shrugged. It was dumb, maybe, but it had seemed like a good idea at the time.
Inu-yasha shot her a disbelieving look. "The fuck?" Of all the stupid, bone-headed moves-- after all the time she'd spent telling him how dangerous it was, that there were people (or demons or whatever-the-fuck) there that wanted her dead?? "Were you trying to get him killed, or just yourself?"
"Oh please - this is from the guy who charged a N'Garai with nothing but his claws?" Illyana rolled her eyes, then shrugged. "Anyway, like I said, he pissed me off. I wasn't thinking of much beyond showing him exactly what he was convinced didn't exist."
"The hell else was I supposed to do, let it eat you?" Inu-yasha huffed, not expecting an answer to that. "Maybe I shoulda, since you've got some kinda death wish... Could the moron fight at least?"
Illyana snorted. "Him? Not likely. I can, though." She fixed Inu-Yasha with a look. "I spent the last three years there. I'm not about to fall over and die."
"Keh. If you're not too busy casting spells on computers, maybe." As far as Inu-yasha could tell, she woulda been screwed if he hadn't been there too last time. He raised an eyebrow at her. "You lookin' to go back there or something?"
"What?" Illyana stared at him, incredulous. "Why would I want to do that?" Or...would she? If she thought Belasco would forgive her, take her back as his apprentice...
No. Not after what had happened to Cat, to Ashake. She wasn't going back to Limbo, not to stay. Not for anything.
Inu-yasha paused in the doorway to the kitchen (he'd opted for some kind of snack and fewer people than the cafeteria) and looked at her like she was and idiot. "Why else would you keep going back to a place like that?"
"It's the only way I can teleport?" she pointed out. Honestly, she thought that was obvious.
"Teleporting's one thing, witch," Inu-yasha drawled, briefly marveling at the lunacy of that sentence. "Visiting hell for stupid shit like computers and morons is just asking to get killed." Sure, Inu-yasha was a fighter who'd take a fist fight over an argument any day, but he was who he was to survive - he didn't go looking for trouble, it just found him, and then he beat the shit out of it. Story of his life.
This witch, on the other hand, seemed determined to put herself in danger.
"Hey, I'm still alive, aren't I?" Illyana shrugged and plopped down in a chair, ignoring the comment about the computer. Which, admittedly, hadn't been working quite right since she'd fixed it, but there wasn't any way to link that to them, so whatever. "Also? My name's Illyana. Ill-eee-aa-na. Unless you want me calling you Dog-Boy?"
Inu-yasha was opening a cabinet, but he turned to glare at her with a huff, not noticing the faint growl in his throat.
"Yeah, exactly." Yana leaned forward in her chair and rested her elbows on the table, cradling her chin in her hands. "Anyway, no, I'm not suicidal. I just...nevermind. You wouldn't get it."
Inu-yasha grabbed a bag of chips and, against his better judgment, went and sat down at the table too, snorting at her. "Just what?"
Illyana shook her head and pushed one hand back through her hair. "It's not important. I just...I spent a lot of time there, the last few years. It's hard to remember that if I get caught there..." She made a face. "Well, it wouldn't be good."
"Some kinda magic shit?" Inu-yasha asked, studying her face with a scowl. He had a feeling it wasn't just random demons that wanted her dead. He didn't ask why she'd spent time there, though - it just was. It'd be like if someone asked him why he'd lived on the streets of Tokyo. It just was.
"Mmmm. Not exactly, no." She sighed and dropped one hand into her lap, leaning her forehead against the other. "I was...an apprentice, there. I didn't exactly leave on good terms."
Inu-yasha was tearing open the bag of chips, and grabbed a handful as soon as he succeeded. "Apprentice? What's that, some kinda job?"
"Kinda. Sort of a student assistant." She shrugged and looked awkward. "I learned magic from him, and he bossed me around."
Inu-yasha slouched back in his chair, raising an eyebrow at her. Suddenly things were a lot clearer. Magic and shit may be beyond him, but some things, it seemed, were universal. "Lemme guess - he roughed you up, threatened to kill you to keep you in line, and you had nowhere else to go anyway." He threw a few chips in his mouth. "Sound about right?"
Illyana rolled her eyes and reached over to snitch a few chips from his bag. "No. Or, well, not always," she admitted. She smiled, just a little. "Sometimes he told me I was a wonderful apprentice, and that I had a great future ahead of me. The rest only happened when I didn't do something right, or broke something, or argued with him." Which didn't make it okay, she reminded herself. But mostly, at the time, it had felt like it did.
Oh, right, they were always nicer to the girls. Inu-yasha had seen that before too. "So he wanted to sleep with you?” he guessed flippantly, though he pointedly didn't make eye contact.
"What? No!" Illyana glared at Inu-Yasha as she got to her feet. "It wasn't like that. I told you, I was his apprentice."
Inu-yasha scowled up at her. It wasn't like that? Okay, he'd believe that - but there was something she wasn't saying, something that didn't add up. After another moment he huffed, going back to the chips with an aloof, disinterested expression. "Fine, guess you were lucky."
"Guess so." Except there were worse things you could lose than your virginity, weren't there? Illyana sat back down and popped one of the chips into her mouth. "Anyway, I chose it, I guess." Part of her had wanted the training, at any cost. The cost just ended up being one she didn't want to keep paying.
"The thing is," Inu-yasha drawled at her, unimpressed, "nothing's free. Guys like that, they're always gettin' something." That was just how the world worked. "Doubt it's any different in hell."
"And what makes you such an expert?" Illyana retorted, her eyebrows raising. Granted, he wasn't wrong, but she wasn't quite ready to confirm that.
"That's how it works," Inu-yasha replied, rolling his eyes as he stated the absolutely obvious. "Strong people use weaker people to get what they want."
"Well, yeah," Illyana acknowledged, waving that aside. That went without saying. "Not what I asked, though. I asked what made you an expert." She smirked and reached over to help herself to more chips. "Spill."
Inu-yasha glared at her. "What do you want to hear, that I was a weak little kid once? Of course I was."
"And you grew up to be a big, bad kid. I get that part." Illyana shrugged. "I was wondering about the middle."
"Middle of what?" Inu-yasha asked gruffly. The hell was she on about?
Illyana rolled her eyes. "What happened between when you were a weak little kid and now? Honestly, do I have to spell everything out?"
"I got strong, that's what. Didn't need anyone else. Myoga-jiji found me in Tokyo," he said, Japanese accent coming out on those words. "He brought me to LA, I dunno, a few years ago?" He scratched his head, scratching at an ear under his hood. "Now I'm here."
"Sounds like you needed...whatever his name was." Illyana wrinkled her nose. "What'd you do in Tokyo?"
"Ran with some kids when I was little." He closed his eyes lazily, disinterested. "Learned to fight, steal. Never fit in though - I was different." He opened his eyes to glare at her again. "And who said I needed the old man? I was fine on my own!"
"Well, you needed him to get to the US," Illyana pointed out, unfazed by his glare. "But other than that, I can buy it. Did you always look like you do now, or did it just kinda pop up one day?"
Inu-yasha snorted dismissively. Myoga had been convinced that Sessho-maru wanted him dead, but Inu-yasha hadn't really bought it. What did his rich sack-of-shit half brother care about some streetrat kid?
"Little by little. But I was always stronger, faster. People hated me for it." He raised an eyebrow, thinking back. "Even when I was little. Hell, they hated me before I was even born."
"That's an accomplishment." Illyana smirked. "I think it takes most people until you open your mouth, at least." Except strangely, she didn't really dislike Inu-Yasha. Yeah, he was kind of an ass, but - well, he made sense, mostly. So long as he stopped calling her Witch where other people could hear.
"Yeah well. Long story that doesn't matter." He grabbed another handful of chips. "None of it matters now. I'm strong enough to take care of myself, don't need anyone else. I only came here because he said I could get stronger."
"And the free food." Illyana snitched another chip. "The free food doesn't suck." She wasn't about to argue the rest, though it seemed to her Inu-Yasha was plenty strong enough. Whatever reasons he had were his.
The free food, the safe bed, the fact that he didn't need to dodge cops... Sure, the place had a lot of perks, but they weren't the reason he was here. He raised an eyebrow at her, curious now. "What were you doing in hell anyway? You smell human enough."
Illyana let out a snort. Human enough. That said it all, didn't it? "Not as much as you'd think, maybe."
"You're not from there. Everything there smells like death."
"That was because Ashake's garden was dying," Illyana reasoned, while wondering whether or not it was true of the rest of Limbo. She wouldn't be surprised. "But no, I'm originally from Russia. I didn't go to Limbo until I was six."
"Six? How'd that happen?" Inu-yasha didn't think she'd just wandered in on her own.
"I fell down a rabbit hole, but Wonderland got remodeled when no one was looking." Illyana rolled her eyes. "How do you think I got there?"
Inu-yasha's eyes narrowed, not understanding the reference. "How the fuck should I know?" Maybe her family had something to do with it, or maybe she'd been kidnapped. Maybe she'd just teleported herself there.
Illyana stared at him for a moment, then sighed. "Alice in Wonderland. It's a kids' story? Also a half decent cartoon, with a Queen who yells 'Off with her head!' a lot. In other words, I fell through a stepping disk and ended up there. Belasco was waiting."
"Belasco? Is that a person or a demon?" Inu-yasha threw more chips in his mouth.
"Yes," Illyana replied. She got up and headed for the refrigerator. "Want a soda?"
Inu-yasha made an affirmative sound. "He was waiting for some random kid?"
"No. He was waiting for me." Illyana got two Cokes from the fridge and carried them over, plopping one down in front of Inu-yasha before heading around the table. "Anyway, what do you care?"
"Keh. Who says I care?" Inu-yasha shot back at her gruffly, and just a little too quickly. "Just trying to figure out why you don't make any sense. All this hell and magic and shit."
"Hey, I make total sense!" Illyana protested. She threw her arms wide, ignoring the soda still in her hand, which was fortunately still closed. "Magic makes sense - if you have the power to do what you want, you can do it." Granted, that wasn't what Ashake had tried to teach her, but that didn't make it any less true. "It's everything else that makes no sense. I'm watching TV practically non-stop, and I still can't figure it all out."
"Oy, all I meant is no one else went to actual hell as a kid! That's not normal!” Inu-yasha huffed. Dammit, he hadn't even been trying to piss her off that time!
"So, I'm not normal. Do you think I don't know that?" Illyana plopped down into a chair sulkily. "I wonder if anyone else would like to point that out today. Maybe I should do a survey on the forum. I wouldn't want anyone to feel left out."
Crap, was this some kind of girl thing?! Inu-yasha had no idea what was going on. Flustered, he all but yelled, "The whole school's full of freaks with weird stories, idiot! What're you getting all dramatic for?"
"Because I'm frustrated, asshole!" Illyana snapped back. "Because I don't want to talk about it, and you keep asking more questions!"
The hell?? "You asked me shit and I answered!" He put his Coke down so hard it splashed out of the can. "And it's not like there's anyone else to ask about it! You don't want questions, don't take people to hell, witch!"
"Stop calling me witch!" Illyana slammed her hand down on the table, causing his Coke to splash again. "I'm not a witch!"
"Whatever!!" Inu-yasha shouted back at her, claws actually pricking through the can as it dented. He growled at himself, shaking soda off his hand.
"Whatever!" Illyana countered, but her lips twitched upward at the sight of him shaking soda from his claws while spurts of soda jetted out from the can. "Okay, that was awesome."
"It's not awesome, it's friggin' annoying," Inu-yasha grouched back at her, standing and tossing the whole soda in the sink before grabbing a roll of paper towels. "Why's everything so damn fragile?!"
"Probably because it's not designed for people with claws in mind? Why don't you file them or something?" Illyana asked.
Inu-yasha snorted. "These can cut through steel - you think a file would work? And why would I want to file my best weapons anyway? You remember what happened to that demon."
"Well, yeah, but unless you want me to bring demons here for you to fight, I don't think you're going to have to do it all the time." Illyana shrugged. "Plus, if you filed them, you wouldn't poke holes in your soda."
"What, are you nuts?" Inu-yasha scowled at her. A few problems with soda were nothing compared to being defenseless.
"Not when last I checked," Illyana snapped back. "But whatever, poke holes in things rather than shorten a couple of claws. Not my problem."
And here he'd thought she was smarter than that, a survivor. That was a lesson he'd learned early in life: never give up an advantage. "You don't make a knife dull because it might cut you, you keep the weapon."
Illyana considered that, grimaced, and nodded. "Fair." She got to her feet and went over to the refrigerator to pull out another can.
“I-- huh?" Inu-yasha hadn't expected her to actually agree with him, and he blinked at her, a little stupefied. But okay, whatever. He let it go, plopping back down in his seat and yanking off a paper towel to dab at the soda on the table.
"I said that's fair." Illyana shrugged as she brought him a replacement soda.
Inu-yasha was even more confused as she handed him the soda. At a complete loss, he actually muttered "thanks" before he'd realized what had happened.
Illyana shrugged. "No prob." She paused for a moment, then asked, "Want to take the chips and go watch some TV?"
"...yeah, sure." Inu-yasha rarely watched TV, partly because he'd never really had one, and partly because he didn't know how to work the remotes and shit and didn't feel like letting on. Watching with someone else could solve that problem. "Why not."
