Nick and Lil, Backdated to 2/18
Feb. 18th, 2018 08:30 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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ax_mainThe day after their date at the dance, Lil and Nick relax with each other, and they open up about some things.
When Lil had tried to picture having a big talk with Nick about all the drama she'd been through and, yeah, caused, since she'd come to the school it had seemed a lot harder then it actually turned out to be. She hadn't counted on how lying on his bed with her head on his shoulder would calm her down or how he'd let her ramble on Warren and Nolan without interruption. She wasn't sure she was going to tell him about Simon at the beginning because well, that had turned out to be a misunderstanding in end, but that had come out too. Nick didn't check her when she ranted a bit or tell her what she should have done differently, he just listened, and it made all the difference. This was something she should have done long ago.
"So, since that big talk with Nolan about staying friends, I got sort of obsessed with the idea the he could be spying on me. Sort of stupid, but that's why I'm slow to text you back - I keep my phone off most of the time. That's like, this side of crazy so I decided to go back to the Professor and ask about counselling. Now I'm seeing this big dude who's got superpowers too. Doesn't look like a doctor at all, but he's sort of cool." Very cool really, and he lived in her head as a companion voice to Teddy that she used to try and keep herself out of trouble. It was always WWTD or WWDSD? "He thinks I've got ADHD or something. I'm gonna see Dr. McTaggert soon to see if I can do meds 'cause apparently it screws with you a lot more then people know."
"I'm glad you're getting help," Nick said, taking in a breath after he realized he'd been holding it during her confessions. "And I'm... so, so sorry that Nolan did that to you." Nick wasn't one to inherently dislike anyone, but Nolan had made that list. "What he did was... it was wrong, and I want you to know that I agree with you, that it was wrong," he said, knowing that he needed to do his best about being supportive. He liked being able to put his fingers in her hair, and not having to worry about one of his claws accidentally scratching her. He still kept filing them so they weren't as sharp, but he'd been getting careless here and there. But it didn't matter with Lil, and he was thankful for that.
Lil closed her eyes and sighed. Out of all that long ramble he'd picked out the most important bit and given her the response she needed to hear. "Thanks. Sometimes thoughts creep in like, maybe I did deserve it a bit 'cause I wasn't a very good person in school, so having you say that helps."
"Nobody deserves to be... spied on," Nick said, certain of that. "He had no right to do that." It made him angry, which was... an unusual feeling for him. "But it's good that you've got... distance between you two, now," he allowed. "Maybe he'll learn that, y'know, what he did was wrong. He owes you an apology."
"Yeah, but I don't think I'll get it. He's got his own issues he's not dealing with." She put an arm across his chest an pulled herself in closer. "But he got me in to see Doc Sampson, so at least I got that out of it, right? I probably needed to do that last year, or years ago, but Mom always worried about what I might let slip about being a mutant I think."
"Right," Nick murmured, still happy with having his fingers in her hair, although having her this close was great, too. "And I'm glad you're getting help," Nick said, again. "It's... Doc Sampson's done wonders for me," he said. "Between you and him, I think you've both got me supported really, really well."
Lil nodded, but not too much. She didn't want Nick's hands slipping out of her hair. "Yeah well, you're doing the same for me right now. But if this gets to be a little much, you tell me okay. This is shit I thought you should know since we're dating, but I don't want to pile my crap on you when you're still going through your own stuff."
"It won't," Nick assured her. "Being here for you makes me feel like I'm doing a good job, y'know?" Nick said, smiling.
"I do, but I still think that's all I'll pile on you right now. The rest, stuff that happened before I got here, I'll save for later. Oh shit. Except for one thing 'cause... I don't know if you'd be okay with this." Lil paused for a moment. "I sort of... um, I don't just like guys? I guess I'm bi?"
He blinked a few times, briefly wondering if she was messing with him, but the way she said it made it pretty clear she wasn't. "Huh," he said, processing that. "That's. Huh." Now he was--okay, he wasn't going to imagine Lil kissing other girls, because that was just, no, he didn't need to have that on his mind right now. "That's, why would I not be okay with it?" he asked, finally.
Lil sighed. "I dunno. 'Cause I'm still not sure I am, I guess. Seems like a thing that would make someone think twice about the girlfriend thing - but then, people here are pretty chill about that kind of thing."
"I mean, you still like guys, though, right?" he asked, just making sure he was understanding right. "S-so why would that be an issue?"
"Because... I'm a girl? And I like girls? And some people think that's gross?" That was such an obvious point to Lil. "Like, I'm pretty fucking sure my mom would flip her shit if I told her."
"Well, she shouldn't," Nick said, simply. "And, I mean, y'know." Nick was almost saying a bit too much. "It's, y'know. It's, what, 2018? Shouldn't we all be pretty much okay with that?"
Lil frowned, but he was right, wasn't he? It was a bit silly to be lying here, insisting he should have a problem with it. "Yeah, I suppose. Alright, I think that's the last of my confessions. For real this time."
He couldn't help but grin a little to himself at the thought of Lil kissing another girl, but he probably shouldn't tell her that, now, should he? He didn't want to embarrass her, after all. "So, um. My, uh... my parents' lawyer got in touch with me," he said, quietly.
"Oh." Lil had no idea how to respond to that. It had to hurt, to have them talk to him and remind him that his parents were dead. "You okay?"
"Y-yeah, um. They, uh. They don't need me, as a witness," he said, quietly. "The physical evidence, um, will be enough to convict all of them." He realized something. "He-he knew, by the way. That I was a mutant. He was one of the few people outside my family who did," he pointed out. "But, uh. I have... um... well, my parents left me everything," he said. "It's... it's a lot. I mean, it's in a trust, but it's set up so that I have, like, an allowance from it," he said.
Not a trade Lil would ever make, money for her mom, but at least it was something. "That's good, sort of. I mean, at least you don't have to worry about money."
"Yeah," Nick said, nodding. "It's... y'know. I'm ... I wish it hadn't, but, at the same time, it's... I'm glad they had that established for me."
"They were making sure they could look after you even when they weren't around. That's pretty amazing."
"Yeah..." Nick sighed. "I also, y'know. Kind of have like, resolutions," he said, feeling like the conversation could shift gears.
Resolutions sounded like lighter territory than his parents, and Lil was glad for the switch. She'd always be here if he needed to talk about them, but it was nice to have this time to themselves without memories intruding. "Oh, you gotta tell me about those. Big ones?"
"I wanna start going to the gym," Nick said. "Doc Sampson says that exercise might help me, y'know, with... being sad. And I wanna, y'know. I wanna get stronger."
"That's a good idea! I was sort of thinking of doing the same thing." Lil lifted her free arm and flexed it. "Get me some guns to go with my punches. If you want any help or just a gym buddy, I'm there."
"I was going to ask for your help, yeah," Nick said, smiling. "I wanna... I wanna join X-Force, someday," he added, more quietly.
"Oh." That was big admission. Maybe not surprising considering what he'd just been through, but still, Lil hadn't even suspected that might be the case."I guess, if you want to. I was sort of thinking about it myself, but... probably not. Still, I'll help you if you wanna do that."
"I don't think I can do it without your help," Nick said, honestly. "It's part of the gym thing. The exercise stuff. I need... I need to practice, y'know? I need to be stronger, so I can help, and... you're the only person I can think of who I could spar with and not hurt if I was using my claws. I mean, I'm in hand-to-hand, but that's... more self-defense, y'know?" It made him uneasy, thinking about hurting someone. But some people needed to be hurt so that others didn't get hurt.
"Yeah, I get it. Me and Laura are actually doing something like that already. She might be another person to ask actually. She's not too far from being invulnerable herself, and she actually knows how to fight." Not that Lil wasn't learning, but if Nick wanted to really know how to take someone down, especially with claws, Laura was perfect for him.
"Huh," Nick said, not even knowing who Laura was. He'd maybe seen her around? "Maybe. You'll have to introduce me, maybe," Nick said, a little hesitant.
"Sure. She's a tiny little thing, but she's got claws too - blades that pop out of her hands and feet - and she really knows how to take people down."
That sounded both strange and painful, but Nick wasn't going to ask questions about it. "Yeah... anyway," Nick said, wondering if he should shift the conversation again. "This is... this is nice. Us just being here. Talking," he said, realizing just how good it felt.
Lil snickered. "That was a quick change of topics. I promise, Laura sounds a little weird, but she's really cool. If I had a sister, I'd want her to be like Laura. Anyway!" She patted his chest. "Yes, this is nice. This is sort of my favourite thing I think."
"Mine too," Nick said, glad she hadn't dwelt on his awkwardness regarding talking about Laura. "I'm glad you like it."
"I do. I mean, we spent a lot of time together talking before, but this is different. I get to tell you about me, I get to cuddle up to you..." She sighed. "we can just relax together."
"And there's the kissing thing," Nick added, grinning a little. "I like that part a lot, too."
"Well, we sort of need some practice with that." Lil stood her fingers up on Nick's chest and walked them over to his chin before giving it an affectionate tap. "You're built a little different then the average guy, and my experience is sort of limited so... lots of practice."
"I know," Nick said, a bit sadly. "But practicing should be fun," he said, grinning just a bit wider.
Lil grabbed the opposite shoulder of his shirt and tugged to encourage him to roll over and face her. "Okay then, practice. But, um, just kissing, okay? We're going slow, I need to go slow, so maybe you can keep your hands on my hip or face or something, but no wandering, right?" Her face was getting hot, but that was fair to ask. If she thought about going much further with a guy right now, she started to get angry, and there was no way she wanted to dump that on Nick.
"O-okay," Nick said, suddenly just a bit nervous, facing her and with that on his mind. No roaming hands. That was probably easy enough; he'd never... taken that kind of liberty with anyone, ever, and even during their dance he'd kept his hands in very respectful places. "J-just kissing is fine," he added.
"Thank you." Lil gave him a light kiss. "I just want things to be clear, right? It's not that I think you'd push me or... or heck, I'd push you."
"Yeah, I appreciate that," he said, quietly, smiling at her.
She put a hand on his cheek and kissed him again. "You say stuff like that, and it makes me so glad that you asked to be my boyfriend."
"I do my best," he replied, before kissing her back. He was always just a bit ginger with it when he initiated with it. He wasn't sure why. Maybe his own lack of experienec?
Lil held him close, making the kiss last a little longer. She wasn't sure their kissing could go to much farther than this, if only because of physical differences, but this was nice enough. If they stuck with each other, they'd find other ways to be close and all those little contrasts between the two of them would get figured out.
"Never thought I'd be making out with a girl someday," Nick said wistfully, once the kiss ended.
"Pfft." Lil tapped his nose with a finger. "Give girls some credit - we know a good catch when we see one."
He chuckled and grinned. "I guess I'll have to take your word for it.
"Damn straight. I know all. Now get back to the making out bit." Lil grinned. " 'cause that wasn't even close to enough practice."
When Lil had tried to picture having a big talk with Nick about all the drama she'd been through and, yeah, caused, since she'd come to the school it had seemed a lot harder then it actually turned out to be. She hadn't counted on how lying on his bed with her head on his shoulder would calm her down or how he'd let her ramble on Warren and Nolan without interruption. She wasn't sure she was going to tell him about Simon at the beginning because well, that had turned out to be a misunderstanding in end, but that had come out too. Nick didn't check her when she ranted a bit or tell her what she should have done differently, he just listened, and it made all the difference. This was something she should have done long ago.
"So, since that big talk with Nolan about staying friends, I got sort of obsessed with the idea the he could be spying on me. Sort of stupid, but that's why I'm slow to text you back - I keep my phone off most of the time. That's like, this side of crazy so I decided to go back to the Professor and ask about counselling. Now I'm seeing this big dude who's got superpowers too. Doesn't look like a doctor at all, but he's sort of cool." Very cool really, and he lived in her head as a companion voice to Teddy that she used to try and keep herself out of trouble. It was always WWTD or WWDSD? "He thinks I've got ADHD or something. I'm gonna see Dr. McTaggert soon to see if I can do meds 'cause apparently it screws with you a lot more then people know."
"I'm glad you're getting help," Nick said, taking in a breath after he realized he'd been holding it during her confessions. "And I'm... so, so sorry that Nolan did that to you." Nick wasn't one to inherently dislike anyone, but Nolan had made that list. "What he did was... it was wrong, and I want you to know that I agree with you, that it was wrong," he said, knowing that he needed to do his best about being supportive. He liked being able to put his fingers in her hair, and not having to worry about one of his claws accidentally scratching her. He still kept filing them so they weren't as sharp, but he'd been getting careless here and there. But it didn't matter with Lil, and he was thankful for that.
Lil closed her eyes and sighed. Out of all that long ramble he'd picked out the most important bit and given her the response she needed to hear. "Thanks. Sometimes thoughts creep in like, maybe I did deserve it a bit 'cause I wasn't a very good person in school, so having you say that helps."
"Nobody deserves to be... spied on," Nick said, certain of that. "He had no right to do that." It made him angry, which was... an unusual feeling for him. "But it's good that you've got... distance between you two, now," he allowed. "Maybe he'll learn that, y'know, what he did was wrong. He owes you an apology."
"Yeah, but I don't think I'll get it. He's got his own issues he's not dealing with." She put an arm across his chest an pulled herself in closer. "But he got me in to see Doc Sampson, so at least I got that out of it, right? I probably needed to do that last year, or years ago, but Mom always worried about what I might let slip about being a mutant I think."
"Right," Nick murmured, still happy with having his fingers in her hair, although having her this close was great, too. "And I'm glad you're getting help," Nick said, again. "It's... Doc Sampson's done wonders for me," he said. "Between you and him, I think you've both got me supported really, really well."
Lil nodded, but not too much. She didn't want Nick's hands slipping out of her hair. "Yeah well, you're doing the same for me right now. But if this gets to be a little much, you tell me okay. This is shit I thought you should know since we're dating, but I don't want to pile my crap on you when you're still going through your own stuff."
"It won't," Nick assured her. "Being here for you makes me feel like I'm doing a good job, y'know?" Nick said, smiling.
"I do, but I still think that's all I'll pile on you right now. The rest, stuff that happened before I got here, I'll save for later. Oh shit. Except for one thing 'cause... I don't know if you'd be okay with this." Lil paused for a moment. "I sort of... um, I don't just like guys? I guess I'm bi?"
He blinked a few times, briefly wondering if she was messing with him, but the way she said it made it pretty clear she wasn't. "Huh," he said, processing that. "That's. Huh." Now he was--okay, he wasn't going to imagine Lil kissing other girls, because that was just, no, he didn't need to have that on his mind right now. "That's, why would I not be okay with it?" he asked, finally.
Lil sighed. "I dunno. 'Cause I'm still not sure I am, I guess. Seems like a thing that would make someone think twice about the girlfriend thing - but then, people here are pretty chill about that kind of thing."
"I mean, you still like guys, though, right?" he asked, just making sure he was understanding right. "S-so why would that be an issue?"
"Because... I'm a girl? And I like girls? And some people think that's gross?" That was such an obvious point to Lil. "Like, I'm pretty fucking sure my mom would flip her shit if I told her."
"Well, she shouldn't," Nick said, simply. "And, I mean, y'know." Nick was almost saying a bit too much. "It's, y'know. It's, what, 2018? Shouldn't we all be pretty much okay with that?"
Lil frowned, but he was right, wasn't he? It was a bit silly to be lying here, insisting he should have a problem with it. "Yeah, I suppose. Alright, I think that's the last of my confessions. For real this time."
He couldn't help but grin a little to himself at the thought of Lil kissing another girl, but he probably shouldn't tell her that, now, should he? He didn't want to embarrass her, after all. "So, um. My, uh... my parents' lawyer got in touch with me," he said, quietly.
"Oh." Lil had no idea how to respond to that. It had to hurt, to have them talk to him and remind him that his parents were dead. "You okay?"
"Y-yeah, um. They, uh. They don't need me, as a witness," he said, quietly. "The physical evidence, um, will be enough to convict all of them." He realized something. "He-he knew, by the way. That I was a mutant. He was one of the few people outside my family who did," he pointed out. "But, uh. I have... um... well, my parents left me everything," he said. "It's... it's a lot. I mean, it's in a trust, but it's set up so that I have, like, an allowance from it," he said.
Not a trade Lil would ever make, money for her mom, but at least it was something. "That's good, sort of. I mean, at least you don't have to worry about money."
"Yeah," Nick said, nodding. "It's... y'know. I'm ... I wish it hadn't, but, at the same time, it's... I'm glad they had that established for me."
"They were making sure they could look after you even when they weren't around. That's pretty amazing."
"Yeah..." Nick sighed. "I also, y'know. Kind of have like, resolutions," he said, feeling like the conversation could shift gears.
Resolutions sounded like lighter territory than his parents, and Lil was glad for the switch. She'd always be here if he needed to talk about them, but it was nice to have this time to themselves without memories intruding. "Oh, you gotta tell me about those. Big ones?"
"I wanna start going to the gym," Nick said. "Doc Sampson says that exercise might help me, y'know, with... being sad. And I wanna, y'know. I wanna get stronger."
"That's a good idea! I was sort of thinking of doing the same thing." Lil lifted her free arm and flexed it. "Get me some guns to go with my punches. If you want any help or just a gym buddy, I'm there."
"I was going to ask for your help, yeah," Nick said, smiling. "I wanna... I wanna join X-Force, someday," he added, more quietly.
"Oh." That was big admission. Maybe not surprising considering what he'd just been through, but still, Lil hadn't even suspected that might be the case."I guess, if you want to. I was sort of thinking about it myself, but... probably not. Still, I'll help you if you wanna do that."
"I don't think I can do it without your help," Nick said, honestly. "It's part of the gym thing. The exercise stuff. I need... I need to practice, y'know? I need to be stronger, so I can help, and... you're the only person I can think of who I could spar with and not hurt if I was using my claws. I mean, I'm in hand-to-hand, but that's... more self-defense, y'know?" It made him uneasy, thinking about hurting someone. But some people needed to be hurt so that others didn't get hurt.
"Yeah, I get it. Me and Laura are actually doing something like that already. She might be another person to ask actually. She's not too far from being invulnerable herself, and she actually knows how to fight." Not that Lil wasn't learning, but if Nick wanted to really know how to take someone down, especially with claws, Laura was perfect for him.
"Huh," Nick said, not even knowing who Laura was. He'd maybe seen her around? "Maybe. You'll have to introduce me, maybe," Nick said, a little hesitant.
"Sure. She's a tiny little thing, but she's got claws too - blades that pop out of her hands and feet - and she really knows how to take people down."
That sounded both strange and painful, but Nick wasn't going to ask questions about it. "Yeah... anyway," Nick said, wondering if he should shift the conversation again. "This is... this is nice. Us just being here. Talking," he said, realizing just how good it felt.
Lil snickered. "That was a quick change of topics. I promise, Laura sounds a little weird, but she's really cool. If I had a sister, I'd want her to be like Laura. Anyway!" She patted his chest. "Yes, this is nice. This is sort of my favourite thing I think."
"Mine too," Nick said, glad she hadn't dwelt on his awkwardness regarding talking about Laura. "I'm glad you like it."
"I do. I mean, we spent a lot of time together talking before, but this is different. I get to tell you about me, I get to cuddle up to you..." She sighed. "we can just relax together."
"And there's the kissing thing," Nick added, grinning a little. "I like that part a lot, too."
"Well, we sort of need some practice with that." Lil stood her fingers up on Nick's chest and walked them over to his chin before giving it an affectionate tap. "You're built a little different then the average guy, and my experience is sort of limited so... lots of practice."
"I know," Nick said, a bit sadly. "But practicing should be fun," he said, grinning just a bit wider.
Lil grabbed the opposite shoulder of his shirt and tugged to encourage him to roll over and face her. "Okay then, practice. But, um, just kissing, okay? We're going slow, I need to go slow, so maybe you can keep your hands on my hip or face or something, but no wandering, right?" Her face was getting hot, but that was fair to ask. If she thought about going much further with a guy right now, she started to get angry, and there was no way she wanted to dump that on Nick.
"O-okay," Nick said, suddenly just a bit nervous, facing her and with that on his mind. No roaming hands. That was probably easy enough; he'd never... taken that kind of liberty with anyone, ever, and even during their dance he'd kept his hands in very respectful places. "J-just kissing is fine," he added.
"Thank you." Lil gave him a light kiss. "I just want things to be clear, right? It's not that I think you'd push me or... or heck, I'd push you."
"Yeah, I appreciate that," he said, quietly, smiling at her.
She put a hand on his cheek and kissed him again. "You say stuff like that, and it makes me so glad that you asked to be my boyfriend."
"I do my best," he replied, before kissing her back. He was always just a bit ginger with it when he initiated with it. He wasn't sure why. Maybe his own lack of experienec?
Lil held him close, making the kiss last a little longer. She wasn't sure their kissing could go to much farther than this, if only because of physical differences, but this was nice enough. If they stuck with each other, they'd find other ways to be close and all those little contrasts between the two of them would get figured out.
"Never thought I'd be making out with a girl someday," Nick said wistfully, once the kiss ended.
"Pfft." Lil tapped his nose with a finger. "Give girls some credit - we know a good catch when we see one."
He chuckled and grinned. "I guess I'll have to take your word for it.
"Damn straight. I know all. Now get back to the making out bit." Lil grinned. " 'cause that wasn't even close to enough practice."
