Jay and Jeb, Oct 2

[ax_icarus]

After the announcement, Jay and Jeb fight about the future. They both have very different reactions because of their family's traumatic past.

Jeb followed Jay back to his room, where he knew there was going to be a discussion. Probably something closer to a fight, if he was being honest. He'd promised his brother they'd talk, though, and so they'd talk. He owed him that much, as family.

Once they were in the privacy of Jay's room, Jeb crossed his arms. "You don't like it," Jeb guessed. "You think it's bad news."

Jay shouldered his way between his brother and the door, blocking his way out of the argument they were about to have. "You're damn right I think it's bad news. And you better be damn sure you're not gettin' involved."

"Says you," Jeb shot back, tilting his head forward at him, glaring a bit. "You got your music. Sam's got the mines. In case you forgot, I'm turnin' fifteen soon. I'm growin' up, Jay. And I wanna be a part a'somethin'."

"Fantastic. So pick somethin' that's not gonna get you killed. Glad we had this talk." Jay didn't posture--he just let his height speak for itself.

"What are you gonna do? Tell mama?" Jeb asked, angrily. "I ain't gonna get myself killed. I'm gonna have people watchin' my back."

"And they're gonna get their dumb asses killed, too! Maybe I will tell mama. She'll pull us both right outta here."

"You tell mama and bad things will happen," Jeb shot back. "This is supposed to be secret. You tell anyone, and you risk havin' somethin' real, real bad happen," he warned. "Let me be a part of this, Jay. Let me do somethin' important for ... for our kind."

"Jeb..." Jay pushed his thumb into his forehead, trying to dig out the budding headache starting behind his right eye. "No. This is all completely crazy. I'm starting to wonder about this whole place, why would they even be tellin' all this to a bunch of kids?"

"We're not just kids," Jeb said. "We're people like anyone else. And there's enough of us to make a difference. You saw that protest. You saw how much hate there is for us. Doing this can maybe help fix that."

"We are just kids, Jeb. We are. And they're trying to make us child soldiers."

"No, he's not. He's... God damn it, Jay!" Jeb yelled, bristling. "I don't want anymore Julias!"

Jay visibly stopped himself from lunging forward, his arm already coming up but stopping before actually striking. "I don't want you to end up like Julia, you goddamn idiot!"

"You think I don't know that?" Jeb yelled. "But I'm not gonna sit around with my thumb up my ass! I'm tougher than you think!" He was standing his ground, resisting the urge to deck Jay, if only because Jay had clearly resisted the urge to do the same. "Sam ain't here. Mama ain't here. Pa's been buried for year. It's just you an' me, here. And yer my brother. I know you worry about me. But God damn it, I worry about you! I wanted to tear the Cabots in half after what they did!" Jeb found himself suddenly occupied with his feet. "You weren't there. After it all. When you were ... away. Them Cabot boys were animals. Gloatin' about what happened. Like they was all proud and tough 'cause of it."

"I know. I know they're monsters. I was there when it happened, you little shit." Jay was losing focus on the room, drifting away from the time and place where he was standing. He was even losing the thread of the argument. "You think I don't how there's everyone out there all the time tryin' to turn this world into kill or be killed? Because guess what, Jeb. I'm bigger 'n you, an' I'm older 'n you, an' they already killed me once. You ready to shoot one o' the Cabot boys with your powers? Gonna walk right up and fry 'im an' watch 'em burn? 'Cause you keep goin' down this road that's what you're gonna hafta do. Or they'll take you an' put you in the creek. An' you won't come back like I did."

"I already did!" Jeb said. "An' I ain't a goddamn monster! I ain't gonna kill anyone that don't need a good killin', and those Cabot boys might got that comin' to 'em, but I got brains enough to know that I ain't fit to make that decision!" Jeb said, standing his ground. "Mama sent me here when I shot one'a them Cabot boys with my eyes! 'Cause I had to do it, to stop 'em from kickin' my goddamn head in! I've been in my share'a fights, Jay. You might be bigger, you might be older, but you sure as hell ain't better than me. Guthries stand together. I ain't gonna sit here throwin' shade on you 'cause you wanna sit it out."

"Who's throwin' shade now? You think I'm sayin' all this to you 'cause I'm a coward? Is that seriously what you just fuckin' said to me?"

"No! You ain't ... you ain't fuckin' listening to me!" Jeb yelled. "I said you don't wanna be a part'a this! I respect that, dammit!"

Jay pinched the bridge of his nose, trying to squeeze back tears that were threatening to rise. "I don't understand why you want to run straight at the danger, Jeb. What would mama do if she lost you?"

"What would we do if we lost mama?" Jeb shot back. "What if someone came at her fer bein' a mom to mutants like us? She don't have a gun, she don't have the means to protect 'erself. But I can."

"Don't even say that." The color all washed out of Jay's face, and he slumped back against the door. "Why does it gotta be like this?" he asked after a long moment. "It's not right. It's not fair."

Jeb took the few moments to take a deep breath, okay, maybe two. Calm his nerves a bit. "Ain't nobody knows what unfair is better than you," Jeb said, sincerely. "But I ain't gonna stand to see anyone hurt like you was hurt. Never again. Even if I gotta stick my neck out. I won't be alone. And some'a these kids 'ere are real fuckin' tough. We'll look out fer each other."

"I can't stop you. We both know I can't stop you."

"Yer damn right you can't," Jeb said. "But you gotta know I'm smarter than you think. I ain't gonna go on any mission I think is suicide, or wrong, or whatever. I ain't some thoughtless kid."

"You are still a kid. We all are. And we all think we're smarter 'n we are. I think that's what I really learned, y'know? In ten years we're all gonna look back an' think how stupid we were. I already...I'm not much older'n you, an' I'm already thinkin' that. 'I was so stupid. I coulda been smarter. Maybe things woulda been different if I didn't think I was such hot shit.'"

"If I don't do this, in ten years, I might regret it fer the rest'a my life," Jeb said, gravely. "Besides. If it... if I ain't any good at it, or I get in too deep, I can get out. I know I can."

"I hope you're fuckin' right. Don't you dare make me have to explain to mama why I didn't stop you endin' up in a casket."

"I wouldn't dare put that on you," Jeb said. "Bad enough mama had to bury pa. I ain't gonna have her buryin' any'a her kids if I can help it."

Jay nodded. He pushed himself back upright and opened the door. "Best get on outta here, then. I gotta migraine."

"Yeah." Jeb said, as he walked out of the room. He didn't have anything else to say. This entire talk left a bad taste in his mouth, but at least he wouldn't have to deal with going behind his brother's back.

Jay closed the door and flicked off the lights. He was shaking like crazy, and he knew he wouldn't be doing anything more that day except hiding under the covers.