Kurt and Billy Backdated
Oct. 25th, 2018 11:44 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ax_mainBilly gets up the courage to go talk to Kurt about his new relationship and it feels awful.
Billy took a deep breath as he tried to steady himself, making sure he didn’t show nerves as he knocked on Bobby and Kurt’s dorm door. Part of him hoped that Kurt wouldn’t be in there at all, that way he could skip this for one more day, but that would be the shitty thing to do.
Kurt's friendly smile when he opened the door brightened upon seeing who was on the other side of it. "Sorry, Billy, Bobby just stepped out," he joked.
Billy let out a laugh at Kurt’s joke, though it was a little strained and he shook his head. “No, no. I, ah, I was actually wanting to talk to you. If you had time of course.”
God, why was Kurt so cute and sweet? He really didn’t want to do this.
Kurt’s brow knit with concern. “Of course. Please,” he said, gesturing for Billy to come inside as he stepped aside to clear the doorway.
Billy took a deep breath, but nodded in thanks as he made his way into the room, wringing his hands tightly as he thought of the best way to word this. He turned around to face the other and blew out the deep breath. “So, I have something I need to talk to you about. Um, and I’m kind of scared to talk about it cause I really don’t want you to hate me.”
Now Kurt really was worried. “I could never hate you,” he reassured even as that worry began to put his stomach in knots. He closed the door and gestured to his desk chair. “Would you like to sit?”
Oh, just you wait.. Billy nodded and took the seat Kurt offered, planting his feet and making the chair rock a bit before folding his hands in his lap. “Okay. So...ugh. I don’t even know how to start this. You are amazing, by the way, like holy shit you are probably one of the best guys I’ve ever really known. Okay?”
This was not coming out right, but he needed Kurt to know that.
"Okay," Kurt said slowly. This was starting to sound eerily similar to a conversation he'd had with the first girl he'd ever kissed.
Kurt turned Bobby's desk chair to face Billy and sat down in it. "I sense there is a 'but' coming. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
Billy looked at him, taking a deep breath to give him the courage and nodded. “Okay, so I’m not sure if you knew, but I had the biggest crush on my roommate Teddy. Like, it was really sad,” He pauses and winced a little as he corrected himself. “Is really sad, but when I danced with you at the Brotherhood I was a hundred percent ready to let that go because you are...Wow.”
Billy grabbed the hem on his shirt and twisted it tightly in his hands. “Then some stuff happened, and he confessed that he was gay as well as admitting to liking me.” God, he was such a fucking scuzz ball. “I really like him, Kurt. Like, too much and I know we had...umm...ugh. This is sounding so much worse out loud.”
Oh.
Kurt’s heart sank. “You and Teddy are dating,” he supplied.
Billy flinched at the words and never before did he think he would feel bad about dating Teddy. “I...yeah.” He finished quietly, feeling slightly relieved the band aid had been ripped off, but also a little nauseous. “Kurt, I’m sorry. I mean, I know we weren’t dating, but we had something working there and...I’m sorry for being such a bastard.”
It was true; Kurt and Billy had not been dating. There had been no promise of anything, just the possibility. He certainly wasn’t mad Billy, nor did he blame him for anything. Yet…at the moment, all he suddenly wanted was to be alone. “You are not a bastard. I—” He mustered a smile. “I am happy for you both.” He meant it, even though his chest ached with disappointment.
Billy licked his lips, unsure what to do or say and that made him feel worse. The smile on Kurt’s face didn’t really reach his eyes and Billy wondered if he’d ruined what could have been a really good friendship. “I-Thank you...Kurt...”
He stood up and made the smallest move towards the other boy, but stopped when he thought about it. “Should I leave?”
Kurt hesitated, but said, “If you need to talk more, we can.”
“If I need to?” Billy couldn’t believe how Kurt was still being so...Kurt. “Kurt, what I need doesn’t matter. I want to know what you need. If you want me to stay and talk I will, but if you’d rather not then that’s fine.”
How did Billy saying that make what Kurt wanted harder to say? “I think I would like to be alone,” Kurt said after another hesitant pause.
It didn’t hurt as much as Billy was worried it would when Kurt told him that he really did want him to leave and he quickly nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
He started to move towards the door, but the stopped before reaching out for the door knob. He turned slightly and bit his lip before saying one last thing. “Kurt, I know I said sorry already, but I really meant it. Please, don’t take this as you aren’t good enough or something like that cause it’s not true in the fucking slightest. You are one of the best things in this school and I don’t want you to think that just because I’m doing this, that it means you aren’t.”
He could go on and on about how great Kurt was, but the boy needed to hear that from someone that wasn’t Billy. He shut his mouth, taking a slow breath before turning back around and leaving as quietly as he could. Fuck he was the worst.
Kurt felt like a jerk, but a wave of relief washed over him when the door clicked shut. He moved from the chair to his bed and flopped down on the mattress, curling up on his side. He liked Billy and he really was happy for him. He’d just hoped—Well, it didn’t matter what he’d hoped. And, Gott, he knew Billy meant well, but hearing about how great he was from the same person who was telling him he didn’t want to date him hadn’t made things easier.
Sighing quietly, Kurt looped his tail comfortingly about his own ankle. It would be alright. He’d let himself indulge in some self-pity for a little while, and then he’d pick himself back up again. Yes, it would be alright.
Billy took a deep breath as he tried to steady himself, making sure he didn’t show nerves as he knocked on Bobby and Kurt’s dorm door. Part of him hoped that Kurt wouldn’t be in there at all, that way he could skip this for one more day, but that would be the shitty thing to do.
Kurt's friendly smile when he opened the door brightened upon seeing who was on the other side of it. "Sorry, Billy, Bobby just stepped out," he joked.
Billy let out a laugh at Kurt’s joke, though it was a little strained and he shook his head. “No, no. I, ah, I was actually wanting to talk to you. If you had time of course.”
God, why was Kurt so cute and sweet? He really didn’t want to do this.
Kurt’s brow knit with concern. “Of course. Please,” he said, gesturing for Billy to come inside as he stepped aside to clear the doorway.
Billy took a deep breath, but nodded in thanks as he made his way into the room, wringing his hands tightly as he thought of the best way to word this. He turned around to face the other and blew out the deep breath. “So, I have something I need to talk to you about. Um, and I’m kind of scared to talk about it cause I really don’t want you to hate me.”
Now Kurt really was worried. “I could never hate you,” he reassured even as that worry began to put his stomach in knots. He closed the door and gestured to his desk chair. “Would you like to sit?”
Oh, just you wait.. Billy nodded and took the seat Kurt offered, planting his feet and making the chair rock a bit before folding his hands in his lap. “Okay. So...ugh. I don’t even know how to start this. You are amazing, by the way, like holy shit you are probably one of the best guys I’ve ever really known. Okay?”
This was not coming out right, but he needed Kurt to know that.
"Okay," Kurt said slowly. This was starting to sound eerily similar to a conversation he'd had with the first girl he'd ever kissed.
Kurt turned Bobby's desk chair to face Billy and sat down in it. "I sense there is a 'but' coming. Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
Billy looked at him, taking a deep breath to give him the courage and nodded. “Okay, so I’m not sure if you knew, but I had the biggest crush on my roommate Teddy. Like, it was really sad,” He pauses and winced a little as he corrected himself. “Is really sad, but when I danced with you at the Brotherhood I was a hundred percent ready to let that go because you are...Wow.”
Billy grabbed the hem on his shirt and twisted it tightly in his hands. “Then some stuff happened, and he confessed that he was gay as well as admitting to liking me.” God, he was such a fucking scuzz ball. “I really like him, Kurt. Like, too much and I know we had...umm...ugh. This is sounding so much worse out loud.”
Oh.
Kurt’s heart sank. “You and Teddy are dating,” he supplied.
Billy flinched at the words and never before did he think he would feel bad about dating Teddy. “I...yeah.” He finished quietly, feeling slightly relieved the band aid had been ripped off, but also a little nauseous. “Kurt, I’m sorry. I mean, I know we weren’t dating, but we had something working there and...I’m sorry for being such a bastard.”
It was true; Kurt and Billy had not been dating. There had been no promise of anything, just the possibility. He certainly wasn’t mad Billy, nor did he blame him for anything. Yet…at the moment, all he suddenly wanted was to be alone. “You are not a bastard. I—” He mustered a smile. “I am happy for you both.” He meant it, even though his chest ached with disappointment.
Billy licked his lips, unsure what to do or say and that made him feel worse. The smile on Kurt’s face didn’t really reach his eyes and Billy wondered if he’d ruined what could have been a really good friendship. “I-Thank you...Kurt...”
He stood up and made the smallest move towards the other boy, but stopped when he thought about it. “Should I leave?”
Kurt hesitated, but said, “If you need to talk more, we can.”
“If I need to?” Billy couldn’t believe how Kurt was still being so...Kurt. “Kurt, what I need doesn’t matter. I want to know what you need. If you want me to stay and talk I will, but if you’d rather not then that’s fine.”
How did Billy saying that make what Kurt wanted harder to say? “I think I would like to be alone,” Kurt said after another hesitant pause.
It didn’t hurt as much as Billy was worried it would when Kurt told him that he really did want him to leave and he quickly nodded. “Yeah, of course.”
He started to move towards the door, but the stopped before reaching out for the door knob. He turned slightly and bit his lip before saying one last thing. “Kurt, I know I said sorry already, but I really meant it. Please, don’t take this as you aren’t good enough or something like that cause it’s not true in the fucking slightest. You are one of the best things in this school and I don’t want you to think that just because I’m doing this, that it means you aren’t.”
He could go on and on about how great Kurt was, but the boy needed to hear that from someone that wasn’t Billy. He shut his mouth, taking a slow breath before turning back around and leaving as quietly as he could. Fuck he was the worst.
Kurt felt like a jerk, but a wave of relief washed over him when the door clicked shut. He moved from the chair to his bed and flopped down on the mattress, curling up on his side. He liked Billy and he really was happy for him. He’d just hoped—Well, it didn’t matter what he’d hoped. And, Gott, he knew Billy meant well, but hearing about how great he was from the same person who was telling him he didn’t want to date him hadn’t made things easier.
Sighing quietly, Kurt looped his tail comfortingly about his own ankle. It would be alright. He’d let himself indulge in some self-pity for a little while, and then he’d pick himself back up again. Yes, it would be alright.
no subject
Date: 2018-01-02 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-02 07:51 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2018-01-02 11:11 pm (UTC)Wanda, on the other hand, is kind of relieved, because the idea of her son dating the guy she had a kid with is possibly enough to finally break her brain. :)