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ax_main2018-01-23 04:34 pm
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Teddy and Shen | Backdated to Gar's party
Teddy's been trying to take care of everyone, he's tired, and it shows. So Shen takes care of him.
Teddy had done his duty, come in and sincerely wished Gar all the best, even dropped off a plate of cupcakes as a gift and addition to the food table. Illyana had left the room as he'd come in, and even though he hadn't wanted to fight with her, even though Billy was gone, her silent indictment still stung. Fine, it was fine. He'd finish his cake and slip out, go text Billy and try and do homework or something. He stayed out of the way of the crowd, out of Gar's line of sight. There was no reason he should have to know that Teddy was feeling out of sorts.
It would have been hard not to notice that Teddy hadn't been doing so good lately; this was just one more occurrence. But it was the one that made Shen walk over to him and give him a small smile. "You wanna talk about it? Or just a hug? Or for me to shove off? I'm easy, just let me know."
Teddy smiled at that. "I'm always up for hugs. You may regret offering."
"Oh yeah," Shen nodded knowingly. "Because I hate being there for you." She held her arms out, wings bristling but not moving, and made c'mere signs with her hands.
He didn't have to stop and think about it, the promise of genuine friendship and human contact way too much to turn down. Teddy stepped into the hug, wrapping his arms around her -- while being careful of her wings. He held it together for a moment, but the weight of everything wanted to crash in on him. He dropped his head to rest it against her shoulder.
For a moment Shen just held him, shifting her hands when he sagged a little against her, so one of them would cradle the back of his head gently. "Hey," she told him softly, resisting the urge to cocoon them behind her wings - it might draw attention to them, and Teddy didn't need that. "I've got you."
That was all it took to bring him back into himself, to remember where they were and that Shen had only offered a hug, not to be the victim of a boa constrictor. Teddy let out a breath and straightened up, releasing her as he did. "Sorry," he said, and grimaced. "I appreciate it, though."
Shen frowned gently, and reached over to stroke a hand down his arm, take his hand if he let her. "Hey, no. No reason for you to apologize." She glanced back at Gar, but he was busy talking to Terry; he'd be all right if she left - she'd be back, anyway. "Come on, let's sneak out for a bit and I can give you a real hug?" Real hugs lasted longer, and did not end on somebody pulling back and apologizing.
"Don't leave because of me," Teddy objected, following her gaze. "I don't want to pull you away from the party. I was just about to head back to my room anyway."
Shen hesitated, and then told him, "It's up to you. Either now, or I stop by your room when I leave. Whatever you'd prefer."
Teddy had no reason to believe she didn't mean it. He'd hoped to talk to Billy later, and being interrupted wouldn't end up working out for anyone. So he nodded. "Now's okay, as long as you're sure. I'm probably going to crash early," he made the excuse.
"I'm sure," Shen told him gently, gave him a soft smile, then led the way out of the room. There wasn't much 'sneaking' going on when you had her wings, but the point was, she'd be back soon. As they hit the hallway, stepping away from the common room, she stretched her wing out towards him by her side. "You wanna tell me about it, or just take that real hug?"
Leaving the rec room actually made more of a difference than Teddy'd expected, no more eyes on him meant he could relax, let the half-attentive half-smile fade away. He scrubbed at his face with the heels of his hands, tried to rub away the tired that had been dogging him. "First one, then the other?"
"You can even get more than one hug if you like," Shen stated with a small, comforting smile, pushing open the door to the nearest classroom and walking in and turning the light on when it turned out to be predictably empty.
Teddy followed along, though it looked like Shen was settling in for a long conversation rather than a 'hey how are you' quick update. He perched on one of the desks, leaning against the edge more than sitting on it fully. "I appreciate it, though honestly Billy's the one who needs the support," he said, the guilt starting to settle back in. Why was he the one getting hugs when Billy was the one who was hurting? Teddy hadn't been to Limbo, he hadn't been possessed or attacked or anything of the sort. He'd been hanging out and playing video games while Billy and the others had been in trouble.
Shen took his leaning against the desk to mean that hugs could wait, and she fully sat on the desk across from him, so her wings could drop off of the back of it unimpeded. "After Limbo?" Shen guessed.
Teddy nodded. "Whatever happened there, it really hit him hard. He hasn't been himself since." There was some hope now that he was home, though. Mrs. Kaplan was a psychologist, and she and the Professor had found Billy a counsellor - Billy didn't say anything about what they'd talked about, but even knowing that he was getting help (real help, from people who knew what they were doing) was a help. "I worry, that's all."
"Of course you do," Shen nodded. "But while you do that, you get to have people who worry about you, you know?"
"I appreciate that, really. The situation's just so... not normal. You know? It's not like there's standard advice you can give someone to help them through the aftereffects of being possessed in a demon dimension." He gestured in the air, some of his frustration spilling out. "Or, I guess, to help someone through helping someone who's been through that. Advice columns haven't exactly caught up to our brand of weird," he added ruefully.
"New brand of weird, new brand of trauma," Shen acknowledged out loud. "Maybe... therapists specialized in PTSD? I'm talking out of my ass, here, I have no clue." She was talking about helping Billy for now, but she'd get to Teddy in a minute. The two were linked, after all.
He gave her a faint smile, nodding. "Yeah. His mom's a psychologist. Between her contacts and the Professor, they've got that part covered." The details - even the few he knew - were too private to share, but hopefully that was enough.
"Good," Shen nodded. She hadn't known that about Billy's mom, but between that and the Prof's support, it ought to be enough. They could find someone for him. "As for supporting someone who's supporting someone who's going through that..." She moved off the table to come to stand beside him, and slide her small hand in his. "Isn't it the same as supporting anyone who's supporting someone through a tough time?"
Teddy curled his hand around hers, her fingers all but vanishing inside his. When he tried to parse out her comment, though, he only let out a chuckle and shook his head. "I think I got lost in there somewhere around the third 'supporting,' but I get what you mean. And I guess? I just hate feeling so helpless."
"I hear you," Shen told him, squeezing his hand. "But you're not. You've been helping him. There's so many options between being helpless and magically fixing things, you know?"
"That would be a neat mutant power though," Teddy said wistfully. "Alakazam, poof, no more trauma. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."
"Yeah, that sounds like a recipe for so much bullshit," Shen stated honestly. "I wouldn't want that done to me, anyway."
He sighed, acknowledging that she was right. "I know. Reality's a lot more complicated than easy fixes. When did life start getting complicated? I remember when my biggest worries were about not finding the right card to finish a Pokemon deck."
"I remember when my wildest dream was marrying Thor of Asgard," Shen shot back without missing a beat. Revealing embarrassing facts about herself to hopefully make him laugh? Check.
That caught him off-guard, especially the mental image of Shen as a little girl - was she half as intense then as she was now? And he laughed, nodding. "Princess Shen of Asgard? Sure, I can see it."
She laughed with him at the title. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Don't tell Loki, I'd never hear the end of it."
"Promise." The moment seemed to fade away after that, and Teddy couldn't find a good joke to keep it going. Was it possible that Billy's exhaustion had been contagious? Or maybe it was the time he was spending with Nick, on top of everything else he was trying to catch up on. "To tell you the truth, there is something you could do. Maybe two."
"Tell me," Shen said without an instant's hesitation.
"Do you know Nick?" Teddy tried to think if he'd ever seen them hanging out, but asking was easier than relying on his memory right now. "He's got the whole... Wolf thing going on," he added, just in case. "His parents were killed, the day after Christmas. An anti-mutant mob firebombed the house."
Speaking of putting things in perspective. Teddy was complaining about being tired, but Nick also had it so much worse. "Lil and I have been trading off shifts, staying with him. At least I was until Billy needed me. Now it's mostly Lil," Teddy confessed, looking away. "Though now that Billy's home I can be more help there. But she's exhausted too. And - I don't know.
"If you don't normally hang out with him maybe it would be weird. But you're really good at making people feel better, and maybe it would help him to have someone else check in on him once or twice." He ran out of steam, his guilt taking over again. He should have gone to Nick's room instead of the party. But then Gar would think that Teddy didn't care, and that wasn't true either.
"I've been by once already," Shen said, frowning. She shook her head. "But just once. I suck. I definitely will stop by more."
"You don't suck," Teddy insisted. "Everyone's got their own lives going on, and stuff they need to do."
"Someone I know's lost both of his parents, and I've been to see him once. Oh, and that's contributed to another friend of mind risking to burn out taking care of people." She knocked her wing gently against his shoulder. "I totally suck on this one. It's okay. I'll do better."
"I'm sure he'll appreciate it." He rocked his shoulder forward to bump the edge of her wing in silent gratitude. "And so do I."
Shen squeezed his hand again, then reminded him, "You said maybe two."
"Uh, yeah." Teddy scruffed his hand over the short hair on the back of his neck and looked sheepish. "Could I look at your notes for Ethics? Mine haven't been all that good lately. I keep zoning out."
Shen huffed out a laugh. "Absolutely. If you can make sense of my notes, you're welcome to them."
He flashed her a grin - at least one of his problems had an easy answer. "Thanks a lot. For everything."
"This is when I offer the hug again, I think," Shen told him, shifting to stand in front of him again.
"I'll take it."
Shen smiled at him and stepped closer, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close. She gave into the urge to wrap her wings around them, too, creating their own little bubble of comfort and safety, rest of the world be damned. That was how she thought of it, anyway.
He let her fold him into the hug -- wondered, for a moment, if this was sort of what it felt like for Billy when Teddy had his wings out -- and after a moment just gave up thinking. Having Shen's support didn't fix anything, it couldn't, but it was a warm reminder that he wasn't alone. He straightened up after a minute, reluctantly letting go. "For the record, any time you feel like doing that again, go right ahead. Blanket hug consent," he added, a smile curling up one side of his mouth.
Shen stroked her hands over his shoulders, and squeezed them. "I might actually go with that, because it's you. But only if I can trust you to let me know if you ever don't want a hug. For whatever reason. No need to justify yourself."
"Maybe not when I'm precariously balancing a bowl of hot soup or something," Teddy conceded with a grin, "but yeah. Promise."
"I solemnly swear not to hug you when it might lead to some bodily damage," Shen assured him, tucking her wings back behind her back.
He was going to make a joke about his toughness, but Shen was strong and was maybe one of the few people on campus who could actually do some damage. He'd never actually asked what her upper limit was like. "Then we're good." He glanced at the clock on the wall, then back. "I should let you get back to the party. I was going to try and catch Billy on Skype before bed."
"Send him my love?" Shen requested hopefully. "I know it won't do much, but. Just let him know I'm sending thoughts his way, okay?"
Teddy nodded. "I will. And it will do something -- it always helps to know people are thinking of you."
"It does," Shen agreed with a small smile, and then stepped back. "Okay, go, before I hug you again. I have a blanket permission, you know."
"Very true." Teddy smiled at her, and it took less effort this time than when she'd first approached him. "Have a good rest of the evening, k?"
"You too, all right? Text me if you want someone to cuddle with," Shen told him with a smile.
Teddy laughed, but he nodded. "At least that's an offer that won't make Billy worry," he joked. Though of the two of them, Teddy was probably more possessive. Not jealous, per se, just... happiest when he was sure that Billy was glad to be his. "We'll be back to movie nights in no time, I'm sure of it."
"DS9 nights, I hope you mean," Shen told him with a grin. "I'm still rooting for Kira and Jadzia."
"It's a better option than most of the ships on that show," he grinned instead of daring to dip into the world of spoilers, and moved toward the door.
"Well, I could get behind Julian and Garak if it makes Julian stop being a sexist douchebag," Shen thought out loud, as she followed him into the hallway. "I won't be holding my breath, though. Their whole thing screams homoerotic teasing." But she wasn't all that invested in the talk of ships right then. She stroked a hand down his arm. "Text me if you need me? Or want me?"
She could use those words and not worry about how they'd be taken, which was pretty awesome.
Teddy wasn't so far gone that he couldn't remember why he'd been so intimidated by Shen back in the summer, but that seemed so long ago and far away now. "I will, I promise. And if I end up trying to bake my problems away again, the first batch of cookies is yours."
"I'm better at cooking than baking, but if you want an assistant for your vegan batches, you know where to find me," Shen offered with a smile.
"Will do," he promised, and before he turned and left, he reached for her hand and gave it one last squeeze.
Teddy had done his duty, come in and sincerely wished Gar all the best, even dropped off a plate of cupcakes as a gift and addition to the food table. Illyana had left the room as he'd come in, and even though he hadn't wanted to fight with her, even though Billy was gone, her silent indictment still stung. Fine, it was fine. He'd finish his cake and slip out, go text Billy and try and do homework or something. He stayed out of the way of the crowd, out of Gar's line of sight. There was no reason he should have to know that Teddy was feeling out of sorts.
It would have been hard not to notice that Teddy hadn't been doing so good lately; this was just one more occurrence. But it was the one that made Shen walk over to him and give him a small smile. "You wanna talk about it? Or just a hug? Or for me to shove off? I'm easy, just let me know."
Teddy smiled at that. "I'm always up for hugs. You may regret offering."
"Oh yeah," Shen nodded knowingly. "Because I hate being there for you." She held her arms out, wings bristling but not moving, and made c'mere signs with her hands.
He didn't have to stop and think about it, the promise of genuine friendship and human contact way too much to turn down. Teddy stepped into the hug, wrapping his arms around her -- while being careful of her wings. He held it together for a moment, but the weight of everything wanted to crash in on him. He dropped his head to rest it against her shoulder.
For a moment Shen just held him, shifting her hands when he sagged a little against her, so one of them would cradle the back of his head gently. "Hey," she told him softly, resisting the urge to cocoon them behind her wings - it might draw attention to them, and Teddy didn't need that. "I've got you."
That was all it took to bring him back into himself, to remember where they were and that Shen had only offered a hug, not to be the victim of a boa constrictor. Teddy let out a breath and straightened up, releasing her as he did. "Sorry," he said, and grimaced. "I appreciate it, though."
Shen frowned gently, and reached over to stroke a hand down his arm, take his hand if he let her. "Hey, no. No reason for you to apologize." She glanced back at Gar, but he was busy talking to Terry; he'd be all right if she left - she'd be back, anyway. "Come on, let's sneak out for a bit and I can give you a real hug?" Real hugs lasted longer, and did not end on somebody pulling back and apologizing.
"Don't leave because of me," Teddy objected, following her gaze. "I don't want to pull you away from the party. I was just about to head back to my room anyway."
Shen hesitated, and then told him, "It's up to you. Either now, or I stop by your room when I leave. Whatever you'd prefer."
Teddy had no reason to believe she didn't mean it. He'd hoped to talk to Billy later, and being interrupted wouldn't end up working out for anyone. So he nodded. "Now's okay, as long as you're sure. I'm probably going to crash early," he made the excuse.
"I'm sure," Shen told him gently, gave him a soft smile, then led the way out of the room. There wasn't much 'sneaking' going on when you had her wings, but the point was, she'd be back soon. As they hit the hallway, stepping away from the common room, she stretched her wing out towards him by her side. "You wanna tell me about it, or just take that real hug?"
Leaving the rec room actually made more of a difference than Teddy'd expected, no more eyes on him meant he could relax, let the half-attentive half-smile fade away. He scrubbed at his face with the heels of his hands, tried to rub away the tired that had been dogging him. "First one, then the other?"
"You can even get more than one hug if you like," Shen stated with a small, comforting smile, pushing open the door to the nearest classroom and walking in and turning the light on when it turned out to be predictably empty.
Teddy followed along, though it looked like Shen was settling in for a long conversation rather than a 'hey how are you' quick update. He perched on one of the desks, leaning against the edge more than sitting on it fully. "I appreciate it, though honestly Billy's the one who needs the support," he said, the guilt starting to settle back in. Why was he the one getting hugs when Billy was the one who was hurting? Teddy hadn't been to Limbo, he hadn't been possessed or attacked or anything of the sort. He'd been hanging out and playing video games while Billy and the others had been in trouble.
Shen took his leaning against the desk to mean that hugs could wait, and she fully sat on the desk across from him, so her wings could drop off of the back of it unimpeded. "After Limbo?" Shen guessed.
Teddy nodded. "Whatever happened there, it really hit him hard. He hasn't been himself since." There was some hope now that he was home, though. Mrs. Kaplan was a psychologist, and she and the Professor had found Billy a counsellor - Billy didn't say anything about what they'd talked about, but even knowing that he was getting help (real help, from people who knew what they were doing) was a help. "I worry, that's all."
"Of course you do," Shen nodded. "But while you do that, you get to have people who worry about you, you know?"
"I appreciate that, really. The situation's just so... not normal. You know? It's not like there's standard advice you can give someone to help them through the aftereffects of being possessed in a demon dimension." He gestured in the air, some of his frustration spilling out. "Or, I guess, to help someone through helping someone who's been through that. Advice columns haven't exactly caught up to our brand of weird," he added ruefully.
"New brand of weird, new brand of trauma," Shen acknowledged out loud. "Maybe... therapists specialized in PTSD? I'm talking out of my ass, here, I have no clue." She was talking about helping Billy for now, but she'd get to Teddy in a minute. The two were linked, after all.
He gave her a faint smile, nodding. "Yeah. His mom's a psychologist. Between her contacts and the Professor, they've got that part covered." The details - even the few he knew - were too private to share, but hopefully that was enough.
"Good," Shen nodded. She hadn't known that about Billy's mom, but between that and the Prof's support, it ought to be enough. They could find someone for him. "As for supporting someone who's supporting someone who's going through that..." She moved off the table to come to stand beside him, and slide her small hand in his. "Isn't it the same as supporting anyone who's supporting someone through a tough time?"
Teddy curled his hand around hers, her fingers all but vanishing inside his. When he tried to parse out her comment, though, he only let out a chuckle and shook his head. "I think I got lost in there somewhere around the third 'supporting,' but I get what you mean. And I guess? I just hate feeling so helpless."
"I hear you," Shen told him, squeezing his hand. "But you're not. You've been helping him. There's so many options between being helpless and magically fixing things, you know?"
"That would be a neat mutant power though," Teddy said wistfully. "Alakazam, poof, no more trauma. Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind."
"Yeah, that sounds like a recipe for so much bullshit," Shen stated honestly. "I wouldn't want that done to me, anyway."
He sighed, acknowledging that she was right. "I know. Reality's a lot more complicated than easy fixes. When did life start getting complicated? I remember when my biggest worries were about not finding the right card to finish a Pokemon deck."
"I remember when my wildest dream was marrying Thor of Asgard," Shen shot back without missing a beat. Revealing embarrassing facts about herself to hopefully make him laugh? Check.
That caught him off-guard, especially the mental image of Shen as a little girl - was she half as intense then as she was now? And he laughed, nodding. "Princess Shen of Asgard? Sure, I can see it."
She laughed with him at the title. "Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Don't tell Loki, I'd never hear the end of it."
"Promise." The moment seemed to fade away after that, and Teddy couldn't find a good joke to keep it going. Was it possible that Billy's exhaustion had been contagious? Or maybe it was the time he was spending with Nick, on top of everything else he was trying to catch up on. "To tell you the truth, there is something you could do. Maybe two."
"Tell me," Shen said without an instant's hesitation.
"Do you know Nick?" Teddy tried to think if he'd ever seen them hanging out, but asking was easier than relying on his memory right now. "He's got the whole... Wolf thing going on," he added, just in case. "His parents were killed, the day after Christmas. An anti-mutant mob firebombed the house."
Speaking of putting things in perspective. Teddy was complaining about being tired, but Nick also had it so much worse. "Lil and I have been trading off shifts, staying with him. At least I was until Billy needed me. Now it's mostly Lil," Teddy confessed, looking away. "Though now that Billy's home I can be more help there. But she's exhausted too. And - I don't know.
"If you don't normally hang out with him maybe it would be weird. But you're really good at making people feel better, and maybe it would help him to have someone else check in on him once or twice." He ran out of steam, his guilt taking over again. He should have gone to Nick's room instead of the party. But then Gar would think that Teddy didn't care, and that wasn't true either.
"I've been by once already," Shen said, frowning. She shook her head. "But just once. I suck. I definitely will stop by more."
"You don't suck," Teddy insisted. "Everyone's got their own lives going on, and stuff they need to do."
"Someone I know's lost both of his parents, and I've been to see him once. Oh, and that's contributed to another friend of mind risking to burn out taking care of people." She knocked her wing gently against his shoulder. "I totally suck on this one. It's okay. I'll do better."
"I'm sure he'll appreciate it." He rocked his shoulder forward to bump the edge of her wing in silent gratitude. "And so do I."
Shen squeezed his hand again, then reminded him, "You said maybe two."
"Uh, yeah." Teddy scruffed his hand over the short hair on the back of his neck and looked sheepish. "Could I look at your notes for Ethics? Mine haven't been all that good lately. I keep zoning out."
Shen huffed out a laugh. "Absolutely. If you can make sense of my notes, you're welcome to them."
He flashed her a grin - at least one of his problems had an easy answer. "Thanks a lot. For everything."
"This is when I offer the hug again, I think," Shen told him, shifting to stand in front of him again.
"I'll take it."
Shen smiled at him and stepped closer, wrapping her arms around him and holding him close. She gave into the urge to wrap her wings around them, too, creating their own little bubble of comfort and safety, rest of the world be damned. That was how she thought of it, anyway.
He let her fold him into the hug -- wondered, for a moment, if this was sort of what it felt like for Billy when Teddy had his wings out -- and after a moment just gave up thinking. Having Shen's support didn't fix anything, it couldn't, but it was a warm reminder that he wasn't alone. He straightened up after a minute, reluctantly letting go. "For the record, any time you feel like doing that again, go right ahead. Blanket hug consent," he added, a smile curling up one side of his mouth.
Shen stroked her hands over his shoulders, and squeezed them. "I might actually go with that, because it's you. But only if I can trust you to let me know if you ever don't want a hug. For whatever reason. No need to justify yourself."
"Maybe not when I'm precariously balancing a bowl of hot soup or something," Teddy conceded with a grin, "but yeah. Promise."
"I solemnly swear not to hug you when it might lead to some bodily damage," Shen assured him, tucking her wings back behind her back.
He was going to make a joke about his toughness, but Shen was strong and was maybe one of the few people on campus who could actually do some damage. He'd never actually asked what her upper limit was like. "Then we're good." He glanced at the clock on the wall, then back. "I should let you get back to the party. I was going to try and catch Billy on Skype before bed."
"Send him my love?" Shen requested hopefully. "I know it won't do much, but. Just let him know I'm sending thoughts his way, okay?"
Teddy nodded. "I will. And it will do something -- it always helps to know people are thinking of you."
"It does," Shen agreed with a small smile, and then stepped back. "Okay, go, before I hug you again. I have a blanket permission, you know."
"Very true." Teddy smiled at her, and it took less effort this time than when she'd first approached him. "Have a good rest of the evening, k?"
"You too, all right? Text me if you want someone to cuddle with," Shen told him with a smile.
Teddy laughed, but he nodded. "At least that's an offer that won't make Billy worry," he joked. Though of the two of them, Teddy was probably more possessive. Not jealous, per se, just... happiest when he was sure that Billy was glad to be his. "We'll be back to movie nights in no time, I'm sure of it."
"DS9 nights, I hope you mean," Shen told him with a grin. "I'm still rooting for Kira and Jadzia."
"It's a better option than most of the ships on that show," he grinned instead of daring to dip into the world of spoilers, and moved toward the door.
"Well, I could get behind Julian and Garak if it makes Julian stop being a sexist douchebag," Shen thought out loud, as she followed him into the hallway. "I won't be holding my breath, though. Their whole thing screams homoerotic teasing." But she wasn't all that invested in the talk of ships right then. She stroked a hand down his arm. "Text me if you need me? Or want me?"
She could use those words and not worry about how they'd be taken, which was pretty awesome.
Teddy wasn't so far gone that he couldn't remember why he'd been so intimidated by Shen back in the summer, but that seemed so long ago and far away now. "I will, I promise. And if I end up trying to bake my problems away again, the first batch of cookies is yours."
"I'm better at cooking than baking, but if you want an assistant for your vegan batches, you know where to find me," Shen offered with a smile.
"Will do," he promised, and before he turned and left, he reached for her hand and gave it one last squeeze.