Kurt and Jeanne-Marie at Shinobi's party
Oct. 27th, 2017 12:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ax_mainJeanne-Marie isn't feeling the party spirit. Kurt decides to find out why.. and gets cried on.
The only thing that could spoil Jeanne-Marie's enjoyment of an evening with her friends at a party was... that she was annoyed that Jean-Paul was there. Not only there, but ignoring her as effectively as she was ignoring him. It wasn't that she'd expected him to speak to her; she knew very well he never would. He didn't need her now anyhow, unless she agreed with him completely, apparently.
She tried to cheer herself up with a cocktail. She was becoming fond of cranberry and vodka, especially with a little twist of lime. And maybe someone would sing something good on karaoke.
Kurt had just tossed his empty cup into the trash when he spotted Jeanne-Marie standing off to the side by herself. She looked as if she was thinking very seriously about something and not at all like she was enjoying herself at the party. It was a party! Everyone should be having fun!
Concerned, Kurt weaved his way through the crowd over to where Jeanne-Marie stood. “Hallo,” he greeted with a friendly smile. “How is the brightest star at the party doing?”
Seeing him lifted her cares almost immediately. The smile that appeared was very real. "Better, now that I've seen you!" She took his arm. "I was getting melancholy. It doesn't suit me.”
“Everything suits you, fraulein, but I agree melancholy is no good for a party.” Kurt rested his hand over Jeanne-Marie’s. “Do you need to talk, or would you prefer a distraction?” He was more than happy to provide either, or both if needed.
“Oh, distract me please, mon cher,” she practically begged after another sip. “I can’t stand thinking about gloomy things let alone at a party.”
Who could say no to that? “Distraction I can do. May I suggest dancing, or karaoke? I hear they are excellent distractions and I happen to be rated number one in Germany at both.”
"I believe it!" Jeanne-Marie giggled. "Oh, let's dance. We can sing later--when I've had another drink. I want to so much, though! What should we sing when we do?”
“Danke Schoen?” Kurt jokingly suggested as he led Jeanne-Marie toward the dance floor. The song playing at the moment was not one he recognized, but it was upbeat and people were bouncing around happily to it. “Something fun. That people like to dance to.”
"Yes! Maybe some Abba!" She laughed--and oh, if felt so good. She swung onto the dance floor and put her arms around his neck, already moving with the beat. "Or Cher!”
Kurt laughed, dancing along with Jeanne-Marie. He spun her out, then tugged her back in, twirling her. “Perfect choices. I could not think of any better.”
She laughed all the way through their dancing, flirting and chatting with Kurt like nothing had been bothering her a few moments before. He had such good rhythm, and his fur was so nice and silky between her fingers, and everything was just perfect for a moment. "Thank you, Kurt," she whispered into his ear near the end of the song.
“Any time,” Kurt told Jeanne-Marie just as softly and he meant it. Someone with such a beautiful heart should never be that unhappy and he’d gladly be her distraction any time she needed it. But, a distraction, he knew, could only do so much and last so long. Troubles would not allow themselves to be ignored for long.
Kurt stepped back, taking Jeanne-Marie’s hands in his. “Take a walk with me?”
Without a second thought, Jeanne-Marie nodded. One of her hands slipped out of his, but the other stayed, fingers intertwined with his. She liked the way Kurt's hands felt. They were always warm, and so strong. "I'd love to." She sighed slightly, though she was still flushed and smiling from the dance.
His hand in Jeanne-Marie’s, Kurt started on a slow walk toward the gardens. They’d be beautiful at this time of night and would offer them a bit of privacy should Jeanne-Marie feel like talking. “How are your classes?” he asked.
"Nice, for the most part," Jeanne-Marie admitted. "It's a relief to not have a nun looking over my shoulder all the time--I feel like I could learn anything, here. How about you?”
“Nice, for the most part too,” Kurt said with a smile. “It is very different than homeschooling, so it took some getting used to, but I like it. History is my favorite, I think. Apart from dance and gym, of course.”
"Same--so very much my favorite." Jeanne-Marie sighed a little and bumped into his shoulder with hers. "And I like everyone here so much. That makes it a lot easier." Except….
Kurt put his arm around Jeanne-Marie’s shoulders in a hug as they passed into the garden. “Yet something still has you so sad. What is wrong, fraulein?” he asked gently. “You can talk to me.”
She leaned into him, eyes burning slightly. And after a few more steps and minutes, heart aching with Kurt's kindness, she admitted, "I don't think he even misses me.”
The sorrow in Jeanne-Marie’s voice made Kurt’s heart ache for her. He sat them down on a bench, leaving a comforting arm around Jeanne-Marie. “Who? I cannot imagine anyone could know you and not miss you.”
"My brother," she whispered, leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder. "He hasn't spoken to me since Xavier's announcement about the X-Men. He was so scary--I can't talk to him. I don't even know what I said wrong. I don't think I did. But it still hurts.”
Kurt had the sudden urge to find Jean-Paul and shake some sense into him. Repeatedly. “Oh, Jeanne-Marie,” he said softly, soothingly stroking her hair. “What did he say? Whatever it was, I am sure he did not mean it. Anyone who knows you two, knows how much you care about one another.”
"He just kept telling me all the reasons the X-Men are a bad idea, and I tried to acknowledge his points and tell him why I thought the good outweighed the bad, but things got heated..." She shook her head. "It's hard to even remember, anymore. It ended in anger. He said nothing he could say would matter and he walked away. So angry.”
Kurt’s brow knit and he made a quiet sound. “Did you tell him you were thinking of joining the X-Men?” he asked.
She nodded. "He didn't like that I wouldn't be swayed, and I didn't like that he wouldn't. We had opposite ideas.”
The news that Jeanne-Marie was joining the X-Men too came as a surprise, but it was a conversation for another day. “Not that this will in any way make it right, but do you think maybe he was scared? The sister he just reunited with is going to be risking her life. If I were in Jean-Paul’s place, I would be terrified of losing you again. Perhaps, he did not know how to deal with that so he lashed out?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe. When he’s frightened, I suppose he would either punch or run—and he can’t punch this.” She sighed. “But then why would he stop speaking to me? Isn’t that losing me?”
“I do not know,” Kurt answered apologetically. “Fear is not always rational, nor are hurt feelings. But, I do know a thing or two about having siblings and they have an infinite capacity to forgive and understand one another.” He gave her a gentle squeeze. “I think you should talk to him.”
“I would if I could,” Jeanne-Marie said. “I know it sounds stupid, silly, childish. But I’m scared. I’m so scared.” She buried her face in his shoulder.
Kurt hurt for Jeanne-Marie. He hugged her tighter, murmuring consolingly, “Oh, mein Lieber, es tut mir leid. Alles wird gut. Ich verspreche. What are you afraid of?”
For a long moment, nothing. Then, in a small voice: “What if he’s done with me? What if he doesn’t care anymore?”
Kurt broke the hug so he could take Jeanne-Marie’s face between his hands and look her in the eyes. Gott, forget shaking Jean-Paul. He wanted to teleport away now, find Jean-Paul, and drag him here to make him reassure his sister that he loved her still.
“Oh, no. No, Jeanne-Marie. He could not possibly. Your brother loves you. Siblings fight. They get angry at one another, but that does not mean they stop caring about one another.” Kurt’s hands dropped to take hers and he held her gaze still. “I do not think anyone could be done with you so easily.”
“He has Warren now,” she said, meeting his gaze through tears. “He doesn’t need me. If he was just angry... why won’t he speak?”
Kurt really, really wanted to go find Jean-Paul and give him a piece of his mind for making Jeanne-Marie feel like this. “There are so many possibilities and all of them more likely than him being done with you. Maybe his pride is getting in the way? Maybe he is still upset? Or maybe he is afraid that it is you who are done with him?”
"I tried to get him to stay and talk; he walked away." Jeanne-Marie shook her head. "Maybe it's his pride. I'm sure he's scared too--though he'd never admit it.
"I think he'd rather be done than try. It hurts." A tear slipped down her cheek.
Kurt wiped the tear from Jeanne-Marie’s cheek with his thumb. “Oh, liebchen, no,” he said gently. “No. He loves you; he could never just be done with you.”
“You don’t know him...” Jeanne Marie leaned closer and rested her head on Kurt’s shoulder, her face in his neck. “But then... I suppose I never did either.”
She’d thought he loved her. That he was loyal. Hot-headed, yes, but to cut her out because she disagreed? What was she missing here?
Kurt stroked Jeanne-Marie's hair consolingly. He wished there was more he could do, that he could fix this for her. "Have you tried to talk to him since your disagreement?"
Jeanne-Marie shook her head. The only thing she could think of was, "He told me I was wrong, but that he wouldn't leave me. He was so dismissive of why it was important to me... I told him he didn't have to be my martyr and he couldn't talk to me like I was stupid. He got so mad, and when I tried to stop him from leaving..." She just kept shaking her head. "Something about it, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have grabbed his arm? I think of it all the time, replaying it.
"But I can't, now. If he's still angry. If I see him like that again…"
Kurt went still. “Jeanne-Marie, did Jean-Paul hurt you?”
"He would never," she replied immediately. "I know what it sounds like--but I'm sure it's only because for me, anger has always meant I was going to be hurt. I think... I think it's always meant the same for him too. I wonder if we're feeling the same thing.
"I did have that reaction, that I was scared in that way, but it wasn't real. I know it for certain." She hadn't for a while, she could now admit it to herself. But after too much thought and reflection, she understood... or she thought she did.
Kurt nodded, but said nothing. The knowledge that Jeanne-Marie had been hurt in the past filled him with a red-hot kind of anger he’d never experienced before. He rubbed her back, quiet while she talked, letting her get out whatever it was that had been rolling around in her head since her argument with Jean-Paul.
After a few moments, she took a deep breath and wiped at her face. "Thank you, Kurt. I'm just. So tired of being like this. It's always hanging over me. I want to be normal.”
Kurt help wiped Jeanne-Marie's face, using the edge of a sleeve to clean up her smudged make-up. "If being a mutant has taught me anything, it is that being different does not make us not normal. This is true no matter what, even if those differences come from a wound that has not yet healed." He took her hands. "You are normal and you are wonderful. Do not forget it.”
Jeanne-Marie smiled through her sniffles and leaned heavily against Kurt. "I almost believe you, you know." She'd probably believe anything Kurt said, honestly.
Kurt put an arm around Jeanne-Marie. "You should. I would not lie to you." He crossed his heart.
She snuggled into him and let her head rest on his shoulder. "I know it. Is it okay if we sit here for a moment longer. I want to go back to the party, but I need to calm down. I don't want anyone to see I was upset.”
“Of course,” Kurt said, hugging Jeanne-Marie in. “We can take as long as you want."
The only thing that could spoil Jeanne-Marie's enjoyment of an evening with her friends at a party was... that she was annoyed that Jean-Paul was there. Not only there, but ignoring her as effectively as she was ignoring him. It wasn't that she'd expected him to speak to her; she knew very well he never would. He didn't need her now anyhow, unless she agreed with him completely, apparently.
She tried to cheer herself up with a cocktail. She was becoming fond of cranberry and vodka, especially with a little twist of lime. And maybe someone would sing something good on karaoke.
Kurt had just tossed his empty cup into the trash when he spotted Jeanne-Marie standing off to the side by herself. She looked as if she was thinking very seriously about something and not at all like she was enjoying herself at the party. It was a party! Everyone should be having fun!
Concerned, Kurt weaved his way through the crowd over to where Jeanne-Marie stood. “Hallo,” he greeted with a friendly smile. “How is the brightest star at the party doing?”
Seeing him lifted her cares almost immediately. The smile that appeared was very real. "Better, now that I've seen you!" She took his arm. "I was getting melancholy. It doesn't suit me.”
“Everything suits you, fraulein, but I agree melancholy is no good for a party.” Kurt rested his hand over Jeanne-Marie’s. “Do you need to talk, or would you prefer a distraction?” He was more than happy to provide either, or both if needed.
“Oh, distract me please, mon cher,” she practically begged after another sip. “I can’t stand thinking about gloomy things let alone at a party.”
Who could say no to that? “Distraction I can do. May I suggest dancing, or karaoke? I hear they are excellent distractions and I happen to be rated number one in Germany at both.”
"I believe it!" Jeanne-Marie giggled. "Oh, let's dance. We can sing later--when I've had another drink. I want to so much, though! What should we sing when we do?”
“Danke Schoen?” Kurt jokingly suggested as he led Jeanne-Marie toward the dance floor. The song playing at the moment was not one he recognized, but it was upbeat and people were bouncing around happily to it. “Something fun. That people like to dance to.”
"Yes! Maybe some Abba!" She laughed--and oh, if felt so good. She swung onto the dance floor and put her arms around his neck, already moving with the beat. "Or Cher!”
Kurt laughed, dancing along with Jeanne-Marie. He spun her out, then tugged her back in, twirling her. “Perfect choices. I could not think of any better.”
She laughed all the way through their dancing, flirting and chatting with Kurt like nothing had been bothering her a few moments before. He had such good rhythm, and his fur was so nice and silky between her fingers, and everything was just perfect for a moment. "Thank you, Kurt," she whispered into his ear near the end of the song.
“Any time,” Kurt told Jeanne-Marie just as softly and he meant it. Someone with such a beautiful heart should never be that unhappy and he’d gladly be her distraction any time she needed it. But, a distraction, he knew, could only do so much and last so long. Troubles would not allow themselves to be ignored for long.
Kurt stepped back, taking Jeanne-Marie’s hands in his. “Take a walk with me?”
Without a second thought, Jeanne-Marie nodded. One of her hands slipped out of his, but the other stayed, fingers intertwined with his. She liked the way Kurt's hands felt. They were always warm, and so strong. "I'd love to." She sighed slightly, though she was still flushed and smiling from the dance.
His hand in Jeanne-Marie’s, Kurt started on a slow walk toward the gardens. They’d be beautiful at this time of night and would offer them a bit of privacy should Jeanne-Marie feel like talking. “How are your classes?” he asked.
"Nice, for the most part," Jeanne-Marie admitted. "It's a relief to not have a nun looking over my shoulder all the time--I feel like I could learn anything, here. How about you?”
“Nice, for the most part too,” Kurt said with a smile. “It is very different than homeschooling, so it took some getting used to, but I like it. History is my favorite, I think. Apart from dance and gym, of course.”
"Same--so very much my favorite." Jeanne-Marie sighed a little and bumped into his shoulder with hers. "And I like everyone here so much. That makes it a lot easier." Except….
Kurt put his arm around Jeanne-Marie’s shoulders in a hug as they passed into the garden. “Yet something still has you so sad. What is wrong, fraulein?” he asked gently. “You can talk to me.”
She leaned into him, eyes burning slightly. And after a few more steps and minutes, heart aching with Kurt's kindness, she admitted, "I don't think he even misses me.”
The sorrow in Jeanne-Marie’s voice made Kurt’s heart ache for her. He sat them down on a bench, leaving a comforting arm around Jeanne-Marie. “Who? I cannot imagine anyone could know you and not miss you.”
"My brother," she whispered, leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder. "He hasn't spoken to me since Xavier's announcement about the X-Men. He was so scary--I can't talk to him. I don't even know what I said wrong. I don't think I did. But it still hurts.”
Kurt had the sudden urge to find Jean-Paul and shake some sense into him. Repeatedly. “Oh, Jeanne-Marie,” he said softly, soothingly stroking her hair. “What did he say? Whatever it was, I am sure he did not mean it. Anyone who knows you two, knows how much you care about one another.”
"He just kept telling me all the reasons the X-Men are a bad idea, and I tried to acknowledge his points and tell him why I thought the good outweighed the bad, but things got heated..." She shook her head. "It's hard to even remember, anymore. It ended in anger. He said nothing he could say would matter and he walked away. So angry.”
Kurt’s brow knit and he made a quiet sound. “Did you tell him you were thinking of joining the X-Men?” he asked.
She nodded. "He didn't like that I wouldn't be swayed, and I didn't like that he wouldn't. We had opposite ideas.”
The news that Jeanne-Marie was joining the X-Men too came as a surprise, but it was a conversation for another day. “Not that this will in any way make it right, but do you think maybe he was scared? The sister he just reunited with is going to be risking her life. If I were in Jean-Paul’s place, I would be terrified of losing you again. Perhaps, he did not know how to deal with that so he lashed out?”
She shook her head. “I don’t know. Maybe. When he’s frightened, I suppose he would either punch or run—and he can’t punch this.” She sighed. “But then why would he stop speaking to me? Isn’t that losing me?”
“I do not know,” Kurt answered apologetically. “Fear is not always rational, nor are hurt feelings. But, I do know a thing or two about having siblings and they have an infinite capacity to forgive and understand one another.” He gave her a gentle squeeze. “I think you should talk to him.”
“I would if I could,” Jeanne-Marie said. “I know it sounds stupid, silly, childish. But I’m scared. I’m so scared.” She buried her face in his shoulder.
Kurt hurt for Jeanne-Marie. He hugged her tighter, murmuring consolingly, “Oh, mein Lieber, es tut mir leid. Alles wird gut. Ich verspreche. What are you afraid of?”
For a long moment, nothing. Then, in a small voice: “What if he’s done with me? What if he doesn’t care anymore?”
Kurt broke the hug so he could take Jeanne-Marie’s face between his hands and look her in the eyes. Gott, forget shaking Jean-Paul. He wanted to teleport away now, find Jean-Paul, and drag him here to make him reassure his sister that he loved her still.
“Oh, no. No, Jeanne-Marie. He could not possibly. Your brother loves you. Siblings fight. They get angry at one another, but that does not mean they stop caring about one another.” Kurt’s hands dropped to take hers and he held her gaze still. “I do not think anyone could be done with you so easily.”
“He has Warren now,” she said, meeting his gaze through tears. “He doesn’t need me. If he was just angry... why won’t he speak?”
Kurt really, really wanted to go find Jean-Paul and give him a piece of his mind for making Jeanne-Marie feel like this. “There are so many possibilities and all of them more likely than him being done with you. Maybe his pride is getting in the way? Maybe he is still upset? Or maybe he is afraid that it is you who are done with him?”
"I tried to get him to stay and talk; he walked away." Jeanne-Marie shook her head. "Maybe it's his pride. I'm sure he's scared too--though he'd never admit it.
"I think he'd rather be done than try. It hurts." A tear slipped down her cheek.
Kurt wiped the tear from Jeanne-Marie’s cheek with his thumb. “Oh, liebchen, no,” he said gently. “No. He loves you; he could never just be done with you.”
“You don’t know him...” Jeanne Marie leaned closer and rested her head on Kurt’s shoulder, her face in his neck. “But then... I suppose I never did either.”
She’d thought he loved her. That he was loyal. Hot-headed, yes, but to cut her out because she disagreed? What was she missing here?
Kurt stroked Jeanne-Marie's hair consolingly. He wished there was more he could do, that he could fix this for her. "Have you tried to talk to him since your disagreement?"
Jeanne-Marie shook her head. The only thing she could think of was, "He told me I was wrong, but that he wouldn't leave me. He was so dismissive of why it was important to me... I told him he didn't have to be my martyr and he couldn't talk to me like I was stupid. He got so mad, and when I tried to stop him from leaving..." She just kept shaking her head. "Something about it, I don't know. Maybe I shouldn't have grabbed his arm? I think of it all the time, replaying it.
"But I can't, now. If he's still angry. If I see him like that again…"
Kurt went still. “Jeanne-Marie, did Jean-Paul hurt you?”
"He would never," she replied immediately. "I know what it sounds like--but I'm sure it's only because for me, anger has always meant I was going to be hurt. I think... I think it's always meant the same for him too. I wonder if we're feeling the same thing.
"I did have that reaction, that I was scared in that way, but it wasn't real. I know it for certain." She hadn't for a while, she could now admit it to herself. But after too much thought and reflection, she understood... or she thought she did.
Kurt nodded, but said nothing. The knowledge that Jeanne-Marie had been hurt in the past filled him with a red-hot kind of anger he’d never experienced before. He rubbed her back, quiet while she talked, letting her get out whatever it was that had been rolling around in her head since her argument with Jean-Paul.
After a few moments, she took a deep breath and wiped at her face. "Thank you, Kurt. I'm just. So tired of being like this. It's always hanging over me. I want to be normal.”
Kurt help wiped Jeanne-Marie's face, using the edge of a sleeve to clean up her smudged make-up. "If being a mutant has taught me anything, it is that being different does not make us not normal. This is true no matter what, even if those differences come from a wound that has not yet healed." He took her hands. "You are normal and you are wonderful. Do not forget it.”
Jeanne-Marie smiled through her sniffles and leaned heavily against Kurt. "I almost believe you, you know." She'd probably believe anything Kurt said, honestly.
Kurt put an arm around Jeanne-Marie. "You should. I would not lie to you." He crossed his heart.
She snuggled into him and let her head rest on his shoulder. "I know it. Is it okay if we sit here for a moment longer. I want to go back to the party, but I need to calm down. I don't want anyone to see I was upset.”
“Of course,” Kurt said, hugging Jeanne-Marie in. “We can take as long as you want."
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Date: 2017-11-30 11:20 pm (UTC)